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I have Borderline Personality Disorder but I'm ashamed. (+AMA)

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Original post by Jenx301
I feel the same quite often. I was diagnosed with BPD and ptsd just over a year ago but my family are unaware. In fact, the only people that know my diagnosis are those involved in my care. Are you getting any treatment? Just curious :smile:


Yeah only a couple of very close friends and my ex boyfriend know about the diagnosis. My ex was actually kind of amazing about it although not initially because I think all of the ups and downs confused him. When our relationship was stable I was actually kind of fine.

Not getting any ongoing therapy or anything. I feel like I don't need it most of the time then all of a sudden I'm like **** I'm dying and I need so much help but the thought of the NHS and trying to get through to the type of help I need really puts me off and argh it's way way easier to ignore.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah only a couple of very close friends and my ex boyfriend know about the diagnosis. My ex was actually kind of amazing about it although not initially because I think all of the ups and downs confused him. When our relationship was stable I was actually kind of fine.

Not getting any ongoing therapy or anything. I feel like I don't need it most of the time then all of a sudden I'm like **** I'm dying and I need so much help but the thought of the NHS and trying to get through to the type of help I need really puts me off and argh it's way way easier to ignore.


I understand in terms of the NHS stuff - it's really tough. If you ever wanna talk about it feel free to message me or something. I have been quite unwell with my BPD so I guess I have a good understanding of how people can be affected. x
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Will reply once I'm back from my pizza hunt, OP. Mobile data is ****
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah only a couple of very close friends and my ex boyfriend know about the diagnosis. My ex was actually kind of amazing about it although not initially because I think all of the ups and downs confused him. When our relationship was stable I was actually kind of fine.

Not getting any ongoing therapy or anything. I feel like I don't need it most of the time then all of a sudden I'm like **** I'm dying and I need so much help but the thought of the NHS and trying to get through to the type of help I need really puts me off and argh it's way way easier to ignore.


Please don't ignore it.
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Original post by Anonymous
God I'm crying now. Why am I so messed up? Just reading those symptoms makes me want to die in anger at the world. I'm never going to be able to just be normal and not be dragged down by my brain.


Pizza hunt over.

You might be messed up, I think we are all messed up in our own ways, but that doesn't mean it defines you. Out of the symptoms you've listed, 3, 5, 6, 7 and 9 all are me. Those are my BPD traits. Yes my PD mess is me and I am my PD mess but I don't like it to define me. There is so much more to a person than their mental health.
I have BPD and I think being open about it benefits me. I can say 'this is what I do, this is why I do it and this is the way you can modify your behaviour to make our friendship more healthy' to my friends. We can talk about why I jump to 'strange' conclusions and my friends can reassure me that they aren't angry at me/avoiding me/plotting to hurt me and they can try to avoiding saying certain things that might cause me to abandoned or scared etc. It's not about expecting them to make every change and me doing nothing. It's about working together to have a better friendship.
Speaking as someone married to a BPD person (and bi-polar 2), there's nothing easy about this, but it does improve if you know what is happening. When that is in place, you can (a) treat the problem, and (b) make sure that people who are in your way while this is happening don't also feel the need to go crazy. By giving them a little perspective on this issue, you will make it easier for them to understand and deal with it. Otherwise, you will potentially find yourself in some very abusive and hopeless relationships.

As for setting boundaries and letting people know how much when, I couldn't say. That would be to discuss with your therapist.

Good luck. It's not fun for anybody.
I suffer from schizophrenia and although I'm fairly stable I am a total recluse and incredibly flat 'lazy' I find socialising very difficult and get paranoid and anxious about talking to people.
Original post by SmallTownGirl
I have BPD and I think being open about it benefits me. I can say 'this is what I do, this is why I do it and this is the way you can modify your behaviour to make our friendship more healthy' to my friends. We can talk about why I jump to 'strange' conclusions and my friends can reassure me that they aren't angry at me/avoiding me/plotting to hurt me and they can try to avoiding saying certain things that might cause me to abandoned or scared etc. It's not about expecting them to make every change and me doing nothing. It's about working together to have a better friendship.


Wow that's amazing. Yes some of my friends irl and those I've made on TSR have been amazing with that. Thank you for this insight. Do you get therapy/take medication?
Could the people with BDP please help me, I realise that although I might not specifically have this mental illness but over the past couple of years I've noticed I've been displaying a couple of symptoms of BDP (maybe 6 or 7 from the list OP described but some to a quite a minor extent). How were you all actually diagnosed with BDP? I would like to look into getting a diagnosis but it hasn't gone very well so far.
Original post by Anonymous
Could the people with BDP please help me, I realise that although I might not specifically have this mental illness but over the past couple of years I've noticed I've been displaying a couple of symptoms of BDP (maybe 6 or 7 from the list OP described but some to a quite a minor extent). How were you all actually diagnosed with BDP? I would like to look into getting a diagnosis but it hasn't gone very well so far.


*BPD ...sorry I'm very tired right now
Original post by Anonymous
Could the people with BDP please help me, I realise that although I might not specifically have this mental illness but over the past couple of years I've noticed I've been displaying a couple of symptoms of BDP (maybe 6 or 7 from the list OP described but some to a quite a minor extent). How were you all actually diagnosed with BDP? I would like to look into getting a diagnosis but it hasn't gone very well so far.


Are you in the UK? If so then you would need to be assessed by a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis of BPD
Original post by Anonymous
Could the people with BDP please help me, I realise that although I might not specifically have this mental illness but over the past couple of years I've noticed I've been displaying a couple of symptoms of BDP (maybe 6 or 7 from the list OP described but some to a quite a minor extent). How were you all actually diagnosed with BDP? I would like to look into getting a diagnosis but it hasn't gone very well so far.


You should ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist.
Original post by Jenx301
Are you in the UK? If so then you would need to be assessed by a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis of BPD


Original post by Anonymous
You should ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist.


Yeah I'm from the UK. Should I go to a GP and ask to be referred straight to a psychiatrist then? I went to a GP recently and I told her a few symptoms and she just said I should go to see a counsellor. It'll be about a months waiting list for that though and I'm not sure they can do much, so do you recommend anything in the meantime/instead?
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I'm from the UK. Should I go to a GP and ask to be referred straight to a psychiatrist then? I went to a GP recently and I told her a few symptoms and she just said I should go to see a counsellor. It'll be about a months waiting list for that though and I'm not sure they can do much, so do you recommend anything in the meantime/instead?


Yes, if you want to be assessed. Bare in mind though that you may be in for a long wait and your GP may question whether you need to be seen by one. In the meantime if you have been offered counselling that may help, DBT is supposed to be very useful for these issues so get a DBT textbook online and work through it at home. See your GP and explain everything that has been affecting you. It may not even be BPD, so don't read lots of symptoms online and convince yourself you have it. Im not dismissing you, sorry, am very tired, I just mean it may not be the case. Lots of mental health problems overlap and have similar symptoms etc. Also if you are under 18 they are unlikely to diagnose you with this.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I'm from the UK. Should I go to a GP and ask to be referred straight to a psychiatrist then? I went to a GP recently and I told her a few symptoms and she just said I should go to see a counsellor. It'll be about a months waiting list for that though and I'm not sure they can do much, so do you recommend anything in the meantime/instead?



No if your symptoms are mild and your doctor has referred you to a counsellor that should be ok. Though you can always go to your doctor and insist that you want a diagnosis from a psychiatrist if you want. How severe are your symptoms?
Original post by SmallTownGirl
I have BPD and I think being open about it benefits me. I can say 'this is what I do, this is why I do it and this is the way you can modify your behaviour to make our friendship more healthy' to my friends. We can talk about why I jump to 'strange' conclusions and my friends can reassure me that they aren't angry at me/avoiding me/plotting to hurt me and they can try to avoiding saying certain things that might cause me to abandoned or scared etc. It's not about expecting them to make every change and me doing nothing. It's about working together to have a better friendship.


I try to do this but I really struggle because a lot of my friends also struggle from mental health issues and I think it makes it a lot harder for them to be understanding / able to modify behaviours, and my closest friend especially when his depression is at his worst and I ask him for any validation or confirmation he likes me he gets frustrated and tired and is just like 'of course I like you what a ****ing stupid thing is that to say' and stuff and it makes everything worse. Do you have any advice about balancing mental health between you and friends? Or anyone else?

Original post by Anonymous
Would you go out with someone who has BPD ? It bothers me from a relationship perspective, like I'm expecting that person to take on way too much.

Also I feel like this every second of every day :'(
Original post by unsurewhattodo
I try to do this but I really struggle because a lot of my friends also struggle from mental health issues and I think it makes it a lot harder for them to be understanding / able to modify behaviours, and my closest friend especially when his depression is at his worst and I ask him for any validation or confirmation he likes me he gets frustrated and tired and is just like 'of course I like you what a ****ing stupid thing is that to say' and stuff and it makes everything worse. Do you have any advice about balancing mental health between you and friends? Or anyone else?


Also I feel like this every second of every day :'(


I know exactly how you feel. Also people don't understand BPD and because sometimes the traits make you seem selfish or attention seeking people get so frustrated and don't allow for the fact you are actually unwell.

It's just so many things to deal with and not knowing who you actually are is the worst.
Anonymous 1 is me.
Cesca- :hugs:

See above.

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