Ex messages, doesn't wan to tal

My ex keeps sends me messages every now and then, seemingly wanting to start a conversation - i.e. "you're up late!" (she drives past my house on the way home from work), "I saw .... movie and this character reminded me of you. Haha" and "thank God you chnged your profile picture, I hated the last one. Haha".

Whenever I respond, however, or progress the conversation by asking how she is etc. she is never interested in actually talking, at least not for long. she can even be quite terse in her responses.

Why initiate conversation and then not actually chat..?

Reply 1

Blondie987

She doesn't want you to forget her because she wants attention?

Keep it to few word replies-

"You're up late"
"Yup" etc.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blondie987

She doesn't want you to forget her because she wants attention?

Keep it to few word replies-

"You're up late"
"Yup" etc.

Why does she want attention from me though? Last time we spoke she told me about all the guys that were chasing her.

Reply 3

BristolFresher15

Original post by Blondie987

She doesn't want you to forget her because she wants attention?

Keep it to few word replies-

"You're up late"
"Yup" etc.

Why reply at all, though? Isn't that counter-intuitive in the long run?

Reply 4

rotkäppchen

Original post by Anonymous

Why does she want attention from me though? Last time we spoke she told me about all the guys that were chasing her.

In which case, she wants to make you jealous / make you see that she is desirable because others are after her.

Reply 5

Blondie987

Original post by Anonymous

Why does she want attention from me though? Last time we spoke she told me about all the guys that were chasing her.

It's just a complex with some people, they need to feel wanted and you're one of the people who, at least at one point, wanted her

Reply 6

Blondie987

Original post by BristolFresher15

Why reply at all, though? Isn't that counter-intuitive in the long run?

Well op might want to remain civil with her instead of making it seem like they're annoyed at her

Reply 7

It's****ingWOODY

Your ex doesn't what, sorry?

Reply 8

BristolFresher15

Original post by Blondie987

Well op might want to remain civil with her instead of making it seem like they're annoyed at her

That's fair enough. But as you suggested and I agreed; it seems like she just wants attention, not an actual remaining friendship. So giving her this attention would just be a waste of time rather than a productive effort at maintaining a friendship, right?

I don't know her true motives, but that's my take. (I've had a very similar experience, and it ended very badly)

Reply 9

Blondie987

Original post by BristolFresher15

Well if she's looking for attention she'll probably kick up a fuss if op just ignores her and if she's driving past their house it might be difficult to avoid her, ignoring her could be a good thing to do anyway

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blondie987

It's just a complex with some people, they need to feel wanted and you're one of the people who, at least at one point, wanted her

This I do not understand. If it was actually a case of getting back together, I might be open to the idea - we had a great relationship. But simply to see if I'll reply? That's just cruel.

Reply 11

BristolFresher15

Original post by Blondie987

I guess. It does seem like a difficult situation. Glad I finally got out of mine.

Reply 12

Blondie987

Original post by Anonymous

This I do not understand. If it was actually a case of getting back together, I might be open to the idea - we had a great relationship. But simply to see if I'll reply? That's just cruel.

I'd just give her the same treatment, it sounds like she either doesn't know what she wants (which isn't worth your time) or she's just looking for attention