I'm an absolute dweeb: I wear cardigans and read essays in my spare time, I tutor for literature, I'm the dramaturge for Antigone, I sing a capella, so on. I used to be incredibly outgoing -- I'm one of those infamous drama kids; six years onstage does things to people -- but recently I've found myself becoming more and more reclusive.
After some reflection, I've realised that a lot of my friends stress me out to the point of panic attacks. When my boyfriend goes out with them without me (we're all very close), I have to take sleeping pills to avoid having attacks at about three in the morning. They're not very much like me, but I've known some of them for over ten years.
At this point, the only thing keeping me going is the idea that all this will be over once I graduate, but I don't know whether it's me that's changed, or them. It's not like I want to hate them -- they've been there for me, thick as thieves -- but I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I'm not sure if I hate my friends, or myself.
|Why bother with a post grad course - waste of time?||17-10-2016|