I woke up this morning refreshed and happy. I don't really know what happened. But I want to share this experience with you guys.
I've had this state you call depression for a while now, but I've always been ignoring this because I see no point of fighting something that has developed within your own body/mind. That's why I've accepted depression completely, even if this affected my daily behaviour where I had to pretend to be someone else, but it feels great because people don't see you as someone with mental problems, someone different and they would rather see you with a smile on your face than constantly worrying about little things that doesn't even matter.
I don't think sharing your problems all the time can be of any help because then you'll probably notice how fake the answers are and I'm sure, there are people on here who realise that. This is just my opinion, you're free to do what you want to.
How does it feel to be depressed and happy in the same time?
It's a mixture of bad and good things which are triggered based on someone else's feeling. When I see my friends laughing, I feel great and I know I can just carry on, even if I don't share my emotions the same way they do. The scariest part for me is losing someone I know, even if I know this person for a short period of time.
Happiness doesn't always come so easily. When I was young I was happy when my father brought me different toys, candies and other stuff that kids love. Now, when I'm a bit older all I think of is how great it was to be there, with my family. Memories can be frustrating and sometimes lead to depression that can actually trigger really bad things such as self-harm, insomnia, or even your body changing accordingly; loss of hair, chapped lips, and more. In some cases, your brain can actually think you're in danger because of the suicidal thoughts you might have but I don't want to go into detail. (hang in there, you're not alone!)
I was always thinking about getting drunk because it can actually help you forget about different things. But then, I am starting to think about my parents, the things they have done, the stories they have told me, I'm sure they wouldn't like to see me in this state.
There are some anti-depressants available for people with such problems. I was always skeptical with these kind of things because I don't really like pills, it's like a drug you take just to pretend that you're happy, where in reality you just lie to yourself. (again, no intention of changing your life style.)
This is what I think, but it will probably be different depending on the person because not everyone can accept things so easily.
I don't know if this feeling is based mainly on your personality or just your past experience but it doesn't matter because it gives me strength to focus on things which are important to me now.
Thank you for reading. I hope it can help you somehow and if you have any issues, do not hesitate to speak with someone about it because it will definitely help you. (I urge you to do it, you don't want to go through all this mess alone)
Being depressed and happy
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