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Whats wrong with me?

I've confided in a close friend who is really clued up on mental health and he thinks I'm a sociopath, but with all the conflicting opinions on the internet I'm curious to see how many others agree.

I have this full buzzing feeling in my head as if there's nothing else there, and I try to fill it by lashing out at others or trying to make myself panic or upset to get sympathy from them.

I just feel like there's nothing there apart from anxiousness and irritation.

I enjoy manipulating people, it gives me a thrill.

I never feel guilt or remorse so I hate apologising or looking weak.

I constantly imagine and fantasise harming/killing others and dominating others because they are scared of me. Or having powers or secretly being royalty.

I smile at other people's misfortune or when they lash back at me.

People being in pain or needing help annoys me because I want it to be me.

Even though I know it isn't true I have the uncontrollable feeling I'm being watched by people through an invisible window.

I'm super paranoid and on edge that I'm going to be attacked.

I quickly fall into hysteria and panic over every little thing.

Please tell me what is going on I don't know anymore I feel like I'm coming undone.
(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1
This is going to sound awful, but have you read up on "narcissistic personality disorder"? The fact that you're self aware does discount it, but from some of the things you've said it seems to match up.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 2
Yeah, should probably get that checked.
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
I've confided in a close friend who is really clued up on mental health and he thinks I'm a sociopath, but with all the conflicting opinions on the internet I'm curious to see how many others agree.

I have this full buzzing feeling in my head as if there's nothing else there, and I try to fill it by lashing out at others or trying to make myself panic or upset to get sympathy from them.

I just feel like there's nothing there apart from anxiousness and irritation.

I enjoy manipulating people, it gives me a thrill.

I never feel guilt or remorse so I hate apologising or looking weak.

I constantly imagine and fantasise harming/killing others and dominating others because they are scared of me. Or having powers or secretly being royalty.

I smile at other people's misfortune or when they lash back at me.

People being in pain or needing help annoys me because I want it to be me.

Even though I know it isn't true I have the uncontrollable feeling I'm being watched by people through an invisible window.

I'm super paranoid and on edge that I'm going to be attacked.

I quickly fall into hysteria and panic over every little thing.

Please tell me what is going on I don't know anymore I feel like I'm coming undone.


lets see what i have from this list :biggrin:

i'd really love to do that but i keep things to myself
apparently i'm super manipulative too according to lots of online tests....

i guess pretty much everything in bold...
Reply 4
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
I've confided in a close friend who is really clued up on mental health and he thinks I'm a sociopath, but with all the conflicting opinions on the internet I'm curious to see how many others agree.

I have this full buzzing feeling in my head as if there's nothing else there, and I try to fill it by lashing out at others or trying to make myself panic or upset to get sympathy from them.

I just feel like there's nothing there apart from anxiousness and irritation.

I enjoy manipulating people, it gives me a thrill.

I never feel guilt or remorse so I hate apologising or looking weak.

I constantly imagine and fantasise harming/killing others and dominating others because they are scared of me. Or having powers or secretly being royalty.

I smile at other people's misfortune or when they lash back at me.

People being in pain or needing help annoys me because I want it to be me.

Even though I know it isn't true I have the uncontrollable feeling I'm being watched by people through an invisible window.

I'm super paranoid and on edge that I'm going to be attacked.

I quickly fall into hysteria and panic over every little thing.

Please tell me what is going on I don't know anymore I feel like I'm coming undone.


The fact that you care about it shows that you are not a sociopath so don't listen to that friend. Do you feel stressed lately?
well, you've just given a long list of what is wrong with you - I don't think you really needed to ask that
I'm doing my AS levels which I am insanely stressed about, but I would kind of like it if I was a sociopath, I'm not worried I just want to put a label on it if that makes sense?
Original post by iliacl
This is going to sound awful, but have you read up on "narcissistic personality disorder"? The fact that you're self aware does discount it, but from some of the things you've said it seems to match up.


I'll read up on it, I don't actually see anything 'wrong' with how I'm acting but it would be good to have a reason for it.
Reply 8
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
I'm doing my AS levels which I am insanely stressed about, but I would kind of like it if I was a sociopath, I'm not worried I just want to put a label on it if that makes sense?


Stress may be the reason then. Believe it or not but stress sometimes can give people really insane symptoms. Why would you want to be labelled a sociopath though? There is nothing cool about them, I've met a few in my life and it was a disaster each time. Hell, you wouldn't even consider your friend 'friend' if you were one because sociopaths do not see others as equals, or even worth their time.
Reply 9
Original post by Ciel.
Stress may be the reason then. Believe it or not but stress sometimes can give people really insane symptoms. Why would you want to be labelled as a sociopath though? There is nothing cool about them, I've met a few in my life and it was a disaster each time. Hell, you wouldn't even consider your friend 'friend' if you were one because sociopaths do not see others as equals, or even worth their time.


I understand OP about that, though. I thought there was something severely wrong with me until I was diagnosed with anxiety. Sometimes it's nice to know that you're not the only one, I suppose?
Reply 10
Original post by iliacl
I understand OP about that, though. I thought there was something severely wrong with me until I was diagnosed with anxiety. Sometimes it's nice to know that you're not the only one, I suppose?

I know what you mean but to be honest, from my experience, sociopaths never see any problems with the way they are so I don't think hse has sociopaths tendencies.
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
I'm doing my AS levels which I am insanely stressed about, but I would kind of like it if I was a sociopath, I'm not worried I just want to put a label on it if that makes sense?


No one with a mental illness likes having them. It's hard enough that they tend to get in the way of normal relationships.
Original post by iliacl
I understand OP about that, though. I thought there was something severely wrong with me until I was diagnosed with anxiety. Sometimes it's nice to know that you're not the only one, I suppose?



Gives you an excuse for how you act too. It's like, if I don't have an actual thing wrong with me then there's no way for me to justify how I am.
Reply 13
Original post by Ciel.
I know what you mean but to be honest, from my experience, sociopaths never see any problems with the way they are so I don't think hse has sociopaths tendencies.


Mm, that was my issue with my narcissist theory as well. I'm no professional, though, so I don't really know. :biggrin:
Original post by Ciel.
I know what you mean but to be honest, from my experience, sociopaths never see any problems with the way they are so I don't think hse has sociopaths tendencies.


Okay but then what is wrong with me? This can't be normal right?
Reply 15
Original post by iliacl
Mm, that was my issue with my narcissist theory as well. I'm no professional, though, so I don't really know. :biggrin:


Yeah narcissists and sociopaths in most cases don't believe for a second that there's something wrong with them >.<
I do still enjoy manipulating people and dominating them though, I know I shouldn't but I still want to.
Reply 17
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
Okay but then what is wrong with me? This can't be normal right?


Hmm some people are naturally a bit 'mean' etc. It might be stress contributing also. Were you always like that?
Reply 18
Original post by Sophhascoconuts
I do still enjoy manipulating people and dominating them though, I know I shouldn't but I still want to.


Maybe you should just consider S&M in the future then lol. Maybe it would help actually. When you are an adult I mean!
Original post by Ciel.
Hmm some people are naturally a bit 'mean' etc. It might be stress contributing also. Were you always like that?


It's gradually gotten worse over the past few years, I think you're right and stress had definitely made it more severe but I had it even before stress. Also, if it's stress why doesn't anyone else I know act like this? Isn't it a really bizarre reaction?

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