Not one to judge but...
I'm seeing a girl at uni at present. She has just opened up to me about her past and i'm concerned, since we are progressing towards a relationship seemingly.
She told me that she has been seeing a counsellor lately in order to sort out her issues with fidelity and self-worth. Her father abandoned the family when she was at an early age, leaving her with a desire to "gain confidence from the attention of men".
From the age of 16-18 she was (it appears to me) highly promiscuous, partying often and slept with about 12 guys. I'm not sure whether this constitutes promiscuity these days.
She then calmed down and settled down with a boyfriend. They managed to make it work for 2 years at long distance before she "fell out of love with him" and slept with another guy at a festival, twice. She told me that she hadn't "even felt that guilty", hadn't told the boyfriend and stayed with him for 3 months afterwards, but was determined to change her ways and not "become her father".
After a 2 month period of "focusing on [herself]", which she referred to as a "long time being single", she got together with another guy. She refers to this as her most intense relationship. After 6 months, she had referred to him as "soulmate" etc. and spoke of a long-term future with him. However, once they parted for university, everything changed. after just a week, she stopped messaging the guy and ended up in bed with another guy a week later. She claims nothing happened but this seems unlikely given what I know.
At uni she is pretty wild, partying often, doing drugs, drinking heavily etc. However, she is not seeing this counsellor, and hasn't cheated on me in the year we've been seeing one another. We also share all of our friends so it seems unlikely that she could do so without becoming a social pariah. I just don't know how to approach this. Thoughts?
She told me that she has been seeing a counsellor lately in order to sort out her issues with fidelity and self-worth. Her father abandoned the family when she was at an early age, leaving her with a desire to "gain confidence from the attention of men".
From the age of 16-18 she was (it appears to me) highly promiscuous, partying often and slept with about 12 guys. I'm not sure whether this constitutes promiscuity these days.
She then calmed down and settled down with a boyfriend. They managed to make it work for 2 years at long distance before she "fell out of love with him" and slept with another guy at a festival, twice. She told me that she hadn't "even felt that guilty", hadn't told the boyfriend and stayed with him for 3 months afterwards, but was determined to change her ways and not "become her father".
After a 2 month period of "focusing on [herself]", which she referred to as a "long time being single", she got together with another guy. She refers to this as her most intense relationship. After 6 months, she had referred to him as "soulmate" etc. and spoke of a long-term future with him. However, once they parted for university, everything changed. after just a week, she stopped messaging the guy and ended up in bed with another guy a week later. She claims nothing happened but this seems unlikely given what I know.
At uni she is pretty wild, partying often, doing drugs, drinking heavily etc. However, she is not seeing this counsellor, and hasn't cheated on me in the year we've been seeing one another. We also share all of our friends so it seems unlikely that she could do so without becoming a social pariah. I just don't know how to approach this. Thoughts?
Avoid her like the plague before it gets too close!!
Not one for the long time old chap
Original post by Anonymous
hasn't cheated on me in the year we've been seeing one another.
how do you know? she said she stayed with a guy for three months after and didnt tell him. seems like bad news to me where you will get hurt in the end
Original post by Anonymous
I'm seeing a girl at uni at present. She has just opened up to me about her past and i'm concerned, since we are progressing towards a relationship seemingly.
She told me that she has been seeing a counsellor lately in order to sort out her issues with fidelity and self-worth. Her father abandoned the family when she was at an early age, leaving her with a desire to "gain confidence from the attention of men".
From the age of 16-18 she was (it appears to me) highly promiscuous, partying often and slept with about 12 guys. I'm not sure whether this constitutes promiscuity these days.
She then calmed down and settled down with a boyfriend. They managed to make it work for 2 years at long distance before she "fell out of love with him" and slept with another guy at a festival, twice. She told me that she hadn't "even felt that guilty", hadn't told the boyfriend and stayed with him for 3 months afterwards, but was determined to change her ways and not "become her father".
After a 2 month period of "focusing on [herself]", which she referred to as a "long time being single", she got together with another guy. She refers to this as her most intense relationship. After 6 months, she had referred to him as "soulmate" etc. and spoke of a long-term future with him. However, once they parted for university, everything changed. after just a week, she stopped messaging the guy and ended up in bed with another guy a week later. She claims nothing happened but this seems unlikely given what I know.
At uni she is pretty wild, partying often, doing drugs, drinking heavily etc. However, she is not seeing this counsellor, and hasn't cheated on me in the year we've been seeing one another. We also share all of our friends so it seems unlikely that she could do so without becoming a social pariah. I just don't know how to approach this. Thoughts?
She told me that she has been seeing a counsellor lately in order to sort out her issues with fidelity and self-worth. Her father abandoned the family when she was at an early age, leaving her with a desire to "gain confidence from the attention of men".
From the age of 16-18 she was (it appears to me) highly promiscuous, partying often and slept with about 12 guys. I'm not sure whether this constitutes promiscuity these days.
She then calmed down and settled down with a boyfriend. They managed to make it work for 2 years at long distance before she "fell out of love with him" and slept with another guy at a festival, twice. She told me that she hadn't "even felt that guilty", hadn't told the boyfriend and stayed with him for 3 months afterwards, but was determined to change her ways and not "become her father".
After a 2 month period of "focusing on [herself]", which she referred to as a "long time being single", she got together with another guy. She refers to this as her most intense relationship. After 6 months, she had referred to him as "soulmate" etc. and spoke of a long-term future with him. However, once they parted for university, everything changed. after just a week, she stopped messaging the guy and ended up in bed with another guy a week later. She claims nothing happened but this seems unlikely given what I know.
At uni she is pretty wild, partying often, doing drugs, drinking heavily etc. However, she is not seeing this counsellor, and hasn't cheated on me in the year we've been seeing one another. We also share all of our friends so it seems unlikely that she could do so without becoming a social pariah. I just don't know how to approach this. Thoughts?
This whole text say it all. You clearly don't trust her and rightfully so. I would say leave, seeing as she does not seem like she is good for you.
I'm not close to my dad either but I didn't sleep around, do drugs etc. She's an adult now and has to take responsibility for herself. Tbh OP at this stage I don't think it's worth being involved in all her mess. She should work on herself before entering a relationship, finish the counselling and get her act right.
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