Hello I am a 19 year old at university here in the UK, I cannot tell what is going on in my head and was hoping someone could enlighten me on there opinion. Basically... I feel like I'm drifting throughout my whole life, I struggle to see what I'm good at, my purpose, my motivation, what makes me happy. I genuinely can't remember the last time I was on 'top of the world' happy. I don't envision anything positive, my mind constantly goes blank when I think about my future. Sexually frustrated, haven't had a girlfriend. Lack confidence, low self-esteem is mainly a direct cause of this, along with everything else I've explained. Constantly have negative thoughts and perceptions about my lifestyle. My sleeping pattern in the past has been woeful, I used to sleep over 14 hours a day and stay up during the night dwelling. It's almost as if I lack any core motivation. As a whole I feel too normal too civilised with my social group and society, feel like I am irrelevant to matter even though people close care about me. I feel like I'm just a spectator and not engaging with what I see other happy people to be doing. Coasting without vision for change and a lack of motivation and confidence to fuel that change is exactly how I feel now, heck maybe even for the past 10 years, its become normal and it can't be right. I am not suicidal I couldn't do that to the people in my life especially my family but I do wonder what people would think if i wasn't around you know. To me that seems bewildering to think like that but it happens a lot.
To summarize, I can't really understand who I really am, where I am going or want to go, and who really gives a sh*t. I just feel so lost! Thanks
Don't understand myself let alone someone else? Always forever lost help...
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