I'm pretty new here, as in I just signed up so I can make this post. I'm 18 and i'm currently doing my first year for a HND in Software Development. I want to complete it (get two A's in my graded units) and go to uni so I can do a related course. But there's something holding me back. Two years ago I sat my Highers for 5th year. I was projected to do really well because I did well in my standard grades. My highers were Maths, English, Physics, Computing and History and when I sat them, got the results and I couldn't believe it. I probably go the worst results in history.
I got an A in History so that was good, a C in Computing, which bothered and then for BOTH English and Physics I got an N/A. I got two N/A's and to make matters worst they didn't let me sit my Math's Higher because I did so badly in my prelim (and my maths teacher hated me). I don't think anyone else has gotten worse results than what I did.
The next year I pretty much had to do the whole thing again. I redid Maths, Computing and Physics. Thankfully I passes all of them (B, B and C respectively) and even went on to get an A in Modern Studies.
But I'm still not over it like at all. I felt sick when I got those results and I'm still mad at myself. I know I could have done better. I could have been in Uni right now if i didn't f*** myself over but no. Not only that but was I do get into uni It won't feel earned. I can get two A's in my Graded Units and still feel I didn't earn my place. There are so many people out there I know got better grades than me but I can guarantee you they won't be able to get into the schools they want.
Has anyone had an experience like I did? Have you gotten over it and how did you. It still bothers me to this day and I can't get over it.
I need to get this off my chest...
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