Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

What is the psychology of my uncle's mean actions

Announcements Posted on
Would YOU be put off a uni with a high crime rate? First 50 to have their say get a £5 Amazon voucher! 27-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    My uncle has been a mean to me for no reason, I'm trying to find the reasons behind his motives, all I can think of is:

    1) He is jealous of my success, he's earn't maximum only £16k all his life and when I start my career I should be on more than £21k going up.

    2) He has had a sad life, so he has resentement, bottles it up and takes it out on others.

    3) He is very immature and his mind in not working properly, he being mean because he has the schoolboy mentality which also means he has had no love in his life.

    This is what he has done:

    1) I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".
    2) He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way,
    3) At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills.
    4) This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:

    I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddely said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenely he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"...........WTF. Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.

    5) I remember I was upstaits when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat".

    6) I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.

    7) At a 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.

    8) When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.

    9) He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.

    10) Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.

    I cannot understand why he is very immature selfish and a bully, I can only think he has had a sad life, he has nothing better to do and he cannot stand me succeeding living a happy life.

    What are your thoughts? He is married with two children, one who is studying A-levels and a daughter who is a pharmacist.

    you know what: don't loose sleep over it. He sounds like he's a top class jerk, not worth your worry tbh.

    If it was me, I'd make a situation where he tried to put me down awkward, like say he just made some snide side-comment, like calling you scaredy cat or anything about having/not having a gf, I'd just look him in the eye and go "why would you say that? What are you trying to gain here?" and if I was really mad whack out one of the "it's not funny, it's not clever. It's just sad, and I don't think anybody really appreciates you trying to put me down all the :dolphin: :dolphin: :dolphin: :dolphin: :dolphin: time"


    good luck, but just ignore him, he can't do anything to you really, not unless you let him get to you.

    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I cannot understand why he is very immature selfish and a bully, I can only think he has had a sad life, he has nothing better to do and he cannot stand me succeeding living a happy life.

    What are your thoughts? He is married with two children, one who is studying A-levels and a daughter who is a pharmacist.
    You sound overly bothered about something which isn't really a huge issue, its not like he's doing anything terrible to you, just making a few mean comments which a lot of people would laugh off and forgotten about.

    The "asking if you needed a wife" part is seriously gross (and a little bit mad). I can relate to you there because normally bitter people, bitter about something will always find ways of juicing all the fun out of life for a good kid . And they do it in the worst way imaginable: people like these trolled me once with comments about like food (they know no nothing about hygiene!) and because I am from a family who is so good, open minded and understanding, they are always 100percent behind me in everything I do, I found their talks about food totally abnormal. Because of like that, I found those experiences of vocal expectations of eating dirty brownies ( "Eat my brownies, please! I promise you they are delicious!" ) from absolute randomers painfully unforgettable! I never ate their dirty brownies, in the end...only ate and loved my mom's fruit custard!
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: April 15, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

I want...
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.