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Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    Hi guys, I was wondering if someone could advise me...

    I'm 16 years old and in year 12 studying 4 as levels. Throughout the year I've had a lot going on in my home life as my mother has been very unwell and in and out of hospital all year. This has had a negative impact on my schooling and as a result I've gone from gaining A*s at gcse to Us at AS.

    Also recently my 'best friend' and I had a major falling out, which has resulted in her making the whole of the year turn against me for ridiculous reasons. I literally have no one to talk to or turn to. The school is aware of these problems and all their details, and also aware of the fact that this is having SEVERE effects on my education. I have also come to terms with the fact that I am going to fail this year, and so have plans on retaking with different subjects (the subjects I am currently doing were not ones I chose for myself, but rather ones chosen for me by teachers and my mum) at a different school.

    Also recently this has been having a toll on my mental health. I've been feeling increasingly anxious and depressed due to all of the pressure and stress from school, hate from people around me, and problems my mother is facing. I have lost all motivation to do any work, and even when I was trying I was failing, and I find it so difficult to get out of bed and be happy and face the world. I know that sounds awful and I hate saying it but that's how I'm feeling.

    I was reading an article by someone online who was suffering similar problems as me, and she said it was possible for her to drop out of school for the remainder of the year in order to recover (she was also offered the option of employment for the remainder of the year), and then reenrol the next year and start from scratch (she mentioned getting a psychologist or parent to phone the school). I honestly have no other options, I cannot face going back to school and forced to be around people who hate me all while failing everything.

    Could someone please advise me on how I could possibly do this, such as who I need to speak to and what I need to say. Also, I was wondering if someone could advise me on where to go for help with the way I've been recently feeling, the school has organised sessions with a "learning mentor" but she's proved to be useless.

    Thank you in advance


    It sounds like you have been having a tough time!! I'm sorry to hear about your Mum and the school situation I can't really help out with the academics, but perhaps I can offer some advice on what to do about the way you are feeling.

    It's hardly surprising that it's taking a toll on you with all that is going on. I can definitely relate to you with not being able to get out of bed in the morning, feeling sad and exhausted all the time. I think the first major step (and probably the hardest) is admitting that we need help in situations like these. And you've done that so that's definitely something to be proud of.

    In terms of practicality, does your school offer a counselling service? If not, perhaps look into external places where you can go. Another port of call is your doctor. I was terrified to see the doctor when I was feeling down, afraid that they would slap some sort of label on me and just dismiss everything. But I was pleasantly surprised. She listened to me and then gave me the option of being referred on to CBT (can take a few weeks under the NHS) or medication, and I decided to take the CBT route. The Mind website may be able to help with a few things - with regards to general information but your GP is probably a good shout for local support groups if that is what you want to try. Every area is different so sometimes it takes a bit of googling. Good samaritans are always on the end of the phone if you wanted someone just to talk to.

    CBT and mindfulness really helped me with regards to getting me out of my own personal mess and back on track. There are breathing exercises which can help calm anxiety and mindfulness helps you to focus in the here and now - ignoring the past and future and just simply being there in the moment. I know it all seems a bit new age, but it's something to consider - it really does work (with a bit of practice). There is evidence behind it and at my medical school, we have been told about it and how it can benefit patients. Meditation also helps to relax.

    Simple things help too. Make sure you eat well, drink enough and try to get enough sleep. Exercise can vastly improve mood too.

    Good luck with it, I hope this helped.
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