Was I raped???

Ok.

Did you consent to the activity?

If yes = not rape.

If no = rape.

Now, you do realise that you could NOT give consent due to your intoxication, i.e. you were incapitated by the alcohol. Legally then, you were raped.

Not true, rape also requires the accused to lack reasonable belief in the other's consent. If the alleged victim was obviously drunk beyond the point of having the capacity to consent (agree by choice), and the accused appreciated this to be the case, then yes there is no reasonable belief in consent and rape has been committed. If however, the accused did not believe the alleged victim was this drunk, and that she still had the capacity to consent, then providing that this belief was reasonable (i.e. the alleged victim was not stumbling about and puking everywhere) then he may not be found guilty. It would then depend on whether the alleged victim's signs, such as asking him to put on a condom, constitute 'reasonable belief in consent'.

Personally I believe this was rape - the guy did not appear to take sufficient steps to make sure that the OP consented (which she clearly did not - consent must be express and unequivocal; wilfully submitting i.e. silence, or not saying no, is NOT consent, plus she seemed so drunk as to lack capacity to consent).

This is simply not true. There are two elements of rape a) where there was lack of consent and b) whether the defendant believed there was consent. Simply having sex, without consent being given, is not enough to form rape.

She was sober enough to give him her address and ask that he used a condom. I'd say this is just a complete slapper with morning after regrets who really shouldn't be seeking to blame her appalling lifestyle choices on others.

She was sober enough to give him her address and ask that he used a condom. I'd say this is just a complete slapper with morning after regrets who really shouldn't be seeking to blame her appalling lifestyle choices on others.

Assuming she's talking about seven different occasions this person is living like a pig.

I've been so drunk before that I didn't even remember the entire night but I still somehow gave my friend my address (I don't remember this) so my capability to give my address does not mean that I was sober.

"appalling lifestyle choices" this was once thanks



this is my first thread on this topic thanks

He took her to his apartment, so he didn't take her home.

I would love to show your views to your mother and see what she thinks.

Who cares about that? We're not barbarians. Hit us up with the English Law.

Sorry, was speaking solely from Scottish law.

To get a conviction, yes, it's a bit more complicated including asking if the defendant has a defence of a reasonable belief in consent. (It'd be lovely to have this man asked what the basis for his belief in consent was: 'Well, she was drunk and vulnerable enough to come to my place even though she made it clear that she wanted to go to hers. When it was obvious that I was going to repeatedly **** her regardless of what she thought, she asked me to use condoms... that's consent, isn't it?'

But it should be obvious that just because there isn't a conviction doesn't mean that it wasn't - morally - rape. From what's been presented, this is clearly one of those cases. To anyone who's not a rape apologist / going 'well, if that's rape, I'm a rapist too, so it can't be rape', anyway.

So I drank A LOT (at least a litre) and my "friend's" friends put me on a bus and I vaguely remember like talking to everyone on the bus and I met this guy (he was completely sober) and I told him where I lived and he still took me to his apartment. I remember telling him to put on a condom cause I was not about to get pregnant or an STI just because I was drunk. He would stop every so often to "cuddle" and I just remember waking feeling like complete **** and seeing like 3 full condoms on the floor. He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried and again I told him to put the condom on;. He wasn't like violent though but he was a complete stranger and was like a decade older than me (he knew my age). He didn't ask me for permission, he'd just stop for a bit if I started crying or stopped saying anything. I feel like I couldn't push him away though because I was smoking his cigarettes and staying at his house so it was essentially my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. And I dont even know if I was up for it or not but most likely not since I didnt even want to do it with my boyfriend when I was sober. He didnt really "force force" me so honestly I'm so confused right now, I literally just got home. I don't THINK I was raped because I dont remember much and it wasn't exactly traumatising like the first time it happened (I was younger). I just feel so dirty and I feel like it was my fault cause I didnt really stop stop him and I didnt go home when I should have and continued to go to his apartment so I did have some sort of control in which direction it could have gone in. I feel sick but I think that is just cause I'm hungover.

Should I just pretend it didnt happen and move on? One of those drunken mistakes things.

It is sensible to stop and ask whether the alleged rapist believed consent was not given, morally and legally. It doesn't make me a rape apologist to do this. It makes me a sensible human being.

If you're ever on the receiving end, you might find it hard to distinguish between having a penis put in you without your consent a) when the assailant has what a jury would decide is a reasonable belief in consent and b) when he does not.

I'm going to suggest that you'd experience both of those as 'being raped', even if the outcome of any trial is different.

As I said, I would love to hear his explanation of any claimed belief in consent: "I kept refusing but he still tried .. He didn't ask me for permission, he'd just stop for a bit if I started crying or stopped saying anything".

I can't believe people on TSR still fall for these threads... If you have been raped, you wouldn't ask the opinion of a website of strangers, you would speak to the police.

Not necessarily. People are gregarious.

Is everyone on TSR getting raped nowadays

it's pretty much an entry req

i come from a poor background so i got in through a shortlist rape free.

yay for equality.

Sorry love, no sympathy here.

If you can't control your alcohol, what do you expect?