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What should I do if me and my best friend had sex?

I'm a boy Since going to uni this September me and one of my best friend whose a girl,don't really talk much, its one of those friends when you're away from each other your both living it up but when you see each other its not awkward its all love!

But She's always been planning to come over, it also helps one of her other girl friends lives her too, so she came with her to see me, and this was the first ngit out together and we both had a bit too much drink and ended up having sex.

The morning afterwards it wasn't awkward at all like most people would expect, actually we just lied there naked for hours reminiscing about the past and talking about the future and just laughing like we always do!
she had to leave later that afternoon with my other friend and since she's left I've always felt so empty and somewhat confused

I don't know wether to message her or what to message her, or if I should just leave it and not say anything at all. I did send a snapchat to her which was a snapchat of one, of my friend but she didn't reply most likely thinking it wasn't directed at her but instead other people

Like the morning afterwards we were still so comfortable with each other like it didn't feel awkward at all, instead it felt normal and right! as if it should've happened. Like I thought id have regrets but I really don't especially as it was with a girl i called my best friend! But when she left thats when the emptiness and confusion kicked in.

I feel like I have 2 options
1.) Talk to her, problem is what do I say, how do I start the conversation and I don't even know what I actually want to talk about as I really don't know what I want, problem is that might make it awkward
2.) Just say nothing at all, it was fine between us the morning afterwards, and saying something might make it awkward
Reply 1
Avatar for chikane
chikane
20
I would not say anything because you don't feel anything for her also it wasn't awkward for either of you i can't imagine what you would say to her unless she left early the next day ignoring you (which isnt the case here) i would obviously message her but if you both don't find it a problem leave it if you want to message her just make small talk.
Work out your objective, then decide on a strategy. What kind of relationship do you want?
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 3
Avatar for j_dot
j_dot
Mate you were in a situation I was a few months ago. No harm can come from whatever outcome you choose. In my situation we've come regulars 😉 it's well wired bc it is your best mate and we've moved onto a stage where it is STILL NOT WEIRD (wahay) but we have sorta got into a situation where we're going out but not going out (my mate had to make it bait for me btw). Neither of us want a relationship with the other but it's safe fun without the hassle of chasing a girl. Don't get me wrong it's not mutually exclusive so you can still actively go out on a madness.
Alternatively if you think you could have feelings for her, then this is where it starts, if you know her well enough to gauge if her reaction to you trying to go out with her would be successful - DO IT NOW!!!

On the other hand you can just leave it at a one off. But the point of my post was to tell you that as you're already best mates there is an in between, it's more than just a **** buddy because you're her mate, you get on with her on more than an intimate, physical level.

As someone who has been there I hope you listen to this properly and decide what's best for ur situation
Reply 4
Avatar for afcfan1997
afcfan1997
OP
Original post by j_dot
Mate you were in a situation I was a few months ago. No harm can come from whatever outcome you choose. In my situation we've come regulars 😉 it's well wired bc it is your best mate and we've moved onto a stage where it is STILL NOT WEIRD (wahay) but we have sorta got into a situation where we're going out but not going out (my mate had to make it bait for me btw). Neither of us want a relationship with the other but it's safe fun without the hassle of chasing a girl. Don't get me wrong it's not mutually exclusive so you can still actively go out on a madness.
Alternatively if you think you could have feelings for her, then this is where it starts, if you know her well enough to gauge if her reaction to you trying to go out with her would be successful - DO IT NOW!!!

On the other hand you can just leave it at a one off. But the point of my post was to tell you that as you're already best mates there is an in between, it's more than just a **** buddy because you're her mate, you get on with her on more than an intimate, physical level.

As someone who has been there I hope you listen to this properly and decide what's best for ur situation




finally its so great to meet a person who is going through what I've been, as I think it might be harder for people to give us advice if they don't know what we've been through
The only thing I'm finding hard is wondering if i should send her a message or not, like if i do what do i write her? and i feel like i should message her soon especially as she's going back this sunday
Like i was saying since going to uni we don't really talk much
Reply 5
Avatar for j_dot
j_dot
Original post by afcfan1997
finally its so great to meet a person who is going through what I've been, as I think it might be harder for people to give us advice if they don't know what we've been through
The only thing I'm finding hard is wondering if i should send her a message or not, like if i do what do i write her? and i feel like i should message her soon especially as she's going back this sunday
Like i was saying since going to uni we don't really talk much


you yourself need to decide what you want to do, no pressure but choose one of the 3 options (leave it, more than **** buddy, relationship). From there you can move to a goal.

PERSONALLY, I would keep the light hearted messages up, talk to her like you would before everything occured. If she's your best friend I'm hoping you talk to her fairly regularly anyway lol. so just act like normal, it's a normal situation. depending on what you want to do in the long term depends on what advise I can help you with.
In my situation we sort of agreed to be best-friend-****-buddies the 2nd time so it made stuff easier. If you're going down this route, next time both of you are drunk etc, pull again and have that convo either during or the morning after.

If you're doing a relationship thing (that confusion might be feelings mate, decide for yourself) then save the convo for when you see her in person, keep the small talk txt chat tho.

If you're leaving it, continue as normal and you're gonna have to deny that confusion feeling you have.

Ultimately it's gonna have to be a joint decision, my advise is make it happen again, if she rejects that first kiss then have the "what happened" chat, but the way you put it, she is alright w/ what happened. If you want a relationship then don't go straight to sex, talk about feelings & ****.

PM me if you want to chat more bro!!!

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