I've always worried too much about everything, starting from when I was a child. This has always been present throughout GCSE's, A levels and now university. Whilst I always felt quite stressed during A levels the worst side effects were acid reflux and never being able to relax. Now at university it has gotten a lot worse. Constantly stressing and being anxious about everything has led to me being extremely harsh on myself, this leads to feeling depressed about everything: whilst in this low mood I no longer care about the things which put me there, I'm just sad, can't do anything and have no interest in things.
I've had several episodes of short term depression caused by this since I came to uni. so since i've come back this semester I've been trying a lot harder to not worry about things and be less harsh on myself to be perfect but I broke down a month ago due to stress, thankfully it was before the easter holidays so i had some time off from uni. I came back, was completely care free (i went out every night either clubbing or to see friends, going to bed between 2am and 5am every night for about 2 weeks, i was extremely sociable and happy) but now whatever this is has hit me harder than ever.
It creeps up over a week or so then peaks and I cannot speak to people, or be in social situations, or concentrate on work. People ask whats up because I seem distant and distracted and I get to the point where I can't pretend to be happy anymore so I don't go out At it's worse I cannot get out of bed. Today I tried to attend classes, walked into the lab and straight out again because I couldn't face it. I'm not sure if these periods of stress/anxiety/depression are caused by anything because even without external matters like stress from academic work I have constantly cycled between short periods of depression, then either feeling normal or extremely happy/carefree/wanting to do everything all the time until i hit a low again.
This has happened for about 4 years now. Every time I come out of the low mood I think, I am fine now this will never happen again but it always does, within at least 2 months, every single time. I'm going to see a therapist after I told this all to the mental health services at uni but they referred me a month ago, its in a few days and I just need to talk to someone before then.
Has anyone else experienced feeling this way?
|Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say!||26-10-2016|