Hey all, I'm an Industrial Design undergrad studying at Brunel, coming towards the end of my first year. I'm 21. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for the longest time but it has become increasingly worse since being at uni. A story as old as time.
My course was altered a few weeks before the start of first term and is simply not the course I was sold. Brunel being known for its excellent workshops is what sold me but the new course director butchered our workshop time to nil so that he could double the weighting of the module he's directly in control of.
That being said, Design at Brunel is supposedly a goodun so everyone keeps telling me and a degree in design there still holds weight apparently. Despite this, I've been toying with the idea of dropping out for many months now with only the friendships I had established thus far still keeping me there. Unfortunately, its come out recently that they don't really feel the same and I've found myself on the outside of a nasty little clique, looking in. For example, in a group of say 15 people including myself, 14 of them went to Cornwall to de-stress after term 2 without telling me, letting Facebook tell me when they uploaded 400+ photos of them all having a swell time. I know s**t happens, life goes on, and it's not the end of the world. But I'm supposed to be living with these people next year and its not the first thing that they've collectively hidden from me. Though I can see past the childishness, half of these people are my future house mates and were the one thing making me feel good about being at uni. It may sound pathetic but I really struggle without friends around me. I know the people you are friends with in first year aren't necessarily the ones you stay friends with throughout, but this is more of a final straw to break the camel's back. I'm supposed to sign my housing contract on Monday.
The problem is, if I drop out I will end up inevitably stacking shelves in ASDA in my backwater hometown, either living with my overbearing, controlling, alcoholic of a mother or my cynical, angry and equally alcoholic father. They try in their own way but they honestly make me miserable like no-one else. I've realised now that £9,000 a year to not really be taught anything, but instead to just be given a loose idea of what to teach yourself is not a good deal, at least not for me. Living in a room the size of a cupboard hasn't helped. Long story short, I'm feeling pretty f***d.
This is all a little bleak I know, but I'm just wondering if anyone has been there or is feeling the same. Any advice would be appreciated, or if anyone generally wants to have a go then by all means, have a go.
To leave or not to leave...
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