How does a guy (who is not good looking) get a girlfriend?

Can you not see most of your replies stem back to this. This is something that you have told yourself! "can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive", that's so ridiculous man! It seems to me that you're feeling a bit sorry for yourself.

You said you're shy and not confident, you know it's really hard to approach people like that. I would know because I was just like that. You also mentioned that you don't like being confident because people think it's unusual. Well initially of course it is, I went through the same thing! But as soon as you get more comfortable with it and not care anymore then people will get used to it and you'll transform yourself. Just be more approachable and confident and people will be interested in knowing you.

This may sound a bit harsh but instead of feeling sorry for yourself just work on your character and confidence and you'll be doing much better. And yes, it does take time so don't give up so easily. Also, don't blame women for "not wanting to get to know you because of looks" because, like I said, it comes down to coming across as a shy person with low self-esteem; it is very hard to approach a shy person in comparison to an outgoing and confident person.

I see it. It's what I've been told so that's why I said it! I have no idea if I am tbh. I just want to be able to talk to people without being judged on everything.


I am shy and not confident. I understand that but I find loud people intimidating to approach. I'd rather approach someone quieter.
I never said I don't like being confident. I want to be confident but it's hard as I'm being bullied currently which has really dented it!
I wish people would be interested but I don't see that changing if no news been interested this far.

I'm trying to! It's not easy to do that.
Tbh I'd rather approach a shy person. It's easier for me tbh. Loud people will say bad things about me (they always have done).
Why do I get called ugly to my face by girls? Surely something must make them say that!

Don't worry, I've been down the bullying route plenty of times, so I understand what you're going through. It's hard to do anything about it because the people you know right now have already built up an opinion on you, and it's hard to change that. It's much easier to come across as confident in either a new environment, or an environment where it's still neutral (that is to say, people haven't built up strong opinions on each other).

What school year are you in if I may ask? Bullying is quite prevalent in younger years, so if that's the case I'm not sure what advice to give you. I just waited the bullying out until I got to A-Level. It gets MUCH easier from there, because (at least in my experience) most people just get along and its easier to appear as more confident.

Also, I never said that confident people are loud, I consider myself quite confident, but I wouldn't say I'm loud at all, quite the opposite. And sure, it may be easier to approach a person that isn't as loud, but that doesn't mean they're not confident or out-going.

It's extremely hard.

I'm at college currently and am in what would be yr13. So it's not one of the younger years! Plus everyone else is older than me. It's only gotten harder for me!

Fair enough. Not sure I've ever experienced someone like that tbh.

You got it spot on, kinda harsh but can't agree more. Pretty much the best advice you can receive OP.

Ah, college and sixth form are different environments I guess, depends on the people right? Well, you're close enough to finishing college altogether right? (Like with us year 13's going to uni). Surely you can have a fresh start once you leave

heh@ some of the bitchy advice on this thread.
OP youll just have to work with what you have, but you can improve yourself.
work on a list of areas and do what you can. Also be realistic in your aspirations.

I don't believe I am particularly attractive, maybe not ugly but I got a girlfriend probably though shared interests, personality and I guess people have said I have a good sense of style and such.

This is where you're going wrong...everyone likes nice people. Quit labelling the other guys that get girls as a**holes and quit blaming not getting girls on you being 'too nice'....

Right im gonna become a horrible mother****er and abuse the hell out of everyone!
Yeah i might do but i aint like them.
I never mentioned i wanted sex, ive no idea where you got that from? I dont even want sex that much tbh. Im ok with never having it, its not a big deal to me. I just want a really nice girl who i can spend the rest of my life with.

**** off! My personality is what i offer!

Nice guys arent horrible to women. Jerks are. You dont sound like someone that is nice to people. You sound like all the other guys i know!

No one wants to get to know me enough to see my personality though. That's another problem.
I've spoken to some people on here and we've gotten on really well!
I admit my confidence is lacking but I'm working on that (it's improved a lot over the last two months).
I do try to be all of those things you mentioned. But no ones interested in getting to know me because I'm not good looking and they can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive!

Hmm i guess so. Its just that the guys on my college course are bullying me and theyve all got girls (they dont like them though, they just want sex).
I want a nice relationship but am struggling to find someone who will actually speak to me.
But thanks for the response.
I will stop that. Its a bit immature of me.

ha ha ha ha, never mentioned sex. Dont like sex that much ha ha ha ha. Unless your asexual or have a low testosterone count - its always about the sex. Is your next line going to be "im in the friendzone"

Oh and how do you expect to have a partnerl when your ugly, low self esteem and very little personality AND your dont really want sex ever? Seriously what do you have to offer? Oh and "nice" is not something to offer.

You have strengths, everyone does, you have something to offer. But your wrapped in this idea that "women only want jerks who treat them badly" that you wont focus on them.

Am i nice? Id never describe myself as a "nice guy" because nice guys are very often jerks - they just play it from a different angle, My actions speak for me and i dont need to justify myself to you. However I have a real dislike for people like you who come out with things like this.

Why?

Because your manipulative. You know you have no confidence but instead of building yourself up - your answer is to tear others down. You see confidence and twist it to arrogance, you see self actualisation and make it into narcissism.

I am confident, i am flirty, i am outgoing, i am gregarious - I am exactly the kind of person who "nice guys" describe as jerks. I find it very easy to talk, make laugh and ask out women. If i see someone i like i let them know. I dont sit and fantasise, I ACT. People like you absolutely hate that And it always always always boils down to jealousy.

If she says no, she says no. Big deal. Plenty more fish in the sea. Hell I've been asked out and said no. It happens. Its life,

And like so many other nice guys you deal in absolutes (just like a Sith) - its either "nice" or "jerk." No middle ground. You can be confident and decent without being horrible



Thats your problem! Not theirs. Stop blaming others for your shortcomings

And the second bold is just even more of your entitlement coming through. They can hang round with anyone they want whether they find them attractive or not.

I've got a really low sex drive I think you'll find! I find other things more important. So I apologize for being different!
How can I be in the friend zone if no one will speak to me? That makes no sense.

Whoa! Hold on a second you idiot. I do have a personality which is unique (it means different!). I can provide many things to a relationship. One of them is called not being an ass towards people! No because everyone's nice aren't they. Charles Manson is a nice man isnt he. He only murdered 7 people!
Btw I never said I never wanted to have sex. I said I'd be ok if I never had it. Read before replying please!


I'm not a jerk mate! Alright! I've been called sweet by numerous girls I've been called lovely by girls. I've never been called nasty by anyone in my life!!
So I have the right to say I'm nice, seeing as everyone else has told me that!

I dislike people like you who criticise people who you don't even know!

I've got better things to be doing than responding to the rest of your nonsense anyway!

And btw. I don't sit back and watch! I make an effort to talk to girls, to get to know them, to become friends with them!!!!! I don't sit back and watch. There's no point in that!
So **** off and leave me alone.
You don't know me!

Oh you really are not coming across well are you?

Firstly technically Charles Manson is not a murderer, a murderer is someone who kills. Charles Manson never killed anyone - he indoctrinated others to do it for him.
Remember Elliot Rogers? He was a nice guy. And unlike Charles Manson he did say he was a nice guy and he was a murderer.

Your right I dont know you, in the same way you dont know me, yet think you can call me idiot because I call you on your crap. Which proves me correct far more than your raving does you.

Nonsense?, wake up and learn little boy. Everyone here (including me) has said about confidence and doing things for yourself. Your just wanted to be molly coddled and have other insecure "nice guys" coming on to validate your entitlement issues. Instead you had almost the exact opposite (who knew TSR actually comes through) reaction and you really dont like it.

Oh and when you put yourself out in threads like this you open yourself to other peoples opinions and yes criticism.

And why does it take girls and women to call you nice and sweet? Why are you so desperate for thier validation? Do it for yourself not them. Take the pussy off the pedestal and sort yourself out for you. Not anyone else,