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manipulative and sex obsessed boyfriend

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Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..


your being used and you are assiting him to do it. I especially liked the line about the amazing things he's told you. Tiy dio know uf you are lucky it will all end. If you are unluccky you will stay together and then he will dump you much later down the line.


Syop making excuses for him and fir yourself. Dump him, stay away and in x months ime find someone else.
I suggest you google 'relationships with a narcissist' and have a look at the traits, patterns, and how they match your relationship and his behaviours.
Original post by Anonymous
19


is he older than you also has he ever punched you or been violent I know you said he left marks on you why don't you just dump him? Also you are very young there is no need to waste time with him.
(edited 8 years ago)
He's the fookin psycho!!

Leave him immediately and go no contact as soon as possible xxx
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..




Awful. :frown:

His behaviour is emotionally and physically abusive. He seems to have eroded your self-esteem to such a point that you feel nobody else would want you.

He has physically hurt you, shows no regard for your feelings and is using you for his own selfish pleasure whenever he feels like it. To him, you are little more than a life support system for a vagina.

Plz leave him. :redface:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..


Please get rid of this guy, he is treating you like rubbish and using you. He only wants you when it suits him, i'd rather be single than be with someone who treats a human being like this.
Original post by Mathstatician
I suggest you google 'relationships with a narcissist' and have a look at the traits, patterns, and how they match your relationship and his behaviours.


This is what I was thinking. He might actually have some kind of personality disorder or might not. In the former case, he'd need to get professionally diagnosed before he can get meds (some personality disorders don't have any prescribed meds) and therapy. If he's really unwilling to change then just leave.
Original post by BWV1007
This is what I was thinking. He might actually have some kind of personality disorder or might not. In the former case, he'd need to get professionally diagnosed before he can get meds (some personality disorders don't have any prescribed meds) and therapy. If he's really unwilling to change then just leave.


NPD doesn't have any medicated treatment and he probably sees no reason to change right now. I was diagnosed comorbid NPD and AsPD recently so have gone through this. Probably it's in OP's best interest to leave.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..


I read the first paragraph your partner is a child, get rid


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
19


He is a narcissist, this is what they do. Judge people by their actions and their word, but if their actions contradict their words, then judge them by their words. His words are lies, he is just using you when he is lonely really. You need to find someone better to attach yourself too, so you can move away from him and get away from him. Do you count him as your best friend? You need to find a new best friend and then break up with him. PM me, as I have experience with this sort of narcissist, sub-human scum. It isn't your fault that he is treating you like this, but it is your fault for losing your other friends because of him. Being alone a better than being abused. Stop being so stupid.

Who is this other girl he has slept with?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..
he doesn't mean all those sweet things he tells you. Dump his ass or better yet get someone to beat him up !
Reply 31
Avatar for Alfed
Alfed
4
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..


You fool. Talk to you friends and family, those of which you have left because of your idiotic actions and decisions. :facepalm2:
(edited 8 years ago)
Well the obvious solution is to leave him. But I know from experience that unless they're ready, no amount of reasoning will convince someone to end an unhealthy relationship.

Your boyfriend is a lot worse than my ex, but when my ex and I finally broke up, I felt great. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. At one point, I too hated the thought of my ex moving on and being happy with someone else. But really, I dodged a bullet. I would not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who treats me badly. And in the unlikely event that he did change, I know I'd probably still be angry and bitter at how he'd treated me in the past.

You will most probably move on, trust me. Right now it feels like you'll be alone forever but that's just because you're so wrapped up in him. The world is full of interesting, good hearted guys. Like you, I was afraid I would never move on. I got tinder and found that actually, there are plenty of guys that are (at least physically) attracted to me out there and I will find someone. I wasn't ready to meet anyone from there but just having interesting conversations with these guys really helped. You don't have to get tinder but do go out there, keep yourself busy and meet new people.

I know that none of this will make you leave him but I hope you find the strength to do it sooner rather than later. Make sure your contraception game is on point because you really don't want to end up tied to this guy for life.
Reply 33
Avatar for ~Tara~
~Tara~
16
To bring some perspective, your relationship has multiple markers of domestic violence.

The isolation is a tactic to keep you there and dependent.

You deserve to be treated so much better than this. Reach out to whatever support you can to help you leave this person. It will only get worse
Original post by IAmElephant
If you're going to be that stupid then you deserve it.


Being retarded is not justification for abuse :lol:
Leave him!!!
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

We've been together for almost a year, he once cheated and is still surrounded by that girl as they're on the same course and in the same friend group, he's very hot and cold - "i want to marry you" a day later I'm single, everything always goes back to sex, if i don't fancy sex he's moody and thinks there is an issue and that he looks like a mug if i turn him down, i lost a lot of my friends because they think he's treating me badly and that he doesn't treat me how you'd treat a girlfriend in the slightest.

I'm with him because I've had some great times with him, he told me some amazing things like that he wants me forever, but at the same time he can snap at me for anything, won't apologise, left loads of physical marks on me..

he will do things behind my back, like book festivals or lads holidays without telling me or even putting it by me to see how i feel about it, I'm not invited to anything but the girl he cheated on me with is. I've brought up feeling upset but he doesn't think i have the right and calls me a psycho.

when he dumps me i always run back, apologise, cry and beg. but the past 3 weeks i felt so drained, i wouldn't even want to kiss him because i could just think of how badly he treats me. but then on the other hand he will tell me how he wants me forever, how prefect i am etc.. so i stay because my brain tells me he's good for me and if I'm too picky ill just end up by myself.

i need advice on what to do. as it stands he is kicking off because i brought up feeling upset that he's going to this festival 2 days after our anniversary so we aren't doing anything because his money is going on that..


wat, wat, this is the sign you should leave, clearly not boyfriend material if they leave marks on you and treat you like that

why why why? you're not wrong so why're you apologizing?

no sorry but your brain is wrong this time he's not good for you
The fact that you've posted this, suggests to me that you know that what he's doing is wrong. I think you know what you really should do.
i found something that suggests he is cheating on me with a girl that liked him and tried to get with him before, and after i approached him about it he started shouting how if i don't stop crying i may as well just leave his house and leave him alone and how it is all my fault anyway and that I'm so boring and insecure. he broke up with me and i feel awful. i feel sad that i feel like I've been cheated on, that I'm being bashed by someone i thought highly of and that I'm just hearing how the girl is so much more attractive than me and how he's better off without me and that i have no right to be hurt.

my friends said i should leave immediately but i continued believing him that nothing happened, and now i feel like such a mug. he doesn't care and i can't move on no matter how badly he treats me and I'm so lost on what to do..
Original post by Anonymous
i found something that suggests he is cheating on me with a girl that liked him and tried to get with him before, and after i approached him about it he started shouting how if i don't stop crying i may as well just leave his house and leave him alone and how it is all my fault anyway and that I'm so boring and insecure. he broke up with me and i feel awful. i feel sad that i feel like I've been cheated on, that I'm being bashed by someone i thought highly of and that I'm just hearing how the girl is so much more attractive than me and how he's better off without me and that i have no right to be hurt.

my friends said i should leave immediately but i continued believing him that nothing happened, and now i feel like such a mug. he doesn't care and i can't move on no matter how badly he treats me and I'm so lost on what to do..


Yes you can. You become what you believe yourself to be. Just tell yourself that you can leave. You just have to get away from him and you can talk to me if you'd like.
Do you have a place to stay in after leaving his house?

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