The Student Room Group

If your parents didn't like your bf/gf, would you leave them?

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Loool no, every time my parents have tried to interfere "for the best" in my life they done ****ed things up.
My dad has actually told me that he doesn't approve of my boyfriend and that he's not good enough for me :s (Due to the fact that my boyfriend has a chronic illness and is repeating a year due to a lot of time off ill- my dad just thinks he is lazy). But I've not broken up with my boyfriend- I'm just hoping that as they get to know each other more, my dad will either like him more, or at least appreciate the fact that I love him and that he is good enough for me.
My mum expressed a dislike for my bf about 6 months into our relationship, but I stayed with him for another year and a half anyway. Tbh she was right, he was a manipulative idiot and I wish I'd ended it earlier. But clearly, I do not care whether my parents like them or not!
Reply 23
Couldn't care less what my parents thought of my partners. I only seem them twice a year anyway whereas the partner is a daily occurrence :wink:
My parents loathed my boyfriend. I married him. They still loathe him. Hey ho.
Reply 25
Original post by tilray
Just wondering what people's opinions on this is...

Is it important to you that your family gets on with your partner?
Or would you not give two hoots if they didn't like him/her?


Meh, I don't usually listen to my parents so why start now?
Reply 26
No I wouldn't leave the girl. Because you don't choose who you fall in love with and they're not gonna live with her anyway, they'd only see her from time to time. But I'd probably wonder if I'm with the right person.
Original post by tilray
Just wondering what people's opinions on this is...

Is it important to you that your family gets on with your partner?
Or would you not give two hoots if they didn't like him/her?


Usually, parents want all the best for their kids, most of them will just accept your partner but some parents will not.

Parents' decision shouldn't affect you and the person you want to be with. It's your life.

However, your parents are older. Do consider they have more experience than you so they might want to stop you from something you don't yet understand.

Posted from TSR Mobile
My parents hated my husband from the moment they first met. I didn't care though. They couldn't even give me a reason why they hate him so I just ignored their opinion.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 29
I would like to think my parents have enough respect for me and my autonomy to reserve their personal opinions on who I am with unless there is a serious problem like he is rude and unpleasant to them in which case it's he who I would have the problem with, not them. If they really have an issue with who he is I have respect for their opinions and would listen but at the end of the day its my choice. I'm pretty confident they would like whoever I end up with anyway.
I had a girlfriend who was really nice at first but after about 2 years become stupidly obnoxious. I had started to get sick of her myself but she was often incredibly rude to my parents, not in things that she said but in the way that she acted. For example one year she was supposed to come round on Christmas Eve and join in the family tradition of having a takeaway and watching Die Hard and some other films. She planned to go out early for a few quiet drinks with friends and get dropped off but didn't show up til like 10pm and then just walked straight in and went up to my room without even saying hello and eventually (And reluctantly) sat with us in a stroppy mood. Things like this became common occurrence and eventually my parents stopped pretending that it didn't bother them. It also bothered me that they basically despised my girlfriend.

Eventually when I came to break up with her the fact she seemed to hate my parents (For literally no reason as they had always been so nice to her until she started acting weird) and that my parents disliked her so much was definitely a big factor in my decision. At the end of the day I am very family orientated and I get on with my immediate family very well. For others it might not matter at all.
No, obvs I'd try to get them to like her but but at the end of the day I'll date who I want and if it goes to ****, then it'll be a learning experience
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 32
I think my OH has enough legit reasons to dislike my parents it would probably make it easier for him because he wouldn't have to pretend everything was fine for my happiness (yes I feel selfish so I try to limit their shared time).

Their opinion wouldn't make me change my mind about a partner. Not one bit
Original post by queen-bee
That's a tough one. My parents have already passed away but if they were alive then I'd try to get the two sides to sort out their differences I guess :dontknow:


Sorry for your loss queenie :frown:

Original post by Hydeman
:moon:


Sounds rough man :console:
Do you still live with them?

TSR gets deep after midnight
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Zargabaath
Sounds rough man :console:
Do you still live with them?


I live with my mother, yes. :3 Thanks, though. :hugs:

TSR gets deep after midnight


Deep > creepy (which is also inevitable after midnight). :lol:
Original post by Hydeman
I live with my mother, yes. :3 Thanks, though. :hugs:


Ah you planning on moving out for uni then? Assuming you're going?

Original post by Hydeman
Deep > creepy (which is also inevitable after midnight). :lol:


Idk the creepy threads are usually the most entertaining :laugh:
They need to convince me why they are not pleased with my choice. Anyway, my parents won't really say no unless it's a big thing. However for the sake of the q if I had to choose between my parents and my man then parents coz family over everything!
Original post by Zargabaath
Ah you planning on moving out for uni then? Assuming you're going?


Yes, I do plan on going, but I do hope to move out before then.


Idk the creepy threads are usually the most entertaining :laugh:


To each their own. :lol:
Original post by Hydeman
Yes, I do plan on going, but I do hope to move out before then.


How long do you have before you start (ideally)?

I have to ask tho, is it a clashing of lifestyles/feeling smothered, or is it like an abusive type thing because if it's the latter you really should try and get help asap, instead of waiting till you're old enough to get your own place.
Original post by Zargabaath
How long do you have before you start (ideally)?


I have two offers to start in 2016 but I'll be declining them and re-applying for 2017 entry, so about a year and a half. :3

I have to ask tho, is it a clashing of lifestyles/feeling smothered, or is it like an abusive type thing because if it's the latter you really should try and get help asap, instead of waiting till you're old enough to get your own place.


Honestly? Both, but there's no help to be had, I don't think. In any case, this one of those things where I don't believe a long-term compromise to be possible, and any break from the present moribundity will have to be on my own initiative. It's either full independence, or I continue to limp on as I am. Such is life and its moral dilemmas, I suppose. :beard:
(edited 8 years ago)

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