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Did I do the right thing? (Friends with benefits)

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    • Thread Starter

    There is a guy who i've liked for over 3 months now, and who I hooked up with one night about 2 months ago.
    He's always maintained that he doesn't want a relationship with me because he's moving back to his home country in June, and doesn't want to get into anything serious as a result.

    I had really strong feelings for him and thought I was in love at one point. He told me back then that he liked me ,would have liked to go out with me etc. but didn't want to get into a relationship.

    Then I noticed he was trying to keep a distance, and he then told our mutual friend that he only saw me as a friend.
    He has always made very clear he finds me attractive and would like to sleep with me again, and since I really fancied him, I wanted to as well. We ended up talking about it and he wanted to see each other casually, but he didn't want me to get hurt, knew i'd said I'd wanted a relationship etc.

    But I tried to tell myself it would be alright, and that I knew he was leaving soon anyway etc. so I agreed to it.
    So we said we would meet up sometime, and then I was supposed to go round to his, but he ended up getting ill for a few days.
    then afterwards he asked me if I still wanted to go , but I realised that while I did want to , I didn't want it to happen like that.
    I mean I had tried to tell myself I could do that ,but I knew I really liked him and I'd just end up feeling hurt after. He totally understood, and luckily it's not awkward now.

    Have I done the right thing? I just knew it wouldn't make me happy really, because I know the thing I want with him really is a relationship. Do you think he actually has any feelings for me or just wanted one thing? We talk pretty much every day, about all kinds of stuff, and we have become really good friends.. I just knew id regret doing that.

    In my eyes you did the right thing, you didnt want to get hurt and in his situation he understood too.
    Try not to worry about it, it was the right choice
    • Thread Starter

    Thank you I just knew I wouldn't feel very good about myself afterwards, because deep down I know I want a relationship with him...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you I just knew I wouldn't feel very good about myself afterwards, because deep down I know I want a relationship with him...
    Yeah I understand you, its going to be hard to deal with the fact you wont be able to have a relationship with him as he's going back to his home country. Time heals all wounds OP, you'll feel better soon

    Yeah I agree, you definitely did the right thing. It would only make you feel even more attached to him
    • Thread Starter

    Thanks for the replies In fairness he was very honest about that and he did want to check that I wouldn't get attached to him, it wouldn't hurt me etc.
    I suppose I don't really know if he actually would have liked to have a relationship with me or he just didn't like me in that way at all, only physical attraction..

    Problem with a friends with benefits arrangement usually someone does get feelings in the end so yeah you did the right thing.
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