Original post by Spock's SocksI've been quite quiet about how therapy for OCD and everything is going but I feel I need to be honest now about how I feel about it.
I've been going to her since January and was an urgent referral from my GP so I didn't wait too long which was good and I was told that I should get an appointment at least every week because I was in a bad way which I wont go into but the therapist said she thinks just once a fortnight will do. Fair enough but I've only saw her once a fortnight at a max of 3 times. The rest of the time there has been a waiting gap of between 3 to 6 weeks between appointments. I have no other help bar her. I can't take meds due to my OCD contamination fears and my OCD was and still is crippling so I couldn't just man up and take a pill so it was therapy and self help, nothing more.
She cancels a lot of the time an hour or 2 before my appointment and there is no back up for me to visit if she is off, so that is an extra 2 or 3 weeks to see her again. If I cancelled as much as her, I would have been struck off the patient list.Therapy is a place you talk. You talk about big and major things. Well get this...apparently I talk too much! She would be moaning if I didn't talk at all! She has even admitted that she doesn't think her type of mindfulness based therapy will help me. Yeah, that made me feel brilliant to hear that just a few sessions in. I shouldn't feel the need to dull myself down at therapy. Everything I talk about there is relevant - things that happened in the past, my OCD fears, what triggers me etc - not random things like what I had to eat 3 days ago.
I don't want to sound like an arrogant bitch here but I am proud of what I have done in regards to making myself better through my conditions, well she said what I have done hasn't really helped me much. I was housebound for 6 months, couldn't even make it to my bins. I forced myself out of that. I made my challenge chart and look at me now 2/3 years on, I can go everywhere now, rarely have panic attack setbacks. If you have never had panics or been agoraphobic then you wouldn't believe how hard it is to climb up from being scared of going out your front door to building up to going out alone, going to town and all that. I am proud of that. I got myself out of that with help from family and friends and nothing more and she shot that down. The one thing in life that I am truly proud of, she belittled. I have confidence now that I never had all my life and she thinks what I done was useless?!
This isn't a dig at the NHS. I love the NHS, I think I just got the wrong therapist. I don't know what to do about it. I have mentioned it to my GP and she says to talk to the therapist about it but how awkward would that be?! I don't know whether I am justified in feeling how I feel about it or I am overreacting and should just grin and bear it.
If anyone has any advice or been in a similar situation with therapy please let me know.