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Serious Depression+Potentially Failing AS levels+Redoing year

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TSR's new app is coming! Sign up here to try it first >> 17-10-2016
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    A few weeks ago I made the biggest regret in my life. I chose to shave off my hair. I thought it would look good and help me to concentrate fully on my studies, I've had a history of insecurity and I thought I would just shave off my problems, maybe look like an army boy. I look absolutely pathetic and (I'm not exaggerating) the ugliest kid at school. I look about 5 years younger. My hair represented me. Most of my friends didn't even recognize me. I have never felt so insecure in my life. I went mental, I was crying, shaking, waking up in the night. This isn't an over reaction for me. I used to feel insecure and after trying many styles for many years I felt I had finally found one that looked good on me and my insecurity was starting to disappear. This is the reason it felt like the end of the world. I would wake up in the middle of the night and wake my parents up and sleep with them. All my maturity just disappeared. I was in a hopeless situation. It would take at least 6 months for my hair to look good, meanwhile I would look like a rat. I don't have many friends as it is. This really wasn't going to help me socially.
    I'm still in a state. Not as bad. But I'm still not me. I haven't done any work in two weeks. Literally nothing. I haven't been revising or working at school. We're in the final few weeks before AS exams and I'm being teased, I have been not coming to school every other day and I have about a fifth of my full concentration potential doing practice papers. I can't think straight.
    There's no way I see this situation going away any time soon. I felt like committing suicide, I felt like staying in bed for 6 months. Please don't say grow up. For me this situation is a lot more profound than that. I'm a very special case in this manner.
    Anyway, if I continue like this, which is likely, I WILL fail my AS levels. I had everything going for me. I got 10 A*s at GCSE, I want to study medicine, I had the personality for it, the intelligence. Now I'm broken. I'm not acting the same, I look like a different person, all my self confidence is gone. My teachers now think I'm weak. My form tutor who has to write my reference thinks I'm immature and weak. My life is being ruined.

    I feel like I'm going to have to drop out and resit the year. I've been seriously seriously depressed. I don't talk to anyone, I have no spark anymore. I'm not living. I'm just existing, doing no work, talking to no one, ruining my reputation.
    I've seen a counsellor but it didnt' really help.

    Will I have to move school? Will other schools accept me to redo year 12 considering my GCSEs were so good? Will medical schools accept the fact I've redone year 12 knowing it was caused by extreme depression (it truly is depression by the way, I can't get to sleep, I can't wake up, I can't think, I even hope not to wake up in the morning, this isn't a case of 'it will grow back'). Can I still apply to Cambridge? Can I go to a new school and start a new life. My life is so special. This was never meant to happen to me!!!!

    Talk to your teacher or parents and make sure they know how you feel. You could also talk to your GP, Childline 0800 1111 or a counselor. It will take more than a few visits. Its normal to get stressed before exams, its normal to hit difficulties. What you need to do on conjunction with those advising you (teachers and parents) is decide if its affected you so much you are in no state to do the exams. In that case stop imo and redo the year. There is no point failing A levels and you only get to sit them first, once.

    You should check on the medical thread though for advice from medical students, because they are keen for you to have taken your A levels in a 2 year period, so youd still be able to meet that criteria.. Get the depression diagnosed and then get it under control.

    Your hair will grow back, people lose their hair all the time and it grows back. Three months and id imagine it would start to look fine again, just short.

    (Original post by Cyan Ink)
    Hi, This was never meant to happen to me!!!!
    My dear, though I can't fully relate to you as I haven't shaved my hair off before- at this moment your exams need to be your first priority. If it means your parents writing a letter to your school to explain why you may need to wear a hat at all times, even during lessons so be it. At this point, you've come so far so letting this overrule you would be sad. If you want a complete fresh start, you can repeat your year and still get into Cambridge or Oxford. I know people who have done so but they didn't study medicine however had explained their personal reasons to the university when applying. You have good GCSEs which is even better. If you do decide to repeat your year, try to ensure you work harder and get better grades than your first attempt. If you're doing completely new A levels, your school may even allow you to continue onto A2 even with EUU as your exams would all be in 2017 next summer. If you decide this route, it would mean your predicted grades would be quite low which can limit your options when applying to university in year 13. Or you could apply after you've finished your A levels and have your final grades but it would mean you'd be taking a gap year afterwards, A gap year can be a major advantages- especially for medicine. For medicine they most likely would prefer this than you repeating your year as I read in certain threads universities don't want applicants who have taken A levels for more than two years for medicine. If you take the gap year route, they most likely won't know your AS grades as all of your exams would be in year 13 so if you had EUU in new subjects but got AAA in A2, that EUU are mock grades therefore do not count. If you're doing old a levels, the case is quite different.

    Resitting a year isn't that bad though. I have resat a year and it was the best decision of my life.

    Hey, i've removed your other thread as a duplicate but will reply here and bump it a bit for you.

    It's not the end of the world if you have to resit at all. It might limit where you can apply to medicine a little bit but with extenuating circumstances (which you have) most will still consider you, especially if your GCSEs, UKCAT etc are good. You're better off posting in the medicine forum for better info on this though as I don't really know a lot about it!

    Have you seen your GP about all this yet? They can do a lot to help, and you'll need to have seen them if you ever need evidence of depression etc for anything as well. Your school would also be good to speak to and advise you of your options- you might be able to stay there to redo the year, or move elsewhere. Most places should accept you, you're clearly bright enough! In The mean time do as well as you can in these exams but don't sacrifice your health for them, trust when I say it's really not worth it.
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