LGBT people: how did you come out to your friends and parents and how did they react?

Anonymous #1

I'm nervous about coming out to mine, and would appreciate hearing other's stories.

Thanks in advance.

I only told my parents that I'm bi because I was dating a girl and she was my date to a wedding, and figured if family checked my FB there might be pictures that would raise questions. My family are very homophobic and I just blurted it out to be honest, put my best confident face on and said "oh by the way, I'm dating a girl, she's called Vicky and she'll be coming to the wedding with me"; my Dad seemed disappointed but has never brought it up since, I also haven't heard any homophobic remarks since either, my brother asked me how long I'd known and I said "over 10 years" and he just replied with "oh okay", and my Mother predictably acted like a crazy person and started screaming that she "just does not understand!" etc, but I never got along with my mother particularly well anyway.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by RachaelBee

Thanks for responding :smile:

. I also think that I may only tell my parents when I'm dating someone and they need to know, although maybe I should prepare them first. Were you living away from home at the time?

I came out to those I knew would be supportive first. I approached my sister and a close friend who both supported LGBT+ lifestyles and they were very supportive. I later used the confidence I gained from that to come out to my college. My college was also very accepting. I have overheard a few negative comments from some people (which I simply ignored because I didn't expect this particular group to be understanding) but on the whole, it was great. I had people actively acting questions and being respectful, and although my personal identity has changed since that time (transman to genderless) I've felt really comfortable and supported.

I did have some issues coming out to my immediate older brother, but that was more of a combination of picking a stressful time on his part and one of my friends acting up right next to me at the time I was trying to tell him.

If you're trying to come out, make sure you gauge what their responses will be by asking them (either openly or covertly) about their views on LGBT+. In my case I also printed out some research on gender I'd gotten and suggested my personal coach hand them out so everyone could be on the same page. If you feel any of them may be unsupportive, or might out you before you have a chance to inform people when you're ready, you don't have to tell them. I wasn't there in person when she informed the class of my identity (health issues), but apparently there were many remarks along the lines of "that's really brave".

Also, and I'm not saying this will happen to you, if you believe your family may react either violently or by kicking you out, don't tell them until you're financially independent or have a back-up plan for where to stay. Also look at what questions they may ask. It will help you respond to them and make you feel a lot more confident on the day(s).

Good luck!

Reply 6

RachaelBee

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for responding :smile:

. I also think that I may only tell my parents when I'm dating someone and they need to know, although maybe I should prepare them first. Were you living away from home at the time?

Yeah, my Mother kicked me out of the house when I was 16 so even though I knew she'd kick off I wasn't too bothered, although I was still close to my Dad.

Reply 7

Moonstruck16

Family don't know.

Told my best friend then my next closest friends.
Stopped carimg after that. I don't come out to people anymore because all the people I want to tell myself know.

Everyone was fine.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

I'm still in the process of telling people. I come from a muslim background but I'm probably an agnostic myself and I'm bisexual. I came out to my two closest friends and my cousin, I want to come out to more people but I'm just not ready for that right now. Everyone so far has been so supportive and it feels like a huge lift off my shoulder. I am trying to get more comfortable with telling them about my girl crushes but I'm still so awkward about it. I don't think I would tell my parents just because they wouldn't understand.

Reply 9

Anonymous #5

I called my mum before school one day and told her. She told my dad and its been chill, its just not talked about, not so much because they're not okay with it but more because i don't want to talk to them about it and they get that

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I told mine quite recently - they seemed pretty shocked as I think you have to consider that they may have never thought about it in their life - but they are slowly coming around and everything seemingly returned to normality after a week or two... you will feel better for it but it will be hella nervous in the moment you tell them... Just be confident and show that you are happy this way, if they see you emotional and maybe upset its probably not the right time for you - just find a good time to do it!

Don't make it sound like you feel like you need to tell them - more so that you want to...!QUOTE]

I'm pleased for you that they are coming around, I really hope that my family will too. Were you living away when you came out? I'm planning on waiting until I go to university to tell my parents. Thanks for your advice, I hope things go well for you in the future.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

I'm pleased for you that they are coming around, I really hope that my family will too. Were you living away when you came out? I'm planning on waiting until I go to university to tell my parents. Thanks for your advice, I hope things go well for you in the future.

I am going to university in October - I thought it was best to tell them before I went as its a short amount of time if to deal with it if they didn't accept and I would also go to university in a comfortable frame of mind... I did however tell them I was in a relationship with someone as I didn't think just straight up telling them my sexuality was how I wanted to do it - but getting it off your chest will be so much easier for you and your head... just whatever feels right for you!

You will honestly be fine - its ok to be nervous but at the end of the day you are living for yourself and you need to put your happiness and enjoyment first (if they are sensible people they will come around and see you are happy (what all parents should want for their kids)) :-)