Basically, I wouldn't call myself bright or anything, but my target grades are okay... And i think i'm doing fairly average. However to my family i'm doing soooooo "well" but I don;t think I am. Esp with the distractions i'm facing. I really hate the fact that my family think i'm 'clever'. It really puts me on edge. When I wake up I think GCSE and when I sleep I think GCSE. i'm ALWAYS PROCRASTINATING.
And the more I do so.... the more bad I feel... because if I fail... (basically if I get below a B)
Then I feel I've let myself and family down.
My dad has really high expectations of me, he really pushed me, sometimes to the point where he goes telling relatives about my accomplishment... and that just adds to the pressure. I don't know what background you come from, but I really don;t want to let my parent's down... they've doen everything for me...
but I also feel like i'm being cursed because I really do believe that bad luck people wish on you can become true.
And I'm not gonna lie, the 'outsiders' of my family... who think i'm clever and bladidah... on results day they're expecting so much from me, if I do badly it'll ruin my family name... and gossip from other families and 'nazar' and I ... I don;t know.
I'm half dead... like i'm really tired... but i'm just speaking my mind..
I'm stressed, pressured,,
and another thing... my family love comparing me to my cousins and relatives in the same year.... yup. My closest cousin, well she's bright... but in other ways. I truly believe intelligence doesn't have to be all academic... because she is really intelligent in her own way,, but schoolwise...she's trying her hardest. BUT she has it worse... like all she gets is degraded... by her parents.... and compared to me, little remarks from outside relatives... and sometimes,, i feel like it's my fault... I don;t even know why.
this is really hard
I mean... i could easily give it a best shot
but my family drama is like some eastenders plot.
I'm sleep typing now, bye. Night all xoxox :/
I come from an asian family. Is 'black magic' a thing?
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