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Are female bullies worse than male bullies?

I currently have a problem with a female bully at work who is really getting me down. I'm trying to leave and find something else. It makes me remember the past bullying i have had to put up with. The bullying i have gotten from women has been 10 times worse than the bullying i have gotten from men.

Yeah bullying is terrible from either sex, but reflecting on bulling from other men there's always some massive argument or fight and then after nobody cares anymore; either just attempting to get along again, not talking to each other or just making friends again, plus everything is much more direct. There's less likely to be a ton of gossip when it comes to a group of guys. Today i can usually deal with attempts by another guy to bully me. It's all usually direct.

With bullying from women there's more indirect **** going on, the gossip always flows (being a guy i just don't get gossip), the attempts to destroy everything you have (get you sacked, ruin your career, give you a bad name) and women never forget. A grudge can last for years and years and years. Often enough it has started by a female coworker being friendly towards you then absolutely bitch about you behind you back when you've gone.
Bullies used to be victims of bullies themselves. There is no other explanation of such behaviour. The fact you're posting a thread about this means the bullies "are winning" - they want to drag you down and make you feel like a pile of dung. If you have to leave and get another job because of one toxic person in the workplace, fine.
Workplace bullying is the worst sort because it uses an existing power structure to leverage the bully into a position of power. With normal bullying in the social setting at least the bully has done the legwork, or is naturally dominant enough, to get himself into a position where he can bully.

And yes women are worse bullies than men, mainly because it's harder to put your finger on what they're doing and it sounds petty if you complain about it. Although men also subtly one-up or bitch about each other (my workplace is basically 100% male), there are spots they can hit that women never could because of the implied hierarchy.
Go to the manager fast.
Otherwise, fight back.
Otherwise, leave.

You will be surprised what kind of monster lives inside you once you mobilise it. I recommend not letting it loose and choosing the peaceful ways.
(edited 7 years ago)
And to answer the question directly: there's a reason that in darker times burning at the stake was a punishment used exclusively for women. They are capable of much more devastation than men.
(edited 7 years ago)
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Make sure you tell someone about this, especially your manager. It's so wrong that you're feeling the need to quit your job because of a nasty individual. Other women can be so b*tchy, especially when they come together in their pathetic little packs. Really hope you're doing ok. Don't keep it all bottled up. Maybe bullies are so insecure about themselves they need to take it out on others x
It depends... I think both sexes can be bad and whoever is more calculated the effects of which are insidious I think that's definitely worse than any loud argument or insult because at least then there's concrete evidence they're behaving horribly... With the former it just eats away and really there's no way to deal with it but cutting them out of your life completely.
Bullies don't exist, only people with victim complexes.

Oh no wait, they do. I was just forgetting since that's what bullies say when you confront their behaviour :h:

I think it's a pretty hard question to answer and it depends what sex the person being bullied is.
What kind of bullying does she do?
They can be. I tend to find that female bullies will do emotional damage which can stick with you.

And if they were to physically attack you and you're male, you'd not be able to defend yourself.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I currently have a problem with a female bully at work who is really getting me down. I'm trying to leave and find something else. It makes me remember the past bullying i have had to put up with. The bullying i have gotten from women has been 10 times worse than the bullying i have gotten from men.

Yeah bullying is terrible from either sex, but reflecting on bulling from other men there's always some massive argument or fight and then after nobody cares anymore; either just attempting to get along again, not talking to each other or just making friends again, plus everything is much more direct. There's less likely to be a ton of gossip when it comes to a group of guys. Today i can usually deal with attempts by another guy to bully me. It's all usually direct.

With bullying from women there's more indirect **** going on, the gossip always flows (being a guy i just don't get gossip), the attempts to destroy everything you have (get you sacked, ruin your career, give you a bad name) and women never forget. A grudge can last for years and years and years. Often enough it has started by a female coworker being friendly towards you then absolutely bitch about you behind you back when you've gone.



Bullying at work needs to have more public awareness.
It's an epidemic.



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3319812/Bullying-work-rise-Helpline-said-received-20-000-calls-employees-year-saying-considered-suicide.html

[video="youtube;B6y9kCUX7dY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6y9kCUX7dY[/video]


I don't think there's a difference. Men can bullying out of insecurity, this is the same emotion that makes women bully other women. Jealousy and control is the driver.
(edited 7 years ago)
If you're getting bullied don't let it get to you head. Why should you care about what they think about you? If you don't care their attempts can seem futile and even humorous to you. Good luck!
id say female bullies are more verbally abusive and manipulative than male bullies but male bullies are worse physically (strength, more willing to physically attack you)

what kind of stuff is this woman doing to you and how are you finding out about it if its behind your back? depending on how shes going about it you can record her or keep a log of these instances or ask a co worker whos letting you know about it if they'll record her/back you up going to her manager about it. Even if shes higher up than you or directly your boss there will almost always be someone higher up in the organisation who she answers to and will be in trouble with
For me, yes. It's far less likely to be physical and can be a lot harder to pick up on, by which stage a lot of damage has been done. Things like the little comments going on to your face and behind your back all build up to something much bigger and really hard to get rid of those things.

Assuming she's not them, speak to your manager! Hope you manage to get it sorted either way and don't have to leave.


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Answering the thread title:

Nope. Just compare men's and women's prisons.
Reply 15
Original post by ClickItBack
Answering the thread title:

Nope. Just compare men's and women's prisons.


First rule is not to accept any favors for that will be used as the debt owed.
Original post by Anonymous
I currently have a problem with a female bully at work who is really getting me down. I'm trying to leave and find something else. It makes me remember the past bullying i have had to put up with. The bullying i have gotten from women has been 10 times worse than the bullying i have gotten from men.

Yeah bullying is terrible from either sex, but reflecting on bulling from other men there's always some massive argument or fight and then after nobody cares anymore; either just attempting to get along again, not talking to each other or just making friends again, plus everything is much more direct. There's less likely to be a ton of gossip when it comes to a group of guys. Today i can usually deal with attempts by another guy to bully me. It's all usually direct.

With bullying from women there's more indirect **** going on, the gossip always flows (being a guy i just don't get gossip), the attempts to destroy everything you have (get you sacked, ruin your career, give you a bad name) and women never forget. A grudge can last for years and years and years. Often enough it has started by a female coworker being friendly towards you then absolutely bitch about you behind you back when you've gone.


It's simple you kill all the women and men talking bs about you :colonhash:
Original post by furryface12
For me, yes. It's far less likely to be physical and can be a lot harder to pick up on, by which stage a lot of damage has been done. Things like the little comments going on to your face and behind your back all build up to something much bigger and really hard to get rid of those things.

Assuming she's not them, speak to your manager! Hope you manage to get it sorted either way and don't have to leave.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Thats what i plan to do on Monday. It's so depressing. I sometimes wish i worked in a traditionally make job with a male team. At least the bitchiness, indirect bullying, and gossip culture is less likely to be there. It's hard to hold your head up high when nobody seems to have your side.


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