I feel so horrific it's scary. Since I moved in here about 7 weeks ago, I have felt so low and aimless and every day seems like even *more* of a struggle than usual (which honestly, I didn't think was possible, given I didn't function at uni either). Physically I feel horrendous. My sleep is dreadful, but even when I'm getting 7/8 hours I wake up feeling like I've been run over (and that continues through the day). I feel bored and aimless, but without anything in me to actually change anything/try and add meaning in my life. I am having so many horrific days that I could never commit to anything. I cant put my finger on it. I just can't. I am very driven and determined and always try and grit my teeth, even though I always feel low, and sometimes awfully so. My anxiety is worse and I cant leave the house alone, and even if I do get out, I feel like I want to cry/run away/struggle to even put one foot in front of the other. I don't think this is purely depression. I have been severely depressed to the point where I cant move a limb/sit up in bed/brush my hair/anything, and still not felt this bleak about life. I don't understand. I am not making meals or doing my laundry or doing anything and I just cant find it within myself to push through or force it. I feel a shadow of myself. I don't think this is a good environment for me, but I don't have the strength or energy to move out. I don't even know what I am saying and it's all muddled but maybe that's a good representation of my muddled, hideous, pain consumed mind. I just cant keep doing this.