Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Relationships after uni

Announcements Posted on
TSR's new app is coming! Sign up here to try it first >> 17-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    Hi, I am 22 and in my postgrad year at uni. This year I started my first ever relationship in November, and we have now been together for nearly 6 months. I know this isn't an uncommon problem, but I am beginning to worry about what we are going to do after university. He has made subtle hints such as 'when you get your own place' and he has also made references to when he will be back home, which would suggest that moving in together would not be on his mind.
    I do understand this and realise that since we have not been together for a year it may be deemed as too fast paced to move in. The issue, however is that we are about 3 hours away from each other; in comparison to many people I know this isn't long, but I do believe that you have to be 'willing' to make the effort for it to work.
    I myself am willing, I wouldn't be worrying so much otherwise! However I have these horrible doubts in my head that they will go back home and get on with their own life and simply forget I ever existed.
    Just recently they have gone home for the holidays, they have been busy messaging me, but I am already feeling quite down and missing their company, I am sort of wondering how I would be able to deal with it when we are permanently that distanced, particularly as we haven't even been together for a year yet so they may feel it is simply 'not worth it'.
    I feel as though I am going to have say something to try and gage what their intentions are after uni, but I don't really know when would be the right time to do it, and I am scared I will feel hurt.
    I still have 4 months left at uni with him, and I feel a lot can change for better or worse within that time period, so it may seem odd to be worrying about it now, but I can't get it off my mind and I don't know how to approach it!

    You have concerns, so you should talk to him. If the relationship is relatively healthy, then it shoul be fine. he might not have thought about it much considering its exam season. rather than have it on your mind though you could have a quick chat to see how things lie and how you might cope with ldr if at all. Its reasonable to ask that imo. It might be a bit much though to think you are going to mve in together, but you can see what he feels about things.. LDRs are difficult , but not impossible, but they do need an end game so they dont just fizzle out.

    Just talk about it naturally, without pressure and on a practical level. Nothing wrong with finding out where you stand and what might happen in future. At least you will have broken the ice. Do be prepared for the various outcomes, but its better to know imo.

    His signals are a pretty clear indication of his current expectations, but these may change.
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: April 26, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Do you like sleeping in a cold room?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.