How to stop self-harming?

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Thank you so much and I'm glad you're recovering.
In all honestly I feel so stupid for having ever started it at all. The first time I did it, I scratched myself a bit because I just felt a bit shitty and I'd had a bad day - it was really nothing serious and nothing that warranted doing it. And now it's just a clutch and I keep coming back to it. What a silly thing - it could so easily have been prevented

Things like this have a nasty way of sneaking up on you. Easy to fall into, not so easy to get back out again. You never realise it when it's so easy to prevent and to be honest, it seems easier than it is even at the early stages. Loads of people in the same situation as you. It's not stupid at all.
You're a strong person to be able to stand going through anything like this. Remember that :smile:

Reply 21

~Tara~

Hey, well done on making it a whole week. That's awesome!

Relapse is par for the course in recovery. All you need to do with it is think about what lead you to that point and how you might look after yourself next time.

Maybe anger was building up (as example) so what non-harming ways could you release that anger? I've punched pillows, thrown teddies, smashed plates (in controlled area), screamed into a pillow, stamped my foot.

You know, we're not built to be still with our emotions. I find the ways that express anger more physically -even if it's exercise, they have a bigger calming and positive effect than those that keep me restricted and still.

Reply 22

username1884577

I just want to add, you're not stupid for self harming. There is no reason to hate yourself for starting it or relapsing. Relapsing does not put you back to square one - it's going to happen, but not giving up in your recovery shows how strong you are. You are trying your best and that is amazing. I promise you, from first hand experience, you will get there.

You are worth far more than you believe. Chin up sweetie x

One week clean!

Original post by Anonymous

One week clean!

Aww bless you :hugs:

goodluck x
hoping to follow your example :yes:

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Aww bless you :hugs:

goodluck x
hoping to follow your example :yes:

you can do this!

the main thing that helped me was seeing how much my scars had faded from last week, and knowing that i didn't want them looking the way they did last week. and also that if one week could make them disappear so quickly then who knows what one month or even one year could do.

i believe in you - keep on going!

Reply 26

username1884577

Original post by Anonymous

One week clean!

Proud of you, you can do this :h:

Reply 27

hannahcp93

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you so much everyone. I went a whole week without self-harming and my arm was really healing very well - I could go to my friend's birthday party with a short sleeve top and no one noticed a thing. But earlier today I got really bad again and went a bit overboard and I've undone all week's worth of healing. I hate myself so much but I really hope next week will be different. I need to try harder to stop.

WELL DONE!!! You should feel really proud of yourself for managing a week without self harm. It just goes to prove that you CAN cope without it. And it's ok that you ended up self harming again. These slip ups are inevitable and an important part of recovery. Unfortunately, recovery isn't quick and easy. It's often a case of 2 step forwards and one step back. But you need those backward steps and those slip ups to learn from. So don't beat yourself up over it. There will be future occasions where you slip up again but this is just a realistic view of what recovery is. If you start putting in other strategies and coping mechanisms in, you'll gradually find the need to self harm reduces. And the pros of not self harming will strengthen your commitment to not self harming. Like you found during that week, you were able to wear a short sleeved top and no one noticed. So there is no reason that you won't be able to wear the beautiful prom dress without worrying about visible scars. Have you got a dress already? Maybe print off a photo of the dress so that when you have the urge to self harm, you can look at the picture and it can be a physical reminder for you not to self harm.

All the best, and be proud of what you're achieving. Recovery isn't easy, it's the most difficult option so don't be so hard on yourself. xxx

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

Hey guys, the same anon bere. I have relapsed 3 times since the last time I posted, most recently yesterday night. It has got to the point where it's seriously taking a toll on my A-levels and I think I need professional help but I'm just in no position to tell family or friends at all, and I don't want to file for extenuating circumstances because I'd like to think I can get through this without needing that. But I don't know if I can

Reply 29

bones-mccoy

Original post by Anonymous

Hey, I've just read all of your posts and you're doing so well. I think it's important to remember that you WILL relapse, it's inevitable. I haven't self harmed for about 2 years and I still get the urges to do it during times of stress or extreme emotion. Stopping is not easy, in fact it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it's so worth it.

Extenuating circumstances can be a huge help. I had them for my exams at uni and they ensured that I passed everything when I wasn't functioning properly, let alone in the right frame of mind to revise. Looking back, I wish I used EC's for my A Levels because they were impacted so badly by my mental health problems. I recommend going to your GP, they might tell your parents but only if you're a significant danger to yourself or other people - they'll probably urge you to tell your parents/friends/school, but this is because you need the support.