okayso, when I first started in.september or for the whole term really, I loved uni, it was great then immediately after christmas I was still enjoying it but not too the same extent. After a month or just under, so the end of january was when unhappiness kicked in, but it wasnt really until after easter that the depression properly kicked in.
I dread every day and get no enjoyment out of life, I constantly feel on the verge of tears I'm feel have nothing to be happy about. I feel so lonely and feel I have no one to talk to and no friends just people I say hi to you now and then. I hate going back to my room because it reminds me of how lonely I am.
I know it's not my course as I actually look forward to lectures partly because it gives me something to do. It's like I always need to see busy and I'm constantly irritable and can't relax.
It sounds cliche but it feels like there's a black cloud over my head and I can't see the light.
I have genuinely thought about ending it but have never come close actually doing it.
I have literally just started Counselling once a week and hopefully that will help but at the moment nothing makes me happy and I don't know where this has come from.
My self esteem has hit rock bottom I hate apperance, I have never been happy with myself but never have hated myself to this extent.
I have always gone to the gym a lot and still will do however now I don't enjoy it all and it just a chore, I have to do it so I don't get fat.
The worry my weight didn't start uni, however it has gotten worse and my motivation for the gym has gone but I still going.
I honestly don't know where this is come from and was wondering if anyone felt as depressed as I do.
Thanks for reading
Depressed and extremely unhappy
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