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Depressed and extremely unhappy

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    okayso, when I first started in.september or for the whole term really, I loved uni, it was great then immediately after christmas I was still enjoying it but not too the same extent. After a month or just under, so the end of january was when unhappiness kicked in, but it wasnt really until after easter that the depression properly kicked in.
    I dread every day and get no enjoyment out of life, I constantly feel on the verge of tears I'm feel have nothing to be happy about. I feel so lonely and feel I have no one to talk to and no friends just people I say hi to you now and then. I hate going back to my room because it reminds me of how lonely I am.

    I know it's not my course as I actually look forward to lectures partly because it gives me something to do. It's like I always need to see busy and I'm constantly irritable and can't relax.
    It sounds cliche but it feels like there's a black cloud over my head and I can't see the light.

    I have genuinely thought about ending it but have never come close actually doing it.

    I have literally just started Counselling once a week and hopefully that will help but at the moment nothing makes me happy and I don't know where this has come from.

    My self esteem has hit rock bottom I hate apperance, I have never been happy with myself but never have hated myself to this extent.

    I have always gone to the gym a lot and still will do however now I don't enjoy it all and it just a chore, I have to do it so I don't get fat.
    The worry my weight didn't start uni, however it has gotten worse and my motivation for the gym has gone but I still going.

    I honestly don't know where this is come from and was wondering if anyone felt as depressed as I do.

    Thanks for reading

    I know exactly how you feel, minus the university as I work full time, which I hate and dread going everyday. It's got to the point now where, if I think they won't notice I've not turned up then I wont go in. I cry every single day, I have a problem with drink and go days and days without eating. I hate leaving my house for any reason to the extent that I don't even go to the shops anymore. I feel dread every waking moment and I sleep badly because I dream about everything that is making me miserable.
    My doctor recommended counselling last week but I haven't been yet - I literally have no energy to do anything because alls I do is wallow in how miserable I am.

    I know it doesn't change your situation but feel free to get in touch - as I said I know how it feels to be so desperately lonely and unhappy so I'm hear if you want to talk
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