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She cancels first date due to flu. What do I do next? Stop chasing her?

I started speaking to a girl about 2 weeks ago online and she honestly seems perfect for me. We both like the same music, same movies, wrestling, we work in similar jobs, and we went to the same university. She lives about 5 miles from me which is incredible! She seems perfect. We were supposed to be having our first date on Sunday but she cancelled and this was her message this morning:

''So I have the flu :/ I'm all gross!!We may have to postpone our date for a little while hun :'( I dont wanna commit to seeing you then have cancel again cause im still not well. It isn't fair on you at all. I'm taking a few days of work also, which sucks but I have to xx''

I just find it frustrating because I was really looking forward to it. I just feel that in the 2 weeks we've been talking, we could have easily met up for coffee or a meal in an evening or weekend because we live so close. Now this happens. She hasn't given me anything concrete for when we can meet up. Hopefuly the back end of next week, when she's better. But again, nothings been rearranged which is making me more anxious. I've told her this, which may or not have been a mistake but I felt like I had to.

So what do I do next? I mean people get ill I understand that. I just need assurance that I'll see her. My guts telling me that we won't ever meet up, partly due to past experience. At least I work long hours (12 hour shifts) so I can go a long time without talking to her which helps. I want to have a few phone calls with her too. I've suggested the idea and she seems up for it.

I clearly want to see her. I also want a clear day that we will meet but I don't want to be too pushy. I'm also worried that she'll lose interest in me. If we have the phone call(s) then we'll know I suppose. I want to stop talking to her for a little bit but that might make her think I've lost interest too.

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Well it all depends if it's genuine or if she's just had second thoughts.
Reply 2
Original post by MyunrequitedLove
Well it all depends if it's genuine or if she's just had second thoughts.


It feels genuine. I mean on Monday she said she felt ill. I had flu about 7 weeks ago and I was in bed for a week haha. Like I say it's not the cancellation that's bothering me, it's other stuff
Just ask what day she wants to meet up. There's no point crying about it just ask it's not the end of the world. If she wants to meet you then she will answer. Simple.
I can understand why you're wrestling with it but it sounds like she doesn't want to share bodily fluids.
maybe send her a Get Wel card ? flu is very unpleasant & can take several days to get over.
Reply 6
Ok, I think i'll message her later with something like ''I'm free Friday evening and Saturday next week. That should give you enough time to get over your flu. Let's go out then.''. Shall I gage her response and decide how interested she is? Then decide. She'll probably say '' I don't know if i'll be well enough by then''
Reply 7
Original post by the bear
maybe send her a Get Wel card ? flu is very unpleasant & can take several days to get over.


I'll draw her one. I love drawing
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I started speaking to a girl about 2 weeks ago online and she honestly seems perfect for me. We both like the same music, same movies, wrestling, we work in similar jobs, and we went to the same university. She lives about 5 miles from me which is incredible! She seems perfect. We were supposed to be having our first date on Sunday but she cancelled and this was her message this morning:

''So I have the flu :/ I'm all gross!!We may have to postpone our date for a little while hun :'( I dont wanna commit to seeing you then have cancel again cause im still not well. It isn't fair on you at all. I'm taking a few days of work also, which sucks but I have to xx''

I just find it frustrating because I was really looking forward to it. I just feel that in the 2 weeks we've been talking, we could have easily met up for coffee or a meal in an evening or weekend because we live so close. Now this happens. She hasn't given me anything concrete for when we can meet up. Hopefuly the back end of next week, when she's better. But again, nothings been rearranged which is making me more anxious. I've told her this, which may or not have been a mistake but I felt like I had to.

So what do I do next? I mean people get ill I understand that. I just need assurance that I'll see her. My guts telling me that we won't ever meet up, partly due to past experience. At least I work long hours (12 hour shifts) so I can go a long time without talking to her which helps. I want to have a few phone calls with her too. I've suggested the idea and she seems up for it.

I clearly want to see her. I also want a clear day that we will meet but I don't want to be too pushy. I'm also worried that she'll lose interest in me. If we have the phone call(s) then we'll know I suppose. I want to stop talking to her for a little bit but that might make her think I've lost interest too.


I will leave it until she calls.
Imo I do not think she is keen/serious
Original post by Anonymous
I started speaking to a girl about 2 weeks ago online and she honestly seems perfect for me. We both like the same music, same movies, wrestling, we work in similar jobs, and we went to the same university. She lives about 5 miles from me which is incredible! She seems perfect. We were supposed to be having our first date on Sunday but she cancelled and this was her message this morning:

''So I have the flu :/ I'm all gross!!We may have to postpone our date for a little while hun :'( I dont wanna commit to seeing you then have cancel again cause im still not well. It isn't fair on you at all. I'm taking a few days of work also, which sucks but I have to xx''

I just find it frustrating because I was really looking forward to it. I just feel that in the 2 weeks we've been talking, we could have easily met up for coffee or a meal in an evening or weekend because we live so close. Now this happens. She hasn't given me anything concrete for when we can meet up. Hopefuly the back end of next week, when she's better. But again, nothings been rearranged which is making me more anxious. I've told her this, which may or not have been a mistake but I felt like I had to.

So what do I do next? I mean people get ill I understand that. I just need assurance that I'll see her. My guts telling me that we won't ever meet up, partly due to past experience. At least I work long hours (12 hour shifts) so I can go a long time without talking to her which helps. I want to have a few phone calls with her too. I've suggested the idea and she seems up for it.

I clearly want to see her. I also want a clear day that we will meet but I don't want to be too pushy. I'm also worried that she'll lose interest in me. If we have the phone call(s) then we'll know I suppose. I want to stop talking to her for a little bit but that might make her think I've lost interest too.



You are coming across as insecure, desparate, pushy, anxious and demanding. Its not good.

Why not be patient and empathetic?
Original post by Anonymous
It feels genuine. I mean on Monday she said she felt ill. I had flu about 7 weeks ago and I was in bed for a week haha. Like I say it's not the cancellation that's bothering me, it's other stuff

Ah in that case I'd say give a few days of no contact. Then try and keep communication to phone calls only and keep txt to a minimum. When it feels like you both are still makng time to awnser each others calls, arrange another time to meet up.
Goodluck though mate! :smile:
So maybe just keep contact to a minmum and not even mention the date?
When you get bed-ridden by the flu - you will understand x
Original post by Anonymous
So maybe just keep contact to a minmum and not even mention the date?


I just cant believe why you make such a big thing of someone catching flu. people get ill. Shes given you no reason to think she's lying about it but you decide to be demanding and flip out.

Just chill out and behave. If she has out you off then you cna deal with that as well. For goodness sake show some patience.
Jeez, don't be desperate. Just let her know you feel bad for her and hope she gets well soon. Tell her to let you know when she's feeling better.

For all things holy, DO NOT send her some pushy, passive aggressive message like "i'm free this friday, want to meet up then once you've gotten over your flu?" it'll just make it seem like all you care about is the date and not her actual well being, and though that may be true, she will lose interest in you.
Original post by Anonymous
So maybe just keep contact to a minmum and not even mention the date?

Yup just give her a few days.


Yeah If I was you I would call her, then after a few conversations, when it feels natural arrange another date.
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
I started speaking to a girl about 2 weeks ago online and she honestly seems perfect for me. We both like the same music, same movies, wrestling, we work in similar jobs, and we went to the same university. She lives about 5 miles from me which is incredible! She seems perfect. We were supposed to be having our first date on Sunday but she cancelled and this was her message this morning:

''So I have the flu :/ I'm all gross!!We may have to postpone our date for a little while hun :'( I dont wanna commit to seeing you then have cancel again cause im still not well. It isn't fair on you at all. I'm taking a few days of work also, which sucks but I have to xx''

I just find it frustrating because I was really looking forward to it. I just feel that in the 2 weeks we've been talking, we could have easily met up for coffee or a meal in an evening or weekend because we live so close. Now this happens. She hasn't given me anything concrete for when we can meet up. Hopefuly the back end of next week, when she's better. But again, nothings been rearranged which is making me more anxious. I've told her this, which may or not have been a mistake but I felt like I had to.

So what do I do next? I mean people get ill I understand that. I just need assurance that I'll see her. My guts telling me that we won't ever meet up, partly due to past experience. At least I work long hours (12 hour shifts) so I can go a long time without talking to her which helps. I want to have a few phone calls with her too. I've suggested the idea and she seems up for it.

I clearly want to see her. I also want a clear day that we will meet but I don't want to be too pushy. I'm also worried that she'll lose interest in me. If we have the phone call(s) then we'll know I suppose. I want to stop talking to her for a little bit but that might make her think I've lost interest too.


Prince had the flu.
Unfortunately, you can never know that these stories are bulls**t or not, only time will tell. But it's a believable story and the fact that she didn't cancel last minute might be a good sign. As hard as it is, the only thing you can do at this point is to wait. You're just going to f**k it up if you start pushing the thing now. Call/message her sometime next week about how she feels and try to set up a new date.
Reply 18
Flu is code for she's not interested.
Original post by 999tigger
I just cant believe why you make such a big thing of someone catching flu. people get ill. Shes given you no reason to think she's lying about it but you decide to be demanding and flip out.

Just chill out and behave. If she has out you off then you cna deal with that as well. For goodness sake show some patience.


this ^^^

she's been pretty specific for someone fobbing you off... just give it a couple of days and text her something along the lines of 'hope you're feeling better, looking forward to rescheduling our date, let me know when you're up to it and fully recovered!' and then don't rush her

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