Non-consent fantasies?

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''This study evaluated the rape fantasies of female undergraduates (N = 355) using a fantasy checklist that reflected the legal definition of rape and a sexual fantasy log that included systematic prompts and self-ratings. Results indicated that 62% of women have had a rape fantasy, which is somewhat higher than previous estimates.''

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19085605

Reply 21

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

This sounds really weird, and I guess it is.

But I've got no idea why I feel this way, and I want some answers. Like girls and guys, who it happens to have their whole lives ruined, but I just feel as if it wouldn't affect me.

When I was younger, I actually wanted to be raped, so I could get my virginity out of the way. I knew this wasn't normal, but I thought it would go away. Then I started reading non-consent stories, and I really enjoy them. I still feel really weird about it, but I can't help what I like :/ I like ones that are really twisted too, which actually scares me. Is this what they call a rape fantasy, or something else?

I understand why rape porn is looked down on and banned? But if the people are acting, I don't see the problem, nor do I see the sick side to the stories (which people comment on, clearly doing it as deep stories, not something someone should actually like or get turned on by.)

To me, it doesn't seem so horrific. Is everyone so nonchalant about it, until it happens to them? Or is this a weird way of thinking?

This isn't meant to offend people who this has happened to, as it seems like a horrific experience. I really, really don't mean any offence. I'm just voicing my thoughts, and I'm really curious as to what other people think. I haven't written or talked about this before (probably because everyone will be disgusted, but my curiousity has gotten the better of me.)

I just wrote this as a bit of a rant, and kind of want to know if anyone else is like this? (I'm not expecting anyone to be) As this is really rare, isn't it? And people are looked down on for liking stuff like this? Why? I actually really want to know what people think.

If you want it then it's not rape. Rape means to be forced against your will.

Reply 22

joey11223

Original post by hezzlington

Being dominated in a consensual sexual environment and being raped are entirely different things.

You're calling me ignorant because I'm suggesting OP wouldn't enjoy being raped?

As I said yes they are, but many don't seem to appreciate that fact, and along with that "rape fantasy" is given too broad of a definition.

....you did read all of my post right? As in below the top two lines?

Reply 23

HOLA255

Original post by Anonymous

That takes the power away from the rapist.

Reply 24

hezzlington

Original post by BeccaHP

You are ignorant in thinking rape sexual fantasy and real rape experience are equally dangerous

You are ignorant in assuming that I think that..

Reply 25

hezzlington

Original post by joey11223

Yes I wasn't disagreeing with you, my point was more addressed to those that think a 'rape fantasy' is anything like real life rape. They're not comparable, so to call it a 'rape' fantasy is questionable.

Reply 26

chris_mm

OP is probably like 13, fantasizing about men.. i can only hope that you never have to experience getting raped and maybe you grow up once

Reply 27

hezzlington

Original post by BeccaHP

Well you said rape fantasies were insane, presumably because you fail to distinguish between that and the seriousness of the real life situation ? :smile:

Can you expand on what a rape fantasy entails?

Reply 28

joey11223

Original post by hezzlington

Yeah I suppose, more a buzzword. Although the idea behind it would be women who state they have this fantasy will likely include the fact they want sex to be initiated against their will, which obviously is rape by definition.

Reply 29

joey11223

Original post by HOLA255

That takes the power away from the rapist.

An interesting point, I always wondered if that could be a defense mechanism if you were ever in the situation. Would hearing the likes of "oh yes" "oh that's so good" type talk put them off to the extent they'd break the attack. But that assumes the rapist wants the women to be fearful, some will, some might actually be aroused further if they can believe the women wants it.

Reply 30

hezzlington

Original post by joey11223

'against their will' is an important part.

Because it's a fantasy, the end result is that they want it to happen. Do they want the emotional and physical damage that often comes with rape too? Does that turn them on? It's cherry picking.

Reply 31

bethwalker85

Rape fantasy is more of imagining a Mr Grey type man being rough, but you enjoying it.

When your body doesn't want sex and you don't want sex, it would not be fun and pleasurable. It would hurt and it most likely would be someone who you don't want to have sex with.

Reply 32

hezzlington

Original post by BeccaHP

I think rape fantasy involves all the components which make up a real life rape (non-consentual sex etc), but obviously as it is a product of your own imagination (or, if reading another's writing of it, you are at least imagining it in your head) you always actually do have control over what is happening.
In real life, you have absolutely no control over the other person's actions and have no idea what is going to happen. You can't really stop it and, whereas a fantasy is centred around your own pleasure, in real life this isn't about pleasure at all. It is entirely different in its emotional and physical impact, all because of that loss of control over the other person (which you have in fantasy and even somewhat in role play).

Brutal physical and emotional trauma. Scarred for life. Risk of STIs/unwanted pregnancy. Yeah, a real turn on. Like I said earlier, it's cherry picking components of 'domination' and/or sex with a stranger. It starts with the premise that, you actually want it to happen, deep down. In your fantasy, you have control over the subject; you can imagine it's a big strong, ripped sexy man who's all mysterious. In reality, it could be a former friend who you had no attraction to, or a man/group of men/women/group of women who hold a knife to your throat.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 33

hezzlington

Original post by bethwalker85

Exactly this. I think the sort of people that are into 'rape fantasies' are the type of people to read erotic fan fiction.

Reply 34

pezisland37

too far bro. too far.

Reply 35

hezzlington

Original post by BeccaHP

You absolutely do cherry pick components! But that is because you do not want the horrific reality !! The only reason the creater of this thread thinks she would like rape is because she does not understand it & is ignorant of the reality.

Exactly. It's therefore, in my opinion, unfair to call it a 'rape fantasy', if you don't want the horrific reality, you don't want to actually be raped.. Hence why I used the word insane earlier.

Reply 36

hezzlington

Original post by anonwinner

You're a beta male, probably a virgin.

what? what does that have to do with anything?

Reply 37

joey11223

Original post by hezzlington

For most yes, though as I said in my post, there is a very small chance OP is literally saying she'd also enjoy the violent aspects of it, but obviously I'd assume she isn't meaning that unless she clarifies.

Reply 38

trustmeimlying1

Original post by Anonymous

not exactly rare.

Original post by Erebor

The majority of women have rape fantasies, but these have nothing to do with the reality of rape. It's usually a fantasy that the guy who plays Thor will ravish you because you're so hot and he can't help himself. 50 shades is a good example of that, women dream of the absolute alpha male being so obsessed with them that he will do anything to posses them.