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How to stop being paranoid in my relationship.

I'm in constant worry that my partner will cheat on me, and no matter what they say or tell me how much they love me/miss me I cant help but be very paranoid about it.

Any suggestions? At this point anything is good, I want this to stop before it takes a toll on my relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob
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Great advice thanks, I'm sure it'll work right away.
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Original post by Anonymous
Great advice thanks, I'm sure it'll work right away.


Anytime, if you need more advice just give me a shout.
If you are this insecure, then you are not mentally prepared to be in a loving relationship, due to your paranoia. No amount of words of comfort from your partner will make you feel any more secure. Because this has to do with your insecurities and and not your partners.

You might have anxiety, go see your GP about being put on medication that might be the best course of action, as it will calm your thoughts and your worry.

This is from experience, i was once in the same position.
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Original post by Powerpuff Girls
If you are this insecure, then you are not mentally prepared to be in a loving relationship, due to your paranoia. No amount of words of comfort from your partner will make you feel any more secure. Because this has to do with your insecurities and and not your partners.

You might have anxiety, go see your GP about being put on medication that might be the best course of action, as it will calm your thoughts and your worry.

This is from experience, i was once in the same position.


Yeah that sounds about right, its my first relationship too so I'm bound to be paranoid about it.
I'd say speaking to my GP is a good call, maybe it is anxiety. I've never really thought about it but now I guess it could be that as I worry so much in general, not just about relationships.
Its nice to have someone who can relate :smile: Thank you
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah that sounds about right, its my first relationship too so I'm bound to be paranoid about it.
I'd say speaking to my GP is a good call, maybe it is anxiety. I've never really thought about it but now I guess it could be that as I worry so much in general, not just about relationships.
Its nice to have someone who can relate :smile: Thank you


No problem, and seeing your GP sounds like a good idea. And this is your first relationship. It's the beginning phase, but as the relationship grows and your emotions for each other grow stronger the doubts and insecurities will begin to fade with time.

Good luck.:yy:
You've got to figure out what it is that's making you feel insecure...do you think they're too good for you? Or that you're not good enough for them? Is it to do with your partner's looks, how outgoing they are?
Once you figure out what it is that's making you feel like that, you've got to talk sense into yourself because as you say, no matter what's said to you you wont believe it..
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Original post by Powerpuff Girls
No problem, and seeing your GP sounds like a good idea. And this is your first relationship. It's the beginning phase, but as the relationship grows and your emotions for each other grow stronger the doubts and insecurities will begin to fade with time.

Good luck.:yy:


Yeah I'd say over time it'll settle. I'll speak to my GP as its exam time and paranoia is the last thing I want. Thanks!


Original post by Biryani007
You've got to figure out what it is that's making you feel insecure...do you think they're too good for you? Or that you're not good enough for them? Is it to do with your partner's looks, how outgoing they are?
Once you figure out what it is that's making you feel like that, you've got to talk sense into yourself because as you say, no matter what's said to you you wont believe it..


Its just the thought that they can go off and cheat on me at any time and I wouldnt know, thats what gets me. I've tried convincing myself that things will be okay and I'm just being paranoid but it never works.
Original post by Anonymous
Its just the thought that they can go off and cheat on me at any time and I wouldnt know, thats what gets me. I've tried convincing myself that things will be okay and I'm just being paranoid but it never works.


Why do you think they'd cheat on you? You think you're not good enough? They're not trustworthy?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in constant worry that my partner will cheat on me, and no matter what they say or tell me how much they love me/miss me I cant help but be very paranoid about it.

Any suggestions? At this point anything is good, I want this to stop before it takes a toll on my relationship.


Paranoia is a horrible thing, but depending on how you act on it will depend on what toll it takes.

We all get it, but you have to realise that it's all in your head - I see it as a defense mechanism as your brain is just trying to prevent you from getting hurt. Paranoia has made me lose some friends and nearly end some relationships (including the one I'm in now) - just don't act on it, if you're insecure or feel unsafe/sure then tell your partner about it, it's what they're there for.

You could think of ways that she could do that will help you trust her more, just take into account her feelings too

Good luck!
Original post by Lucarious30
Paranoia is a horrible thing, but depending on how you act on it will depend on what toll it takes.

We all get it, but you have to realise that it's all in your head - I see it as a defense mechanism as your brain is just trying to prevent you from getting hurt. Paranoia has made me lose some friends and nearly end some relationships (including the one I'm in now) - just don't act on it, if you're insecure or feel unsafe/sure then tell your partner about it, it's what they're there for.

You could think of ways that she could do that will help you trust her more, just take into account her feelings too

Good luck!


Yeah everything you say sounds about right, I want to tell my partner about my worries but, again, im worried that they will see it as mistrust in them.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah everything you say sounds about right, I want to tell my partner about my worries but, again, im worried that they will see it as mistrust in them.


It's possible she could take it this way, yes. You just have to clearly point out that it's not her that's the issue.

If she realises this is your first relationship she may be a bit more understanding - I usually only get paranoid because I'm worried I'm going to lose the person I love and never just to hurt them, so If I have an issue I try to stress this as much as I can. We can't help how we feel, and an understanding partner will understand that.
Original post by Biryani007
Why do you think they'd cheat on you? You think you're not good enough? They're not trustworthy?


Its a mix of both. Its my first relationship so they might want to look for someone with more experience. I just think they will jump to a good opportunity if they see one, so a more attractive guy for example.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in constant worry that my partner will cheat on me, and no matter what they say or tell me how much they love me/miss me I cant help but be very paranoid about it.

Any suggestions? At this point anything is good, I want this to stop before it takes a toll on my relationship.


Learn to be confident and secure about yourself, before you get into a relationship.

Learn to love yourself, before you attempt to love others.

Took me a while to understand this.
Original post by Lucarious30
It's possible she could take it this way, yes. You just have to clearly point out that it's not her that's the issue.

If she realises this is your first relationship she may be a bit more understanding - I usually only get paranoid because I'm worried I'm going to lose the person I love and never just to hurt them, so If I have an issue I try to stress this as much as I can. We can't help how we feel, and an understanding partner will understand that.


I can try, they worry quite a bit like me so I hope they can relate there. They understand that it is my first relationship and have done before with many things, I just hope they will with this. I just feel like its a petty worry and they will just be really negative about it. I guess there is only one way to find out.

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