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Lived with my friend for 8 years. Both gay guys. Is this weird?

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    • Thread Starter

    So I've known my best friend for 9 years. We've always got on great as friends and there's always been a great friend chemistry. We decided to move in together after being friends for a year and we have stayed living together now for 8 years. We do everything together. He drops me off at work each morning and picks me up from work each evening. We go on holiday together. We have bought a house together (joint mortgage). We visit each other's family on a regular basis. We share our cars. We have joint pets. Everything for
    Our house we buy together. We have both been in relationships since being friends and our friendship has always caused problems in relationships as the guys we were dating were jealous. We always chose to stay friends rather than keep the relationship as a best friend is hard to find.

    There was never any jealousy when one of us was in a relationship with someone else. There is no romantic relationship chemistry. We are not sexually attracted to each other eventhough we are both considered to be good looking guys. For years we've had people say we are a good looking couple and if I had a pound for every time someone told us to get together I would be a billionaire. While Some people suspect we are dating, the truth is we have never even kissed and neither of us want the relationship to go further than friendship.

    Eventually one or both of us will meet the love of our life and we would stop living together at that point.

    Yesterday it was my birthday and something made me think. I got all my birthday cards and noticed everyone had wrote the cards to me and my friend not just me. I looked at my old cards and ive noticed everyone just sees us as one. To me that's a clear indication that something about our friendship is not quite normal. We have a joint mortgage!!! I've really been thinking today about all this and whether we really are just friends. We have separate beds but fall asleep on the sofas most evenings. I usually lie on his chest.

    I felt a bit awkward this morning while sat having breakfast. there's no chemistry but I think it might be because neither of us have ever entertained the idea of dating. Neither of us is physically unattracted to the other. We could happily sleep together but we are friends so don't have That sort of desire. There isn't a desire to do it. neither of us have ever brought a guy back to the house. It's an unwritten rule. We've introduced each other to boufriends and there's been no jealousy.

    If we stopped living together it would feel like I'd lost my right arm! He feels the same. But does that mean anything?

    Is there anything wrong with our friendship? I think after all these years it would be too weird to date. Have we overstepped friendship boundaries without realising?

    Can't see it being an issue unless you make it one, course if one of you ends up in a relationship that's when maybe sleeping on his chest would be pushing the boundaries a bit.

    Mate, it sounds like you've got a really great relationship going on there (when I say relationship I refer to the bond you two have, not dating status) . Stop worrying about labelling what you have with him, just enjoy it and go with the flow! Labels are just stressful and limiting. If what you have with him feels right and cool with you then that's all you need to worry about. Chill. If it doesn't fix into the 'box' then that doesn't make it wrong or mean you have to throw it away.

    ...I say that, but I'll give you another piece of advice so I'm not just thrusting my thoughts at you in case it doesn't help you out much. I really do think you just need to stop focusing on the name of it, but there's also a thing called soulmate or platonic life partner.
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...icLifePartners -- (First paragraph.)

    "This is when two characters have been friends for a long time, and share a closeness like that of a married couple. Occasionally, there are individuals who assume the duo are married or dating, or try to set them up as a couple. However, the duo is perfectly happy just being friends and the lack of sexual attraction is mutual. The reasons behind this vary. Sometimes they're truly in love with someone else. Sometimes their sexual orientation makes them incompatible. Sometimes they even tried dating once a long time ago and realised that they just didn't think of each other like that. Whatever the case, the final result is entirely platonic on both sides."

    Usually the story of a couple is that they start out with a super-intense romantic sexual love for each other, and then gradually, over years and years, grow into a more stable, everyday, companionable love and respect. You seem to have skipped the former and proceeded directly to the latter. I can see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    This is so cute! For now you are friends. My guess is that when one of you meets a guy you really like and moves out, you will both realise there are more feelings there. Or it may be that there really is no sexual attraction there and never will be.
    • Thread Starter

    Just updating this post. Today I married my 'friend' who I mentioned in this post. We were soul mates after all :-)
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