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The Illogical Side to Spock - living with OCD, BDD and panic disorder

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TSR's new app is coming! Sign up here to try it first >> 17-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    Going to see the psychiatrist was useless. Refused to accept that I can't take meds and said he doesn't know if intensive therapy would suit me as I am 'unable to be willing to experience distress' which is a lot of crap! I experience distress every day from my conditions whether I want to or not so wouldn't mind feeling more if it were actually going to help me in the long run. I am being referred to a CPN who is going to decide if I am suitable for intensive therapy or just some anxiety management classes and things like that.
    • Thread Starter

    I just got my ESA decision, I've been placed in the support group! I'm over the moon and a huge weight has been lifted. I'm relieved that they took OCD seriously. It's about time.

    Now just to get this PIP medical out the way and I can hopefully relax for a while. The last few weeks have been horrendous but at least there was some good news this morning with the decision

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    • Thread Starter

    Hey guys! :hi: long time no post, eh?

    Thought I'd check in and give you guys an update especially as next week is officially OCD Awareness Week (9th-16th Oct 2016) and I'll leave some links to various pages about the cause http://www.ocduk.org/ocd-awareness-week-resources

    So an update - some good things have happened over the last few months such as booking my wedding :love: , my best friend had a cancer scare but thankfully everything came back benign :woo: and I've had a lot of good moments here and there.

    Some bad and stressful things have happened too. My stepdad's mum is dying. Doctors don't expect her to live until November so we are on constant stand by waiting for the call pretty much , my papa still hasn't had his transplant yet and he nearly caught septicemia from a bad infection on his foot and he was taken off the transplant list for a few months because of it but thankfully he is back on it now and the infection has cleared I got accepted for ESA and put into the support group but I failed my PIP medical by 2 points. I got 6 points for daily living and I need 8 to get PIP. I am currently awaiting my decision on mandatory reconsideration but I doubt I will pass that so it looks like I will be going to the tribunal :cry2:
    I'm really worried about that as the stress from just the medicals alone made me relapse with self harming again for years and I've only just stopped so if I have to go to a tribunal, I'm worried about relapsing again
    I'll keep you guys updated on that.

    I also saw a psychiatrist in August and he was bloody useless because I can't take meds. He referred me onto a see a CPN and I was told I would have that appt through within 2 weeks, I only just got it last week and my appt is tomorrow. Apparently he never made the referral and my GP had to chase it up and then put in a complaint. I'll let you know how my appt goes tomorrow pretty nervous about it but my mum and Callan are coming in with me, thankfully. I'm getting transferred to CMHT so will have regular appts with CPNs, social workers etc soon

    As for my conditions, OCD has been the worst. Its been unbelievable the last few months and the last few weeks especially. My health anxiety has been through the roof and I've been taking pics of my body and compare them every day, check my lymph nodes no joke about 200 times a day and my neck becomes red raw, barely eat, barely sleep, spend about 8 hours a day Googling my symptoms, paranoid someone is in my flat so going around the flat taking pics to make sure no one has moved anything while my back is turned and a million other symptoms. I took a picture when I was at my worst lately, when I was considering self admitting myself (which thankfully my GP talked me out of the next day as reassured me it was OCD) and I might upload it here to show exactly what OCD does. Its not some cute and quirky little illness, its debilitating and nothing to make light of.

    Anyway guys, thanks for reading and as always, any questions just give me a shout and remember my inbox is always open :hugs:

    • Thread Starter

    Hey guys :hugs:

    So I had my appt with the CPN finally today and it went well better than I thought. I was only in for about half an hour and it was pretty much just going through my diagnosis, what the psychiatrist said in the referral and what kind of therapy I will be getting.

    To start, I will be getting some mild anxiety management type therapy sessions, a little stronger than the kind of things I was taught at CBT but nothing too intensive. The CPN is doing this to build me up for more intensive therapies such as trauma therapy and I forget the other one she mentioned
    It'll be a long road and it wont be a quick and easy fix but here's hoping finally that I am on the right road this time, once and for all
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