Been through it several times!
a 4 1/2 year relationship, 3 of those we lived together. The final 2 years of sexual and emotional abuse were unbearable. I wanted to end it so badly but couldn't/didn't know how. Eventually I did, no one knew why or what my problems were and so everyone fell out with me. My parents, my friends... Worst of all, my ex made up enough stories to convince everyone to stay hating me basically. Still to this day I hear things and have to tell people what really happened. Even following this, the amount of people who just don't get it or don't care to get it is shocking. My own parents didn't really give a damn and didn't even believe the 'sexual abuse' side of my relationship. I'm a guy who was with a girl by the way.
My Dad used to always go on about how it was my fault and I was cold, heartless and cruel for ending it. After I finally told him 2 years later why I ended it, he told me that there was no way a girl could ever force anything on me etc and that it was all me. No matter how I tried to explain it, he just didn't get it. So that was fun. He also refuses to acknowledge any mental issues really...
Following the breakup and the backlash I went into a deep depression, drugs, drink, suicide attempts. It was a crazy time. Had many months off work and just coasted through life deciding why I shouldn't just kill myself. Most of the time I was just experiencing things, kinda ticking boxes off a mental to do list before I did it, I guess to justify that I've seen enough and have no reason to continue. I eventually met another girl who convinced me life was worth living. We were together 9 months and I got a little better, but that kinda stuff doesn't just leave you and I still had a lot of issues I hadn't quite ironed out.
I dated for a while and eventually I met someone who I fell absolutely in love with. The more I got to know her though, the crazier she got. She was a complete Narcissist. It was actually scary, I didn't see the warning signs until it was too late though. After a long string of problems we called it a day and once again I felt alone in the world. I'm still not really over her now honestly. I don't miss her, I hate her. But I miss caring for someone and having someone care for me.
Got me back to square one of depression/anxiety and just generally not really wanting to carry on that whole business did. Decided that there's nothing left for me here where I live and so after some time I came up with a way to get out. I'm moving away and going to uni.
Hoping to meet new and like minded people and just start fresh basically. Start over in a place where no one knows me or my past and I can just move on.
My advice to people that can relate to any of that?
Don't give up.