The Student Room Group

4th May: Have you ever been heartbroken?

This week on The Surgery Gemma and Dr Radha will be talking about Heartbreak. Are you currently dealing with a break up or situation which has left you feeling heartbroken? Or have you managed to mend your broken heart and have advice to share?

Post your questions, experiences and advice on this thread and we’ll do our best to answer and share them on The Surgery on BBC Radio 1 on Wednesday 4th May at 9pm.

NB: You can post on this thread anonymously.

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I don't swear by the Kübler-Ross model but it can offer some insight into how you feel after a breakup.

The worst thing to do is hang around and hope they'll change their mind, because it's not easy to think straight in an emotional state and you might not see that maybe the breakup was for a reason and that there'll be other people that come along, provided you make the effort. But it is natural to want them back as that emotional bond that you had isn't easy to break or completely let go of.

And there's no quick fix to getting over someone, it just takes some time (with them blocked out of your life completely - number, messages, gifts, all binned) and there is nothing that watching episodes of Blackadder can't fix.
Dear all those with broken hearts.

Forget about them. It wasn't meant to be. Dedicate the next two weeks of your life eating pizza and watching the Walking Dead. Then climb a mountain. It REALLY helps.


Me xxx
It's been nearly a year and I still care.

Even though I don't want to.
Yes, this girl said one of the nicest things anybody has ever said to me, and left me heartbroken, still hurts man
Heartbroken by the number of friends that abused my trust and loyalty, backstabbed me and used me.
Haven't fixed it though, because I keep finding myself in similar situations on an annual basis :\
Yes, I have been, and it's something which dulls over time. It's like a healing cut which scars over. It generally doesn't hurt any more after a while, but there's still a mark on your heart.

However, I can imagine a non-romantic heartbreak which never stops hurting in the form of the death of a close family member (which I fortunately haven't yet exerienced). With girls it's fine, you can just go and bang a string of new ones and it cheers you up no end. What's the equivalent if your kid gets run over? I dunno.
Boy, oh boy. The two times I've gone through a breakup I've been very quick to accept it, but not as quick to move on. I am of the opinion that once a relationship reaches the point where it can no longer continue, there's no 'going back' or 'changing your mind'. Once you make that decision, commit to it.

Ofc I'm not posting this anonymously, I don't like using it :lol:

Rant! Avoid at all costs!

Nope because I've never been in a relationship. Cba for boy drama in my life
Original post by BBC Radio 1
This week on The Surgery Gemma and Dr Radha will be talking about Heartbreak. Are you currently dealing with a break up or situation which has left you feeling heartbroken? Or have you managed to mend your broken heart and have advice to share?

Post your questions, experiences and advice on this thread and we’ll do our best to answer and share them on The Surgery on BBC Radio 1 on Wednesday 4th May at 9pm.

NB: You can post on this thread anonymously.


I've been heartbroken but time is an amazing healer I've learnt. Took a long time and I guess it sounds easier said than done. As clichéd as that sounded it did help a lot. I feel like I was a totally different person then and now and I've taken away so much from it. I've learnt it was just part of life experience and it really does hurt like you cannot describe but you do get over it. I did think that I wouldn't be able to handle being without the other person etc but I learnt that in time the reason we parted eventually was because that person didn't resonate with who I was or my values and wasn't good for me.

It's difficult to see how someone can be bad for you when all you see is the good through your biased cloud of love and affection. But we learn and we become stronger and we grow.
Reply 10
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Dear all those with broken hearts.

Forget about them. It wasn't meant to be. Dedicate the next two weeks of your life eating pizza and watching the Walking Dead. Then climb a mountain. It REALLY helps.


Me xxx


The walking dead has some really sad scenes in it though :frown:
Been through it several times!

a 4 1/2 year relationship, 3 of those we lived together. The final 2 years of sexual and emotional abuse were unbearable. I wanted to end it so badly but couldn't/didn't know how. Eventually I did, no one knew why or what my problems were and so everyone fell out with me. My parents, my friends... Worst of all, my ex made up enough stories to convince everyone to stay hating me basically. Still to this day I hear things and have to tell people what really happened. Even following this, the amount of people who just don't get it or don't care to get it is shocking. My own parents didn't really give a damn and didn't even believe the 'sexual abuse' side of my relationship. I'm a guy who was with a girl by the way.

My Dad used to always go on about how it was my fault and I was cold, heartless and cruel for ending it. After I finally told him 2 years later why I ended it, he told me that there was no way a girl could ever force anything on me etc and that it was all me. No matter how I tried to explain it, he just didn't get it. So that was fun. He also refuses to acknowledge any mental issues really...

Following the breakup and the backlash I went into a deep depression, drugs, drink, suicide attempts. It was a crazy time. Had many months off work and just coasted through life deciding why I shouldn't just kill myself. Most of the time I was just experiencing things, kinda ticking boxes off a mental to do list before I did it, I guess to justify that I've seen enough and have no reason to continue. I eventually met another girl who convinced me life was worth living. We were together 9 months and I got a little better, but that kinda stuff doesn't just leave you and I still had a lot of issues I hadn't quite ironed out.

I dated for a while and eventually I met someone who I fell absolutely in love with. The more I got to know her though, the crazier she got. She was a complete Narcissist. It was actually scary, I didn't see the warning signs until it was too late though. After a long string of problems we called it a day and once again I felt alone in the world. I'm still not really over her now honestly. I don't miss her, I hate her. But I miss caring for someone and having someone care for me.

Got me back to square one of depression/anxiety and just generally not really wanting to carry on that whole business did. Decided that there's nothing left for me here where I live and so after some time I came up with a way to get out. I'm moving away and going to uni.

Hoping to meet new and like minded people and just start fresh basically. Start over in a place where no one knows me or my past and I can just move on.

My advice to people that can relate to any of that?

Don't give up.
When someone eats your left over pizza


Spoiler

(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 13
Original post by iEthan
Boy, oh boy. The two times I've gone through a breakup I've been very quick to accept it, but not as quick to move on. I am of the opinion that once a relationship reaches the point where it can no longer continue, there's no 'going back' or 'changing your mind'. Once you make that decision, commit to it.

Ofc I'm not posting this anonymously, I don't like using it :lol:

Rant! Avoid at all costs!



I'm sorry :frown:

Glad about your dad though :h: hope he gets better :biggrin:

:hugs: :heart:
Yes, although not for the kind of reasons you might expect. One such time was during high school. During year 10 I think, I was rejected after applying for a peer counseling role, on the basis that my communication skills 'weren't good enough'. My history teacher was the one in charge of the peer counseling team, and I still haven't forgiven her for rejecting me to this day (there are other aspects to this story which I won't bother going into here). Essentially, she totally crushed my dream of becoming a psychologist, and it might sound trivial to some, but it really hurt me. I cried for days :frown:
Yes. I've been heartbroken from grief, breakdown of friendships etc. The one that sticks with me more than any other is the heartbreak I felt when I lost my best friend of 6 years 7 years ago through his actions.

He physically assaulted me because he was jealous I had a boyfriend then. It wasn't just a little slap, not that even that would have been acceptable. He changed in an instant and in the space of a few seconds I lost my best friend, someone who I saw as a brother, my partner in crime and pretty much the biggest person in my life. It broke my heart and to this day, it's one of the few things that makes my stomach drop when I think of it still. I didn't really deal with how I felt when it happened and tried to block it and him out and I think that's why it still gets to me this day because I never processed it all. Its made me distrust people even more.

It worries me that if he could do that to me, he could do it to a future girlfriend, friend or even child.

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Spock's Socks
Yes. I've been heartbroken from grief, breakdown of friendships etc. The one that sticks with me more than any other is the heartbreak I felt when I lost my best friend of 6 years 7 years ago through his actions.

He physically assaulted me because he was jealous I had a boyfriend then. It wasn't just a little slap, not that even that would have been acceptable. He changed in an instant and in the space of a few seconds I lost my best friend, someone who I saw as a brother, my partner in crime and pretty much the biggest person in my life. It broke my heart and to this day, it's one of the few things that makes my stomach drop when I think of it still.

It worries me that if he could do that to me, he could do it to a future girlfriend, friend or even child.

Posted from TSR Mobile


That's awful! I'm so sorry that happened to you :console:
Reply 17
Yep, had heartbreak - not nice. Although I guess it is a little weird when they are dying at the start of the relationship.
Many times. Was not a relationship heartbreak tho. Life broke my heart. Life does it and no one knows yet because I didn't tell anyone.

I have a dream job ; and I might be sick. This illness will stop me from doing the job of my dream. Idk if I'm sick yet. Just waiting for the results. This is my worst heartbreak. Living in incertainty.
For heavens sake, no. Have thinking about a girl who I was falling a love for a long time, so I was emotional dependent a bit. But heartbroken love? no.

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