I've been speaking online with a guy for about a month, we are both from the UK. However, at the time, I was only in the UK for a few days and my online dating app automatically changed my location (I've been studying abroad and was returning), so we started talking. We have been talking for about a month, but it seems like forever. We play online games together, Skype, we have pretty much everything in common, and he is the sweetest guy ever. I'm 25, and he is 22 and still a virgin (doesn't bother me) but he has had it rough in the past and never really had a girlfriend. As of late, through online communication, our bond has deepened and he has started to say he loves me. I certainly have feelings for him, and I like him very much, but I'm the first girl that has ever showed interest in him and I think maybe he is getting ahead of himself.
The issue is that we are not in a relationship, but clearly like each other, yet I am studying abroad and have the opportunity to meet new people. I deleted the dating app I was on, but remained on another app, looking for friends in a foreign country. I am currently in Russia for a few months and met this guy from France, as friends, and we are both into the same type of music. We went to a gig, everything was cool, but then he was trying 'it on with me.' He did kiss me a few times and I never stopped it, and I felt very guilty after. After the gig, he was leading me to his place, and I stopped and said I had to leave unexpectedly. All I could think about was the guy that I am talking to from the UK, and I knew I dug myself a hole and was struggling to get out. Me and this new guy kind of fell out, but ever since he has maintained contact with me and is clearly interested and still trying to initiate 'relations'. I am almost 100% certain I would take things further if the UK guy wasn't on the scene.
I'm only 25 and only had one sexual partner - mainly through choice and I am not a one night stand kind of person. Part of me wants to be free and experience new things e.g. hook up with this guy I've met a few times, but the other part of me thinks no because of this UK guy I've been speaking to for only a month. Also, I'm a pessimistic person and part of the reason why I have never had a proper relationship is because I never let anyone get too close to me, lest they pierce my cold dead heart and give me reason to despair. Part of me thinks that when I will return to the UK, I will meet this guy, things will turn sour as they have in the past, and I will reflect on these times and regret not enjoying myself freely.
What would you suggest? I clearly like the UK guy because I pulled away from going back to this guys house, but another part of me thinks it'll all **** up in the end anyway.
We're not in a relationship but I stop myself from forming others?
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