Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

We're not in a relationship but I stop myself from forming others?

Announcements Posted on
Four hours left to win £100 of Amazon vouchers!! Don't miss out! Take our short survey to enter 24-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    I've been speaking online with a guy for about a month, we are both from the UK. However, at the time, I was only in the UK for a few days and my online dating app automatically changed my location (I've been studying abroad and was returning), so we started talking. We have been talking for about a month, but it seems like forever. We play online games together, Skype, we have pretty much everything in common, and he is the sweetest guy ever. I'm 25, and he is 22 and still a virgin (doesn't bother me) but he has had it rough in the past and never really had a girlfriend. As of late, through online communication, our bond has deepened and he has started to say he loves me. I certainly have feelings for him, and I like him very much, but I'm the first girl that has ever showed interest in him and I think maybe he is getting ahead of himself.

    The issue is that we are not in a relationship, but clearly like each other, yet I am studying abroad and have the opportunity to meet new people. I deleted the dating app I was on, but remained on another app, looking for friends in a foreign country. I am currently in Russia for a few months and met this guy from France, as friends, and we are both into the same type of music. We went to a gig, everything was cool, but then he was trying 'it on with me.' He did kiss me a few times and I never stopped it, and I felt very guilty after. After the gig, he was leading me to his place, and I stopped and said I had to leave unexpectedly. All I could think about was the guy that I am talking to from the UK, and I knew I dug myself a hole and was struggling to get out. Me and this new guy kind of fell out, but ever since he has maintained contact with me and is clearly interested and still trying to initiate 'relations'. I am almost 100% certain I would take things further if the UK guy wasn't on the scene.

    I'm only 25 and only had one sexual partner - mainly through choice and I am not a one night stand kind of person. Part of me wants to be free and experience new things e.g. hook up with this guy I've met a few times, but the other part of me thinks no because of this UK guy I've been speaking to for only a month. Also, I'm a pessimistic person and part of the reason why I have never had a proper relationship is because I never let anyone get too close to me, lest they pierce my cold dead heart and give me reason to despair. Part of me thinks that when I will return to the UK, I will meet this guy, things will turn sour as they have in the past, and I will reflect on these times and regret not enjoying myself freely.

    What would you suggest? I clearly like the UK guy because I pulled away from going back to this guys house, but another part of me thinks it'll all **** up in the end anyway.

    You are not in a relationship. Unless you two decide you to enter in a relationship you do not owe each other faithfulness. You need to decide whether or not you want to be with the UK guy and if so then you need to tell him, forget pulling away from others.
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: May 5, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

What do you wear to bed?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.