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I love someone who doesn't feel the same way

I met this woman nearly a year ago through a work convention and she is just incredible as soon as I met her I liked her. Anyway as time went on she added me on Facebook and we started messaging each other and I found out that she was married and has a kid. However, around January she divorced her husband and we started chatting more and she started getting really flirty with me and I thought maybe there is a chance something could happen.

But then almost overnight she stopped messaging me and replying to my messages as much as she did (I never did anything to offend her). Anyway over the past 4 months we haven't spoken as often but when we have she has said that she misses me. It's been over these months that I realise that I think I love her I think about her a lot but I think it is obvious that she doesn't feel the same way or even like me. For example I will message her on Facebook she will read it but then not reply but update her Facebook status.

What should I do?

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Reply 1
shes probs found someone else tbh or is trying to make it work with her husband
Reply 2
Maybe she has but what can/should I do?
Reply 3
Perhaps reconciled with her husband. Or not after a relationship. Ask her

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 4
Original post by SMEGGGY
Perhaps reconciled with her husband. Or not after a relationship. Ask her

Posted from TSR Mobile


I can't get the opportunity to ask because she won't reply to any of my messages.
Original post by Anonymous
I can't get the opportunity to ask because she won't reply to any of my messages.


Well unless you want to keep talking to someone who doesn't reply for a while your best bet is to forget about her and move on to someone who actually bothers replying
Reply 6
Original post by Kieran1996
Well unless you want to keep talking to someone who doesn't reply for a while your best bet is to forget about her and move on to someone who actually bothers replying


How do I forget about her and move on? I'm crazy about her.
Original post by Anonymous
How do I forget about her and move on? I'm crazy about her.


Just give it time I guess, no other option if you feel strongly

Eventually feeling fade if you let them
Reply 8
Original post by Kieran1996
Just give it time I guess, no other option if you feel strongly

Eventually feeling fade if you let them


A friend said I should delete her from Facebook and all social media but I just cant bring myself to do it. What do you think?
Original post by Anonymous
A friend said I should delete her from Facebook and all social media but I just cant bring myself to do it. What do you think?


It's probably best to remove all contact. It can be hard but it will help you
Original post by Kieran1996
It's probably best to remove all contact. It can be hard but it will help you


Believe me I have tried the cursor has hovered over unfriend but I just can't do it and if I do delete her she would message me wanting to know why, My head is a complete mess.
Original post by Anonymous
Believe me I have tried the cursor has hovered over unfriend but I just can't do it and if I do delete her she would message me wanting to know why, My head is a complete mess.


You don't owe her an explanation.

Doubt she explains why she doesn't reply to you
Original post by Kieran1996
You don't owe her an explanation.

Doubt she explains why she doesn't reply to you


That's true I guess, I just can't stop thinking about her. I love her so much it hurts and it makes me depressed that I can't be with her.
Hey man it's worrying that its making you so upset that you can't be together. I'm in the exact same position right now with someone I like. For me, telling her I liked her and having her say she didn't like me back killed me inside but its hard to love someone when they say that to your face, so it was probably the best way to get over her. Be open with her and tell her how you feel. Ask her if she feels the same. If not, move on. Easier said than done but there's someone out there who will treat you right, not send you mixed signals like this. Good luck my friend
Original post by TheStudent19
Easier said than done but there's someone out there who will treat you right, not send you mixed signals like this. Good luck my friend


Everyone says that to me but I'm starting to not believe that there is someone out there for me. Being completely honest it's starting to affect my self esteem.

Did you delete the girl from your social media?
same situation. kind of. though its a girl. who i have spoken to on and off for 4 years. shes super hot (that mixed race skin though), but i dont think shes into meeeeeeeee
Original post by Anonymous
Everyone says that to me but I'm starting to not believe that there is someone out there for me. Being completely honest it's starting to affect my self esteem.

Did you delete the girl from your social media?



It seriously affected my mental health too. I'm still having counselling because of how it made me feel. I know how bad it is for you to feel like you're worthless when you love someone who doesn't feel the same but sometimes you just don't click with people. If one of your friends liked you and you didn't like them back, it's not because they're a bad person, it's because they're just not right for you. There will be someone else for them, they way they'll be someone else for you. Look to the future, and I know it feels like there is no future right now but try to keep your head up and look for positives in this. It's better that the relationship never happened than for it to have just been unhappy for ages and then ended.

In terms of social media, I never had her on Facebook and she lost her phone recently so I have no contact with her now. I still haven't deleted the pictures of us though. That's much to hard right now. I'll get there eventually. It just feels like I'm erasing her from my life every time I try to do it. And it's not a nice feeling but in reality, you have to erase her from your life because its the only way you'll ever move on.

[Edit] Just to add that it became a lot less painful when we stopped talking. It eliminates all of the "what if she'll fall for me one day" thoughts. Unfortunately she probably never will. Its easier to accept that when you're no longer speaking.

If deleting her is too difficult, try ignoring some of her messages every now and then, the way she does to you. When the soreness of rejection is gone, you'll be left with enough strength to move on completely. We both will, I'm sure of it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by TheStudent19
It seriously affected my mental health too. I'm still having counselling because of how it made me feel. I know how bad it is for you to feel like you're worthless when you love someone who doesn't feel the same but sometimes you just don't click with people. If one of your friends liked you and you didn't like them back, it's not because they're a bad person, it's because they're just not right for you. There will be someone else for them, they way they'll be someone else for you. Look to the future, and I know it feels like there is no future right now but try to keep your head up and look for positives in this. It's better that the relationship never happened than for it to have just been unhappy for ages and then ended.

In terms of social media, I never had her on Facebook and she lost her phone recently so I have no contact with her now. I still haven't deleted the pictures of us though. That's much to hard right now. I'll get there eventually. It just feels like I'm erasing her from my life every time I try to do it. And it's not a nice feeling but in reality, you have to erase her from your life because its the only way you'll ever move on.

If deleting her is too difficult, try ignoring some of her messages every now and then, the way she does to you. When the soreness of rejection is gone, you'll be left with enough strength to move on completely. We both will, I'm sure of it.


Thanks mate it's good talking to someone who is going through the same thing. However that about not clicking doesn't apply to me and her, we clicked straight away and we always have clicked whenever we've spoken that's why I'm so confused.
Original post by Anonymous
Believe me I have tried the cursor has hovered over unfriend but I just can't do it and if I do delete her she would message me wanting to know why, My head is a complete mess.


Why would she message you if shes decided to ignore you?

Write her a letter. yes a paper one amd reasonably express some of how you feel. If she ignores you then just wipe her. There are other people.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks mate it's good talking to someone who is going through the same thing. However that about not clicking doesn't apply to me and her, we clicked straight away and we always have clicked whenever we've spoken that's why I'm so confused.


We clicked too. Were best friends up until recently. However that doesn't mean that you'll click in a romantic sense. Maybe she only ever wanted a friendship.

I was dead certain that she fancied me for a long time. I thought she was always flirting with me. Turns out she had no such feelings and was just being friendly. Sometimes our feelings cloud our judgement.

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