The Student Room Group

Lonely after university... has anyone else experienced this?

Scroll to see replies

Original post by Anonymous
To be honest, I think romantic relationships play a bigger role in people's lives as they get older. They have a bigger role at university than school, and a bigger role in "adult life" than university.

I'm single, and I think that makes the difference tbh. People I know in relationships, that's who the vast vast majority of their "socialising" is with.


I've also thought about so many times!! I mean unless you get involved in some sort of extracurricular activity or get to know more people from the people you already know at school, generally people aren't prone to speak to strangers. Ive been trying to know how do people make friends out of these situations seriuosly
Original post by sr90
I'm very nervous because I know that i'll be the awkward one in the corner not saying anything as i'm too nervous. Are those places actually used by people in their 20s anyway? I guess i'm fearful that i'd go and its full of middle aged single mums and divorced men.



Yeh my friend has recently moved to a new area but it's made no difference to her because she has a boyfriend to spend all her time with. Its like once you finish uni people have their other half and a few long term friends and aren't bothered about meeting anyone else.

As i'm far too ugly to ever get a girl to like me (25 and still yet to have my first kiss or date) it just makes me feel like utter ****.



Because of that last quote about being ugly its kind of sad that you feel that way but a lot of people feel the same as you do so im not trying to be funny but i typed on google dating agencies for blind people and a list of agencies came up so you should sign up with all of them , see what happens.

Sign up with Visually impaired dating- are you looking for a blind person to love
Online dating service for the blind
Blind dating disabled dating 4 u.co. uk
So try those three.

I sent the list of blind agencies to my 2 male and female friends by email because i cant see them ever getting a partner because their not that attractive but i get lots of attention, but it pisses me off because i dont believe i look that good. If there was an agency to meet blind millionaires i would definitely join that.
It might seem weird to do it but its better to try that than worrying about being single forever. Most men can go to Thailand to marry a woman and bring her back to London maybe you can try that too. Or Russian women as im always getting pop ups on my computer about Russian women desperate to meet men but im not a man. Why dont these Thailand and Russian agencies do one for ugly women to meet good looking men too ?

But when im walking down the street and i see so many unattractive men I do feel really sorry men who are ugly if they cant get girlfriends because its easier for women who are not attractive to get blokes. As most men dont care if a woman is not good looking.

But when ever your feeling down i want you to think about Susan Boyle who is still a virgin at 40. She looks awful even with a makeover but now shes a millionaire i still dont think she can get a bloke. Ive seen women on the street that look worse than her but they can still get a man into bed, I dont know how but some people are luckier than others.
So the blind agencies might be your best option and i dont mean blind dates i mean actually meeting up with a woman who is blind or visually impaired

But what one person considers ugly or unattractive another thinks their beautiful
e.g ive never fancied Brad Pitt but every woman on the planet thinks hes hot and i never really fancied Tom Cruise when he was younger but i did when he was 40 and now hes 50 i think hes hot. He doesnt look his age and thats what i like about him. He looks even better in his old age than he did when he was younger

Or if you have a job you can sign up with Seeking arrangement.com as a sugar daddy but that means you pay women to take them out and you decide if you want a woman to sleep with or just take them out socialising.
If you sign up as a sugar baby that means rich women will pay you. You should send your picture to their website just to see if anyone contacts you.

You dont have to take it serious just experiment and see what happens. I signed up last year just for a laugh but i didnt put my pic on their website only because i dont have any and as they come out hideous in pictures unless someone takes lots of them i will only do it if i got pics done by a professional so i can choose a good one.
But i still got 7 men reply to me, i didnt think anyone would.. One man sent me a picture of himself onstage singing, hes from America. But their mainly from Britain. I didnt contact anyone because although its free to sign up and people can still send you their pictures but you cant contact them to meet up unless you pay the company but its worth it if you make lots of money from just going out socialising. Noone has to have sex as some people choose not to do that as its a mutual agreement you discuss before you meet each other.

Type seeking arrangement on You Tube and it shows you people who do it and how much money they can make
If Seeking Arrangement had blind clients then i would do it.
If i had known about it when i was 21 or 25 i wouldnt hesitate to do it and id be rich by now.


Now if your going to complain about the way you look and not having much friends or being lonely then you must leran to take chances and try all these different things.
Original post by jelly1000
You definitley aren't the only one. I finished my Masters in September and still haven't managed to get a job, so some days I only have my parents to talk to in real life. I get to see home friends occasionally- maybe once every couple of months, but for the most part they are busy with work and relationships, and I was never close enough to most of my uni friends to go visit them, just to go and have a coffee with them kinda thing, but now most have gone back to their home towns so I don't get to see them now- I live in London and only have one friend whose come to work here.



Sign up with Citysocializer to make new friends and apply for Trainee recruitment jobs online using Reed , CV Library, Monster websites as they are easy jobs to get, you dont need any experience and they love people with degrees and go into walk in agencies on the street like Reed or other agencies.Theres one in Holloway, Stratford, Victoria
Also theres an online agency called Milk round
or do a fun job like working in a cinema until you get the job you really want to do but you have to apply online although you can just walk in with your cv to
Vue cinema in Islington its oppossttie Angel station but its not visible from the high street its inside some other building like a mini mall. You just have to ask people once your in Islington. But they are the only ones who take cv directly or they used to years ago but any other cinemas you have to apply online
Another way to earn lots of money is to sign up with Seeking arrangement.com
but that is not everyones cup of tea but its an interesting way to make lots of money for practically doing nothing. Look up other peoples experiences of that on You tube
This is the issue with going away for Uni. You develop bonds and maybe a family feel with people so far away smh. Glad I go to a local Uni and fortunately it's a good one so never far away when term has ended and definitely not worried about what to do when I'm done graduating. My only issue is some people are too close like you don't get on with everyone, you never will and I have to separate myself from some people who are nearby, vice versa some feel the need to exclude me. But other than that it's grand going to Uni where people are pretty local.

I'm sure you'll settle in soon, it's not even been a yr and you're only 21 :\
Reply 24
Yes, all the time!

I graduated almost two years ago, and all my friends moved back home, whereas I chose to stay in the city where we all studied. I know people but not well enough that I feel like I can talk to them or meet up for cocktails. I'm in a job which I hate and my colleagues are much older and have different interests than me, so I find it difficult to communicate with them. The only person I really have is my boyfriend!
holy **** guys i'm just a fresher for the next year and you're scaring the **** out of me
Even though I have 5 close friends I'm worried this is gonna happen to me :/
Original post by sr90
I graduated 2 years ago and its been the worst 2 years of my life. I live alone and i'm so lonely, I recently went 5 months without even speaking to another person outside of work. It's driven me to insanity and I just can't cope anymore.

My only friend lives 200 miles away and other than visiting her (which isn't often) my social life is non existent. I don't even have other people to message as all of my uni ''friends'' went travelling or just forgot I existed.

Watching everyone else having fun and loving life whilst i'm stuck doing nothing just makes me feel like utter ****, and the one friend I do have is fed up of me moaning about it.

Hey sr90, any life updates 3 years on? Has life changed? Did you find an avenue for socialising? Or any ways to combat your loneliness?
Original post by suzanasyayavuz
Hey sr90, any life updates 3 years on? Has life changed? Did you find an avenue for socialising? Or any ways to combat your loneliness?

Good lord that post is depressing, but that is how I felt at the time.

At the time I wrote this I was still living in the same area I was as a student when all my friends had left. In hindsight it was a massive mistake because I was clinging on to the past when I should have been moving forward. As soon as I got out and moved somewhere new things started to improve both personally and professionally.

Another part of it was simply getting used to my new situation. When you start working full time and progressing in life things change. I've found new hobbies, developed existing ones but the main thing for me was simply being in a better place in life. That enabled me to be more confident talking to people and in turn being more approachable to them - because I knew I was a good person with plenty to offer as a friend.

I don't have as many people in my life as i'd like, but I have a lot more friends than I did when I made that post.

My advice to anyone who feels like I did is to do what I did. It was the best thing I could have done.
Original post by sr90
Good lord that post is depressing, but that is how I felt at the time.

At the time I wrote this I was still living in the same area I was as a student when all my friends had left. In hindsight it was a massive mistake because I was clinging on to the past when I should have been moving forward. As soon as I got out and moved somewhere new things started to improve both personally and professionally.

Another part of it was simply getting used to my new situation. When you start working full time and progressing in life things change. I've found new hobbies, developed existing ones but the main thing for me was simply being in a better place in life. That enabled me to be more confident talking to people and in turn being more approachable to them - because I knew I was a good person with plenty to offer as a friend.

I don't have as many people in my life as i'd like, but I have a lot more friends than I did when I made that post.

My advice to anyone who feels like I did is to do what I did. It was the best thing I could have done.

Amazing to hear <3 I bet in 3 more years you'll be even more grounded - its always good to see the before and after for everyone feeling hopeless (including myself lol)
Reply 30
I completely understand this. The only friends I have are from uni as all the other friends I had before uni just ignored me as soon as I started my course. My small group of friends live all over the country and I have no one at home. I’m currently looking for job but that’s making things worse. I understand completely how you Feel as I don’t have any friends my age that want to hang out with me. You’re not alone!
Reply 31
Original post by suzanasyayavuz
Amazing to hear <3 I bet in 3 more years you'll be even more grounded - its always good to see the before and after for everyone feeling hopeless (including myself lol)

I’m so glad you’re in a better place now :smile: I hope you continue to be in the future! X

Quick Reply

Latest