I hate looking 'cute' and 'innocent' I want to look SEXY :(
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Listen, you've got it a lot better than some! Some girls don't even get the privilege of looking cute! Being cute is a compliment, and there's absolutely no reason why it can't mean you're sexually attractive.
Often when people have these issues, it's not actually the real issue, but is used as a bit of a cop out, an excuse.
I'd hazard a guess that your real issue is your lack of confidence, the fact that you don't feel you can be properly sexual, is an issue of yours, not of mens!
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's the fact that men find you too cute and young to be sexual that's the problem, I think the issue is that you find yourself too young and cute to be sexual. That is the turn off, not what you look like. If you don't find yourself mature enough to be sexual, guys will pick up on that.
I confess I used to feel like you, but i have this absolutely gorgeous friend who looks so young for her age. But that doesn't detract from her attractiveness. And in a way that's made me realise that looking young is not necessarily a bad thing.
The bad thing is your negative attitude to yourself. I also would be weary of wanting an older man, if you feel young and are inexperienced, I think the only type of older men that you would attract are perves tbh.
Often when people have these issues, it's not actually the real issue, but is used as a bit of a cop out, an excuse.
I'd hazard a guess that your real issue is your lack of confidence, the fact that you don't feel you can be properly sexual, is an issue of yours, not of mens!
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's the fact that men find you too cute and young to be sexual that's the problem, I think the issue is that you find yourself too young and cute to be sexual. That is the turn off, not what you look like. If you don't find yourself mature enough to be sexual, guys will pick up on that.
I confess I used to feel like you, but i have this absolutely gorgeous friend who looks so young for her age. But that doesn't detract from her attractiveness. And in a way that's made me realise that looking young is not necessarily a bad thing.
The bad thing is your negative attitude to yourself. I also would be weary of wanting an older man, if you feel young and are inexperienced, I think the only type of older men that you would attract are perves tbh.
Original post by Anonymous
I appreciate your advice but I don't believe the 'right guy' will just come along. I'm heading to 30 and never been in a proper relationship and these things don't just fall into your lap. My best years have gone down the toilet.
As for the whole grateful when you are older... Well I'm older and not grateful. I'd rather look my age like everyone else and be in a normal relationship.
Well this year I've been meeting guys at mutual interest groups, but nothing has really come of it. Now it's the same stagnant circles I may have to branch out a bit. I don't club or drink and I rarely go to bars. I go the gym regularly and I see men looking but they never approach me so I guess they are just curious rather than attracted to me. Plus my dad goes to my gym with me sometimes haha.
As for the whole grateful when you are older... Well I'm older and not grateful. I'd rather look my age like everyone else and be in a normal relationship.
Well this year I've been meeting guys at mutual interest groups, but nothing has really come of it. Now it's the same stagnant circles I may have to branch out a bit. I don't club or drink and I rarely go to bars. I go the gym regularly and I see men looking but they never approach me so I guess they are just curious rather than attracted to me. Plus my dad goes to my gym with me sometimes haha.
I'd be willing to give it a shot.
Original post by Impressive
Oh dear I'm really not good at this, am I?
Original post by Zarek
Don't under estimate the power of 'girl next door' well played. And of course you can then transform yourself in to a TIGER in the bedroom. Plus, surely it's easy to vamp it up a bit with choice of clothing and lifestyle. Get a bad girl coach..
But how do I even get in the bed room if I'm just the girl next door?
Wow I would love a bad girl coach.... Do they actually exist? If so where do I sign up?
Original post by ANM775
For a man I would suggest you go to the gym and beef up increasing his masculinity, as this will help to get the opposite sex to see you a bit more of "hot" than "cute"
for a girl who is cute, you would do well to wear more sexy clothing, loose any pigtails, show more clevage, start wearing heels ..etc.
HOWEVER, your case is a bit different. you mention you still look like a teenager and want to attract older men, some as old as 40. You also say that the men in this age group who are interested in you only want to "corrupt" [I love your choice of vocabulary btw] you due to your young innocent teenage appearance.
I'm sorry to say this but the majority of 40 year old men who are interested in teenagers ARE looking to corrupt them. Dressing sexily will just make you look more corruptable to this age group.
yes, there will be a small amount of men in this age group who have honorable intentions and feelings but good luck finding them. you'll definately need it.
I would suggest working on meet males through social cricle or something where you have mutual people in common, and he isn't just some random guy in a club/bar.
If I am approaching a girl in a bar/club or something, I do not always have "pure" intentions.Sometimes I would like to make her my gf, other times i'm not sure and have the mindset of dating but nothing serious, other times i am only looking for sex. Would i pretend i wanted a relationship if i wanted sex and this girl was only open to relationships. not in all cases, but in some cases i might.
would i pretend i wanted a relationship if i wanted sex and this girl was only open to relationships and the girl was in my social group or extended social group or someone who i actually knew and we had mutual people we know?
NEVER.
People who I know are given more respect, so I would not be deceitful like that. If I wanted sex and the girl was giving me the impression she wants a relationship I would not try and get sex from her. If I did deceive a girl like that i would incur the wrath of the social group and may even loose friends over it.
most men will not deceive a girl in their social groups either. So I would suggest you try and meet men who you ONLY are linked in some way to socially, as this will filter out much of the men who do not have pure intentions.
if you are doing so you need to stop approaching older men in bars or you are gonna get pumped and dumped.
also you've got to consider going for men more in your own age group or a bit younger as these guys are less likely to want to corrupt you. you might have start being open to 22 year olds if guys your age arn't interested all you can do is play the hand you are dealt. I look a lot younger than my age too. women my age generally arn't too interested and i end up dating girls significantly younger than me ..for the simple reason that girls my own age just arn't that receptive to dating me.
for a girl who is cute, you would do well to wear more sexy clothing, loose any pigtails, show more clevage, start wearing heels ..etc.
HOWEVER, your case is a bit different. you mention you still look like a teenager and want to attract older men, some as old as 40. You also say that the men in this age group who are interested in you only want to "corrupt" [I love your choice of vocabulary btw] you due to your young innocent teenage appearance.
I'm sorry to say this but the majority of 40 year old men who are interested in teenagers ARE looking to corrupt them. Dressing sexily will just make you look more corruptable to this age group.
yes, there will be a small amount of men in this age group who have honorable intentions and feelings but good luck finding them. you'll definately need it.
I would suggest working on meet males through social cricle or something where you have mutual people in common, and he isn't just some random guy in a club/bar.
If I am approaching a girl in a bar/club or something, I do not always have "pure" intentions.Sometimes I would like to make her my gf, other times i'm not sure and have the mindset of dating but nothing serious, other times i am only looking for sex. Would i pretend i wanted a relationship if i wanted sex and this girl was only open to relationships. not in all cases, but in some cases i might.
would i pretend i wanted a relationship if i wanted sex and this girl was only open to relationships and the girl was in my social group or extended social group or someone who i actually knew and we had mutual people we know?
NEVER.
People who I know are given more respect, so I would not be deceitful like that. If I wanted sex and the girl was giving me the impression she wants a relationship I would not try and get sex from her. If I did deceive a girl like that i would incur the wrath of the social group and may even loose friends over it.
most men will not deceive a girl in their social groups either. So I would suggest you try and meet men who you ONLY are linked in some way to socially, as this will filter out much of the men who do not have pure intentions.
if you are doing so you need to stop approaching older men in bars or you are gonna get pumped and dumped.
also you've got to consider going for men more in your own age group or a bit younger as these guys are less likely to want to corrupt you. you might have start being open to 22 year olds if guys your age arn't interested all you can do is play the hand you are dealt. I look a lot younger than my age too. women my age generally arn't too interested and i end up dating girls significantly younger than me ..for the simple reason that girls my own age just arn't that receptive to dating me.
Oh no I don't approach men in bars,and I don't drink. Only men I know from my social circles. I've spoken to a few and they weren't really interested and ended up sleeping with the same chick who is quite outgoing, not pretty at all but they are all madly in love with her. I'm like dang, why can't I have that? That quality that just hooks the guys in. I don't even know if it's 'hotness' or sexiness' because honestly this woman for example is renowned for being stuck up, outspoken and sleeping her way up the ladder even with taken men and doesn't look after herself at all physically she's always guzzling junk food. And yet they eat out of her hand. Okay I'm sound entitled now but I just don't understand... Is the sex that good or something?
Any how forget them. I need to expand myself socially now as things are getting a bit stagnant with the men there.
That's nice that it works out for you and you can date younger women. I really don't want to date younger men because I look younger. In fact I will not date someone younger than 25 and that's that. As I said my ideal is 30+ but I don't meet as many guys in this age group as I would like to.
Original post by RivalPlayer
Watch 'Lorraine' on ITV1 and embrace the fashion/style advice.
I don't watch that but doesn't she give fashion advice for older women? Oh... I see where you are going with this.
Aw how cute!! Cutie wants to be all grown up don't you :*
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Twinpeaks
Listen, you've got it a lot better than some! Some girls don't even get the privilege of looking cute! Being cute is a compliment, and there's absolutely no reason why it can't mean you're sexually attractive.
Often when people have these issues, it's not actually the real issue, but is used as a bit of a cop out, an excuse.
I'd hazard a guess that your real issue is your lack of confidence, the fact that you don't feel you can be properly sexual, is an issue of yours, not of mens!
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's the fact that men find you too cute and young to be sexual that's the problem, I think the issue is that you find yourself too young and cute to be sexual. That is the turn off, not what you look like. If you don't find yourself mature enough to be sexual, guys will pick up on that.
I confess I used to feel like you, but i have this absolutely gorgeous friend who looks so young for her age. But that doesn't detract from her attractiveness. And in a way that's made me realise that looking young is not necessarily a bad thing.
The bad thing is your negative attitude to yourself. I also would be weary of wanting an older man, if you feel young and are inexperienced, I think the only type of older men that you would attract are perves tbh.
Often when people have these issues, it's not actually the real issue, but is used as a bit of a cop out, an excuse.
I'd hazard a guess that your real issue is your lack of confidence, the fact that you don't feel you can be properly sexual, is an issue of yours, not of mens!
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's the fact that men find you too cute and young to be sexual that's the problem, I think the issue is that you find yourself too young and cute to be sexual. That is the turn off, not what you look like. If you don't find yourself mature enough to be sexual, guys will pick up on that.
I confess I used to feel like you, but i have this absolutely gorgeous friend who looks so young for her age. But that doesn't detract from her attractiveness. And in a way that's made me realise that looking young is not necessarily a bad thing.
The bad thing is your negative attitude to yourself. I also would be weary of wanting an older man, if you feel young and are inexperienced, I think the only type of older men that you would attract are perves tbh.
Hmm maybe I need to be more like your friend and embrace it. I think I am kind of making excuses. I think I'm scared of being sexual and it shows beyond my young appearance. I suppose to many men it sticks out like a sore thumb when a woman is not comfortable in herself and her sexuality. How do I even go about changing that?
Oh I'm definitely watching out for older creepy men.
Original post by Anonymous
I'd be willing to give it a shot.
Too bad we are both anons then
Original post by eden3
Just be grateful you're not ugly. It's a lot worse, trust me...
i wouldn't mind being ugly so long as I had a partner. Maybe I am ugly though I don't know. I don't scare small children so I think it's okay.
Original post by Limerence.
Yes, I want to be a big girl so bad
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Some guys find innocent looking girls sexy. If she's innocent looking and classy but a slag in the bedroom then the guy's life is complete
This is true
Original post by Anonymous
What can I do?
I'm really sick of being called 'cute' and people saying I look 'innocent' when I'm closer to 30 years old than 20.
I'm often put in what I would call the little sister zone even by men that are younger than me. Men don't take me seriously and they infantilize and desexualize me. There hasn't been a single occasion where a guy hasn't called me 'cute' when we got talking and they always end up going with a woman who is actually hot in the end.
I don't even feel like I can be a grown woman or fully sexual because I look like a young teenager. I prefer and want to date older men (aged 30-40) but the only ones that approach me are perverts who think I'm underage get off on that. I've tried dressing older, wearing heels, smart tailored clothes, red lipstick etc. but it doesn't work not to mention that I look like a girl who raided mummy's closet. Basically I look like a 'try hard' and it's so frustrating.
I have never been in a proper relationship. I am at the age now where if I don't get going soon it may be too late for me to have companionship and a family and to be honest I'd rather kill myself than be a cat lady. I know if I were smoking hot I would have men eating out of the palm of my hand, not that I aim for that but what I'm saying is I would have the future I dream of laid out for me just like I would just have to lye back and take my pick!
I just want a nice, wholesome guy who I can care for. Even if I do the approaching first they always go off in the direction of some bad-ass chick (I'm sorry I'm tired, can't think of another word) who usually treats them like rubbish and nags. Seems that's the kind of woman they want and that ropes them in and deep down that's what I think I am going to have to become to get anywhere in the life. If any guy is attracted to innocence like I seemly have that is only to corrupt it and take advantage i.e. the bad guys and that's not what I'm interested I run for the hills.
TL;DR I'm in my mid/late 20s innocent looking, men desexualise me and hence don't see me as relationship material. I'm thinking of trying to look like the opposite and increase my sex appeal. What can I do? Attitude, clothes etc?
I'm sorry that was so long. Please help me before I have to start buying the cats x
I'm really sick of being called 'cute' and people saying I look 'innocent' when I'm closer to 30 years old than 20.
I'm often put in what I would call the little sister zone even by men that are younger than me. Men don't take me seriously and they infantilize and desexualize me. There hasn't been a single occasion where a guy hasn't called me 'cute' when we got talking and they always end up going with a woman who is actually hot in the end.
I don't even feel like I can be a grown woman or fully sexual because I look like a young teenager. I prefer and want to date older men (aged 30-40) but the only ones that approach me are perverts who think I'm underage get off on that. I've tried dressing older, wearing heels, smart tailored clothes, red lipstick etc. but it doesn't work not to mention that I look like a girl who raided mummy's closet. Basically I look like a 'try hard' and it's so frustrating.
I have never been in a proper relationship. I am at the age now where if I don't get going soon it may be too late for me to have companionship and a family and to be honest I'd rather kill myself than be a cat lady. I know if I were smoking hot I would have men eating out of the palm of my hand, not that I aim for that but what I'm saying is I would have the future I dream of laid out for me just like I would just have to lye back and take my pick!
I just want a nice, wholesome guy who I can care for. Even if I do the approaching first they always go off in the direction of some bad-ass chick (I'm sorry I'm tired, can't think of another word) who usually treats them like rubbish and nags. Seems that's the kind of woman they want and that ropes them in and deep down that's what I think I am going to have to become to get anywhere in the life. If any guy is attracted to innocence like I seemly have that is only to corrupt it and take advantage i.e. the bad guys and that's not what I'm interested I run for the hills.
TL;DR I'm in my mid/late 20s innocent looking, men desexualise me and hence don't see me as relationship material. I'm thinking of trying to look like the opposite and increase my sex appeal. What can I do? Attitude, clothes etc?
I'm sorry that was so long. Please help me before I have to start buying the cats x
I'm sorry, sweetie. you're british! theres nothing you can do!
Grow a beard and wear musky old woman perfume
[QUOTE=Anonymous;64718025]Oh dear I'm really not good at this, am I?
But how do I even get in the bed room if I'm just the girl next door?
Wow I would love a bad girl coach.... Do they actually exist? If so where do I sign up?
Counterintuitively everyone wants to go to bed with the girl next door, because of her adorable wholesomeness and top class potential as a good mother for their children. On the bad girl coaching, I guess there's not an occupation, but I'm sure you could find an accomplished practitioner to give you a few tips. Start by drinking pints and surprising people with some swearing. By the way, you have a good sense of humour which is an attractive trait and in my experience useful in the dating game. Keep at it and success will come. Good luck
But how do I even get in the bed room if I'm just the girl next door?
Wow I would love a bad girl coach.... Do they actually exist? If so where do I sign up?
Counterintuitively everyone wants to go to bed with the girl next door, because of her adorable wholesomeness and top class potential as a good mother for their children. On the bad girl coaching, I guess there's not an occupation, but I'm sure you could find an accomplished practitioner to give you a few tips. Start by drinking pints and surprising people with some swearing. By the way, you have a good sense of humour which is an attractive trait and in my experience useful in the dating game. Keep at it and success will come. Good luck
Original post by Anonymous
What can I do?
I'm really sick of being called 'cute' and people saying I look 'innocent' when I'm closer to 30 years old than 20.
I'm often put in what I would call the little sister zone even by men that are younger than me. Men don't take me seriously and they infantilize and desexualize me. There hasn't been a single occasion where a guy hasn't called me 'cute' when we got talking and they always end up going with a woman who is actually hot in the end.
I don't even feel like I can be a grown woman or fully sexual because I look like a young teenager. I prefer and want to date older men (aged 30-40) but the only ones that approach me are perverts who think I'm underage get off on that. I've tried dressing older, wearing heels, smart tailored clothes, red lipstick etc. but it doesn't work not to mention that I look like a girl who raided mummy's closet. Basically I look like a 'try hard' and it's so frustrating.
I have never been in a proper relationship. I am at the age now where if I don't get going soon it may be too late for me to have companionship and a family and to be honest I'd rather kill myself than be a cat lady. I know if I were smoking hot I would have men eating out of the palm of my hand, not that I aim for that but what I'm saying is I would have the future I dream of laid out for me just like I would just have to lye back and take my pick!
I just want a nice, wholesome guy who I can care for. Even if I do the approaching first they always go off in the direction of some bad-ass chick (I'm sorry I'm tired, can't think of another word) who usually treats them like rubbish and nags. Seems that's the kind of woman they want and that ropes them in and deep down that's what I think I am going to have to become to get anywhere in the life. If any guy is attracted to innocence like I seemly have that is only to corrupt it and take advantage i.e. the bad guys and that's not what I'm interested I run for the hills.
TL;DR I'm in my mid/late 20s innocent looking, men desexualise me and hence don't see me as relationship material. I'm thinking of trying to look like the opposite and increase my sex appeal. What can I do? Attitude, clothes etc?
I'm sorry that was so long. Please help me before I have to start buying the cats x
I'm really sick of being called 'cute' and people saying I look 'innocent' when I'm closer to 30 years old than 20.
I'm often put in what I would call the little sister zone even by men that are younger than me. Men don't take me seriously and they infantilize and desexualize me. There hasn't been a single occasion where a guy hasn't called me 'cute' when we got talking and they always end up going with a woman who is actually hot in the end.
I don't even feel like I can be a grown woman or fully sexual because I look like a young teenager. I prefer and want to date older men (aged 30-40) but the only ones that approach me are perverts who think I'm underage get off on that. I've tried dressing older, wearing heels, smart tailored clothes, red lipstick etc. but it doesn't work not to mention that I look like a girl who raided mummy's closet. Basically I look like a 'try hard' and it's so frustrating.
I have never been in a proper relationship. I am at the age now where if I don't get going soon it may be too late for me to have companionship and a family and to be honest I'd rather kill myself than be a cat lady. I know if I were smoking hot I would have men eating out of the palm of my hand, not that I aim for that but what I'm saying is I would have the future I dream of laid out for me just like I would just have to lye back and take my pick!
I just want a nice, wholesome guy who I can care for. Even if I do the approaching first they always go off in the direction of some bad-ass chick (I'm sorry I'm tired, can't think of another word) who usually treats them like rubbish and nags. Seems that's the kind of woman they want and that ropes them in and deep down that's what I think I am going to have to become to get anywhere in the life. If any guy is attracted to innocence like I seemly have that is only to corrupt it and take advantage i.e. the bad guys and that's not what I'm interested I run for the hills.
TL;DR I'm in my mid/late 20s innocent looking, men desexualise me and hence don't see me as relationship material. I'm thinking of trying to look like the opposite and increase my sex appeal. What can I do? Attitude, clothes etc?
I'm sorry that was so long. Please help me before I have to start buying the cats x
As for myself, being cute doesn't preclude being sexy. I'm very childlike in personality, myself (even though I'm very sexual as well), and so would feel more like I'm in a relationship with an equal if I was with someone who looked childlike - if that makes sense. Also, being cute would mean I would be more inclined to want to hold and cuddle you, surely that's not a bad thing?
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