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Need advice... How to get over all this.

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    • Thread Starter

    Basically, I have been pretty close to someone since last July but last week, I found out they lied to my face about something when I asked them for the truth about a week and a half ago before.. I don't like liars and because of this, I have cut them off. I also told them when I asked for the truth before I would rather hear the truth even if it's something I don't want to hear because that is something I would respect but yet they still lied to me...

    Since then, I have to admit it has now escalated when their friend got involved in the situation which caused me to have a go at them. They didn't reply and since then blocked me on Instagram. (I already blocked him on Facebook)

    We did work together but I am planning to move to Lincoln because I can't bear to run into him and I heard he has got a new job starting soon... Now I have heard this information, it's starting to hit home that me and him probably will never talk again. I am angry at him for lying to me and I am hurt because I feel used. (He's got back with his ex girlfriend after months of me completely supporting him, falling for him, and us two becoming really close) but now I am starting to miss him "/.

    Half of me wants to try and write a letter to explain why I acted the way I did at least... Try and explain my part of the story (I said he has to either tell this ex gf the truth or I will -- you can't try again with someone one if you are not honest with them right?) but then half of me knows if I do that, then I am admitting I am wrong and saying it was okay for him to lie to me.

    I basically really want to not care about this situation but I don't know how? This is someone who I had basically everything in common with, who I felt emotionally connected too and did have fun with. I feel like in a way I have lost a bit of myself. The friendship was heading south for a while and I would be lying to say I ain't done stuff wrong but he did admit before that at times he has treated me like **** too... Both probably as bad as each other.

    Any advice on this situation would be much appreciated..
    • Thread Starter

    Plus, I also bought him a phone to use since I felt guilty because his other one dropped on my laptop and broke. I am tempted to just post it through the door since I have no use for it but then yet again... I am not sure?? :/

    I wonder whether it is a fact that he lied, not a false statement that he made, and whether you are aware of the reasons he acted in this way.

    I used to be quick to conclude that some people in my world were lying and get annoyed because of this. One day I realised that if I just assumed that some of them were lying because they feared my reaction -some people just hate anything like a confrontation- I felt better about it. It's still a lie, but the context made me more accepting.

    It's for you to decide what behaviour of his you will put up, but you may be wanting a reconciliation, in which case why not start building bridges and hope he responds?

    Personally if someone breaks my trust it takes a great deal of effort on their part to get it back, otherwise like you I cut off all contact.

    If you want to reconcile, make one last effort to talk it over. Noticed I highlighted the word talk; don't argue, just chat civilly and see if both of you can express yourselves without a fuss.

    If that doesn't work or you don't want to reconcile, proceed with keeping him blocking and enforcing no contact. Time and space will help you heal from this friendship/crush.
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