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Muslims, if your child came out as gay?

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Original post by Anonymous
I understand in society today it seems as if you oppose or question this view you are bobarded with hate. I also have the thought I the back of my mind that if gay relationships are natural why can they not reproduce. In an evolutionary sense it does not make sense because the drive every human has inside them is to survive and reproduce ( obviously I'm not being homophobic and sorry if I sound ignorant, I'm just curious)


Yeah , if i ever said anything like this at my sixth form, i'd probably be getting a lot of hate. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion.
Original post by ByronicHero
I'd far rather my child come out as gay than come out as Muslim.


:mmm:
I'm not Muslim but it would take some getting used to because there hasn't been any homosexuality in my family as of yet. I wouldn't disown him/her. There's worse things out there so I would have to accept it
Original post by ByronicHero
I'd far rather my child come out as gay than come out as Muslim.


This is a weird thing to say. The whole point of being so accepting of different sexualities is to not judge someone for who they are, so by you saying you would prefer them not to be Muslim, aren't you being hypocritical? :colonhash:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Hydeman
All the evidence suggests that Adam and Eve, as described in the Abrahamic religions, never existed. It doesn't negate your otherwise beautiful, fallacious appeal to nature, but it's an important point nonetheless because this is what you seem to think is a good premise from which to draw a conclusion about homosexuality.


I appreciate your respectful reply .
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by ZuluK
How do you answer Hydeman, to the OP? I know you're Muslim but...


I'll assume that's a typo, since you already know I'm not. :tongue:

I would be accepting, though I won't deny that I would be slightly uneasy because of all that I've been conditioned to regard as 'normal' during my upbringing. But hey, principle over emotion, any day, every day. :biggrin:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by cherryred90s
This is a weird thing to say. The whole point of being so accepting of different sexualities is to not judge someone for who they are and who they choose to be with, so by you saying you would prefer them not to be Muslim, aren't you being hypocritical? :colonhash:


I generally don't believe people choose to be gay. I believe that people become gay as a result of both nature and nurture (very possibly even more the latter) but that it is rarely - if ever - a choice. So I would reject your statement on that basis alone.

Beyond this, though, there is more to be said. I wouldn't want my child to subscribe an anachronistic moral standard predicated on nonsense. I would still love my child were they to decide to become one, but it would be entirely disingenuous of me to suggest that I would be happy with my child adopting an ideological position that I find abhorrent. I equally wouldn't want them to be a Tory, or to be a Catholic. I'd rather them be some moderate flavour of one of these than an extreme flavour of some other pernicious sect, sure, but I consider organised religion to be a tumour that is sometimes benign, but far too often malignant. I would rather my child play no part in that.
Who cares, it's their life. You disowning them is only going to make them hate you, which for all parents is the last thing you want. If they're happy being gay, so be it.
Original post by BasicMistake
So which is it?


My dad's Hindu and my mum's atheist. I've been raised in a pretty secular household, unlike my cousin.
Original post by ByronicHero
I generally don't believe people choose to be gay. I believe that people become gay as a result of both nature and nurture (very possibly even more the latter) but that it is rarely - if ever - a choice. So I would reject your statement on that basis alone.

Beyond this, though, there is more to be said. I wouldn't want my child to subscribe an anachronistic moral standard predicated on nonsense. I would still love my child were they to decide to become one, but it would be entirely disingenuous of me to suggest that I would be happy with my child adopting an ideological position that I find abhorrent. I equally wouldn't want them to be a Tory, or to be a Catholic. I'd rather them be some moderate flavour of one of these than an extreme flavour of some other pernicious sect, sure, but I consider organised religion to be a tumour that is sometimes benign, but far too often malignant. I would rather my child play no part in that.


I don't believe people choose to be gay either but the principle isn't that different. Feeling like you belong as part of a religion but being afraid to tell your parents through fear of being judged or disowned isn't much different to refraining from coming out through fear of the same thing. Either way, both can lead to severe unhappiness stemming from suppressing a part of who/what you feel you are.
Original post by donutellme
I have no vendetta against homosexual people. It goes without saying that they are same as any other person. But I do believe this is an undesirable trait, something that I wouldn't want in my children for many reasons, foremost among them being that I simply find it odd. (+ I find it shocking to imagine my son getting pounded by some guy)


Your daughter might be into some really kinky **** either way.

I mean your gay son might be into some incredibly vanilla and whilst your straight daughter could be into some femdom, furry, strap_on bdsm stuff.
Original post by cherryred90s
I don't believe people choose to be gay either but the principle isn't that different. Feeling like you belong as part of a religion but being afraid to tell your parents through fear of being judged or disowned isn't much different to refraining from coming out through fear of the same thing. Either way, both can lead to severe unhappiness stemming from suppressing a part of who/what you feel you are.


Yes but you have reached a conclusion I did not provide much foundation for. Preferring somebody does not do X is not at all the same thing as disowning someone because they do X. My children will, I hope, know they can tell me anything without me being unduly angry. I have lived a very varied life full of many many mistakes that I do not want my children to replicate, but that doesn't mean I am going to disown them if they do the same things. Life is a process - I know that as well as anyone - and I don't expect anyone to make all of the right choices. I would, however, want my children to be happy. As such, I would prefer they not make decisions that I felt would limit their ability to experience everything life has to offer. A parent's job is to educate their children so they they can make informed choices. Please don't conclude that my child making what I consider to be the "wrong" choices would make me love them any less as (I hope) that simply won't be the case.

As an aside, I fully intend to encourage open dialogue about anything with my children. There will not be any taboo subjects in my house :nope:

This is all assuming I have children; currently I barely manage to look after myself :tongue:
Not Muslim but I've been raised in a culture where coming out is considered to bring shame to the family. If any of my kids came out, I'd support them no matter what and if anyone tried to tell them they're worthless or a disgrace, I'd make their life a living hell.
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Not really. Havin kids means that you have to form an emotional attachment with the lady your havin the kids with. This means that even though you could possibly be sacrificin everything for this woman , She could backstab you at any moment.

My second point is that kids are fun to have when theyre young. When theyre older though they turn into little shits. ive seen it alot. When your old your kids wont even want to come and visit you. Theyll put you in a carehome without a second thought and will wait for their inheritance the second you die.
These good enough reasons?
Original post by garfeeled
Your daughter might be into some really kinky **** either way.

I mean your gay son might be into some incredibly vanilla and whilst your straight daughter could be into some femdom, furry, strap_on bdsm stuff.


I know :frown: Ah well.
Original post by ByronicHero
Yes but you have reached a conclusion I did not provide much foundation for. Preferring somebody does not do X is not at all the same thing as disowning someone because they do X. My children will, I hope, know they can tell me anything without me being unduly angry. I have lived a very varied life full of many many mistakes that I do not want my children to replicate, but that doesn't mean I am going to disown them if they do the same things. Life is a process - I know that as well as anyone - and I don't expect anyone to make all of the right choices. I would, however, want my children to be happy. As such, I would prefer they not make decisions that I felt would limit their ability to experience everything life has to offer. A parent's job is to educate their children so they they can make informed choices. Please don't conclude that my child making what I consider to be the "wrong" choices would make me love them any less as (I hope) that simply won't be the case.

As an aside, I fully intend to encourage open dialogue about anything with my children. There will not be any taboo subjects in my house :nope:

This is all assuming I have children; currently I barely manage to look after myself :tongue:


From what I've just read, I'm sure you'll make a great parent one day :biggrin:
I would hug my child and praise him/her for being so brave. I'd then take my child out to a restaurant or shopping lol. ^^
I think a lot of people commenting on here that she should completely cut ties with her parents don't necessarily understand just how hard it is to cut off a person who raised, not matter how horrible the thing they've done is.

I've recently gone through this (not because I'm gay) and feel guilty every day about the parent I've cut off, but I was left with no choice.

I do understand however, that it is completely unfathomable to disown your child because of who they love.

I'm not religious but I wouldn't describe myself as an atheist either, so maybe I have no to right to say that a parent should never disown a child because of religion because I simply don't understand religion. That being said, I completely reject the argument that being gay is "gods test". I think that's a stupid, unacceptable excuse for homophobia.

I think we are becoming a much more accepting world, but there are still big battles to fight for the LGBT community, and you don't have to be a part of that community by sexuality to help with te fight.
Of course I would still love them,

it's not like they killed someone for gods sake
Original post by Lord Samosa
1) I wouldn't disown them for being gay and being attracted to their own gender. I wouldn't try to force them to be straight or something

2) but I'd explain that they can't act upon it (have gay sex), as a Muslim.



Is that more clear? :redface:


that's for him or her to decide, not you. My best friend is a gay muslim who has gay sex and still considers himself a true and loving servant of allah

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