I think I might have a really bad anxiety problem. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing majorly wrong and that I was ok and that I can get through this, but I keep breaking down and getting panic attacks. Today was horrible, because I was going to the doctor's on the bus and the bus journey was taking such a long time and I knew I was going to be late. I know it's not a big deal but I think I had a panic attack and felt so guilty about being late that I scratched myself on the my arms, which I know sounds stupid, but I always do it when I'm anxious and guilty.
I went into the doctor's afterwards because even though I was too late for my appointment I didn't know what to do, and I spoke with one of the doctors because I was still panicking when I got there and she said that I did have a panic attack and that I need help and that I should go to counselling again. There is this job want to do next year but the doctors say that it's so stressful that I won't be able to handle it the way I am, and I think they're right, but I feel terrible because I hare letting this get in the way of my life and I wish I could be strong and be able to deal with things like everyone else can.
I think I have a guilt complex or something, because I feel guilty all the time. I know I should get help, but I'm worried, because when I was in the doctor's today they were asking me so many questions and it was horrible, and they want me to go again tomorrow and take my mum, but I really don't want my parents to know, because my sister has problems with depression and self harming and they already have enough to worry about with her.
I also feel worried because they asked me if I'd been mistreated at home, which I haven't, but I don't want my parents to get into trouble. There is no reason for me to feel like this; my parents are together, I've never been abused, my parents are really supportive, I've always done well in school, and I don't know why I would be feeling like this and I feel so guilty for being a burden and wasting everyone's time.
Sorry that went on so long; I just had to write this all down somewhere. It's ok if you don't have any advice. Thank you
Anxiety and feeling guilty all the time
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