The Student Room Group

Can a guy be scared of the girl he likes?

As the title says is it possible for a guy to seem almost terrified of a girl he really likes? And if so what is the reason for this? Guys have you ever felt like that about a girl you like?
Yes. The guy might want you but knows hes too busy or something with school work
Yes, it's completely possible, just like it is with girls.
One example of where I've seen this is when he thinks a girl is 'out of his league' and fears he'll mess up if he confronts her, and it can also be caused by a fear of rejection. I've found it's mainly the shy guys who have this problem, rather than the confident ones, but I suppose both can experience this 'fear'
yes; completely normal - don't worry, act casual
Reply 4
Original post by EmEternal2
Yes, it's completely possible, just like it is with girls.
One example of where I've seen this is when he thinks a girl is 'out of his league' and fears he'll mess up if he confronts her, and it can also be caused by a fear of rejection. I've found it's mainly the shy guys who have this problem, rather than the confident ones, but I suppose both can experience this 'fear'


He is a flirt with other girls though it's just me he seems so awkward around and can't bare to be near so it would seem unlikely that he's shy and he most definitely is out of my league.
Reply 5
Certainly possible to have massive romantic apprehension pre going out. I always had an attraction for girls with an untamed wild streak, that has given me some fear when dating too.
might not necessarily be scared but intimidated maybe?
Reply 7
Original post by jawsontheflooor
might not necessarily be scared but intimidated maybe?

Yeah, perhaps scared isn't the correct word. He just avoids being near me and couldnt approach our mutual friends because I was with them.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, perhaps scared isn't the correct word. He just avoids being near me and couldnt approach our mutual friends because I was with them.

Yeah it must be intimidation then, it's even worse when there's a group around you
or maybe he just doesn't like you in that way ?
Reply 9
Original post by jawsontheflooor
Yeah it must be intimidation then, it's even worse when there's a group around you
or maybe he just doesn't like you in that way ?

I'm pretty certain he does like me in that way, there have been a lot of signs when he's in a position where he doesn't have to talk to me and I've got a reliable source that says he's interested yet he just can't come near me.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm pretty certain he does like me in that way, there have been a lot of signs when he's in a position where he doesn't have to talk to me and I've got a reliable source that says he's interested yet he just can't come near me.

haha i love that 'reliable source' in that case you could approach him instead of waiting around for him
If they're shitscared of you and you're pretty sure they're interested, you should make the first move

source: am normally the shitscared guy
Original post by jawsontheflooor
haha i love that 'reliable source' in that case you could approach him instead of waiting around for him

I would but he reacted quite badly when a friend wanted to introduce us properly so I can imagine he wouldn't react well to me actively persuing him. I just don't get why he'd be intimidated, he is really clever and attractive and I'm pretty certain a lot of girls would be interested in him
Original post by Retired_Messiah
If they're shitscared of you and you're pretty sure they're interested, you should make the first move

source: am normally the shitscared guy

I would but he reacted badly to a friend wanting to introduce us properly, I get the feeling he would actually run away if I tried a conversation with him alone. I just don't understand why he would feel that way, he is out of my league and I imagine quite popular with girls in general
Original post by Anonymous
I would but he reacted badly to a friend wanting to introduce us properly, I get the feeling he would actually run away if I tried a conversation with him alone. I just don't understand why he would feel that way, he is out of my league and I imagine quite popular with girls in general


Leagues are a concept you shouldn't bother reading much into, it's really quite flawed (I would expand on this point but I cannot be arsed)

Being quite popular with girls "in general" doesn't make any difference. I'm usually to a reasonable point socially competent but if there's somebody I really like I fear my own social awkwardness more than anything else, in effect it's kind of self created and unjustified to a point, but hey-ho.

Try and talk to him on his own anyway, if he has half a brain and is scared because he's attracted to you he won't want to run away because that would potentially make you think he's weird, and he won't want that. Therefore, if he does run either he's dumb and you should have nothing to do with him, orrr he's scared of you for another reason.

In sum: Approaching him is the only way you're really going to get anywhere.
Anyone else have any input? Any guys actually experienced this for a long time, say about 9 months to a year?
Only if he's a pussy.
Original post by EmEternal2
Yes, it's completely possible, just like it is with girls.
One example of where I've seen this is when he thinks a girl is 'out of his league' and fears he'll mess up if he confronts her, and it can also be caused by a fear of rejection. I've found it's mainly the shy guys who have this problem, rather than the confident ones, but I suppose both can experience this 'fear'


clever person
Original post by Anonymous
Anyone else have any input? Any guys actually experienced this for a long time, say about 9 months to a year?


Yeah I am really scared of talking/going up to the girl I really like. But other girls I can ask for their phone numbers if I don't know them, figure that.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I am really scared of talking/going up to the girl I really like. But other girls I can ask for their phone numbers if I don't know them, figure that.

Okay! I'm just trying to figure out if he actually does like me? Do you know why it is your more scared when you really like the girl, Is it just because you don't want to mess up?

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