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Do you think of homosexuality as effeminate?

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Original post by XcitingStuart

1) Homosexual men have a closer psychological make-up to women than non-homosexual men.

Utter nonsense. I'd be very interested to see you tell a gay male in the infantry or special forces that he's "more like a woman".

2) There is an effeminate homosexual culture, which would feminise those who get caught up in it.


There was such a culture that used to be dominant. As has been pointed out, the gay "scene" is more of a curiosity than something meaningful in the lives of the vast majority of gay people.

3) Have a higher proportion of female friends I find (being mostly attracted to men myself as well), where you would unconsciously pick up habits and mannerisms of them (being your friend group, from an analysis of myself.)


Again this is complete crap. Almost all of my friends are guys, both straight and gay. And that's the case for pretty much all of my gay friends.

Is it possible you are projecting?
idk


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Original post by 123moon
What so do you mean you have to be effeminate to be gay?
It is a stereotype and I do believe that stereotypes are based partly on the truth but that's not to say that someone who is a straight male cannot be somewhat effeminate themselves. People in this day and age do not necessarily abide by so called 'codes and convections' of certain stereotypes so just embrace who you are. I am a straight female myself so i apologise if i misinterpreted your argument/view.


Read my whole OP, I'm by no means saying that gay people have to be effeminate. In fact, I'm saying the opposite; that many of us (probably a majority) are just like other guys in mannerism and mindset except that we fancy other dudes
Reply 63
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123moon
8
Original post by Thutmose-III
Read my whole OP, I'm by no means saying that gay people have to be effeminate. In fact, I'm saying the opposite; that many of us (probably a majority) are just like other guys in mannerism and mindset except that we fancy other dudes


And read what I have written this is not an 'attack' on what you had stated in your OP or your opinion. Why make this thread if you are so sure of what you think? and I have apologised if I did misread your point. I have made my view in general and I am adding that hetreosexual guys can also be effeminate and that society has changed, so many men and women can be/act as they choose whatever their sexuality so in theory I do agree with you.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Thutmose-III
Utter nonsense. I'd be very interested to see you tell a gay male in the infantry or special forces that he's "more like a woman".



There was such a culture that used to be dominant. As has been pointed out, the gay "scene" is more of a curiosity than something meaningful in the lives of the vast majority of gay people.



Again this is complete crap. Almost all of my friends are guys, both straight and gay. And that's the case for pretty much all of my gay friends.

Is it possible you are projecting?


Should I do a nice but blunt "everything-you-said-wrong" reply or a passive-aggressive reply? :colonhash:

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Original post by XcitingStuart
Should I do a nice but blunt "everything-you-said-wrong" reply or a passive-aggressive reply? :colonhash:


Take your best shot :smile: I'll try to stifle my giggles
Maybe they hanged around too many females in their life or never were taught how to act less feminine? I knew a gay guy in middle school. Looking back at his behavior now, he was gay. No doubt in my mind. I wouldn't let the lady like gays represent the entire gay male population though. Nothing is completely wrong with being a sassy fierce gay guy though.

Some of those gay celebrities, no one would've thought they're gay if they never stated they were. For the most part, gay dudes are pretty normal. I believe for the most part.

I don't think homosexuality =/= feminine. Although when I watching a Youtuber or hearing a guy I can tell he's gay from his pitch, mannerism, and fashion. Maybe there's a slight connection? The gay guys I seen and kind of know are effeminate and act in a certain way. Sassy like. I think it depends on the person.
(edited 7 years ago)
Some are quite effeminate, some are not. Same goes with straight men, although my guess that gay guys tend to be more effeminate overall.
Original post by ivybridge
Oh, I know! They're my wallpaper haha:


:colone:


Lol have you seen the full-frontal ones?:biggrin::colone:
@Thutmose-III Oops, I totally forgot to reply to you, even though I have the reply on my phone ready for posting. Can you bump me in the morning? Ty.
Reply 70
Avatar for z33
z33
21
cos all the gay youtubers be feminine af :lol:
Original post by squish562
Lol have you seen the full-frontal ones?:biggrin::colone:


Yes :colone:
Original post by squish562
Lol have you seen the full-frontal ones?:biggrin::colone:


Of course if the men are doing it it's not sexist or objectifying at all. I wonder why women aren't doing it...
Original post by ivybridge
Yes :colone:


haha
Original post by Ladbants
Of course if the men are doing it it's not sexist or objectifying at all. I wonder why women aren't doing it...


It is objectification but men haven't been the "issue" for centuries. People always go too far with women. Saying a man is hot or a woman is hot is fine, but it rarely stays there with girls.
Haven't read the whole thread I'm afraid, so sorry if I repeat something someone's already said.

As a gay female, I definitely feel like exposure to 'gay culture', as it were, encouraged me to consider my gender and gender expression as well as my sexuality. Or perhaps, to frame it in a different way, I felt more freedom to explore my gender expression once I identified as gay since it seems to be more socially acceptable to defy gender norms if you're doing it as a gay person as opposed to a straight person. By that, I guess I mean the stereotypes of an effeminate gay man or a butch lesbian make it easier to experiment with gender expression.

I mean, I've never been the girliest of girls, but once I came out I realised that I probably preferred shirts and ties to skirts and heels, and I felt comfortable in expressing myself like that. Part of it is probably that coming to terms with my sexuality involved a lot of introspection and self-examination, which eventually made me realise that pretending to be super 'feminine' wasn't really me. Perhaps I would have realised that if I wasn't gay, perhaps I wouldn't.

So to answer your question, I feel like to a certain extent it's to do with the freedom of expression that tends to accompany being gay? Things are getting better but for men, in particular, it's really hard for a straight man to be effeminate in any way. Gay men, on the other hand, it's more acceptable. Go figure :curious:
Original post by Ladbants
Of course if the men are doing it it's not sexist or objectifying at all. I wonder why women aren't doing it...


They do make a women's calendar as well, but they don't make a nude video for it like for the male rowers
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Not as a rule.
Original post by George VI
I don't think sexuality determines it, but I think some people give in to social pressure and act that way because it is expected of them, there are some guys who are really feminine and more often than not they are also gay.

Original post by ivybridge
No.




Good that at least some people understand that sexuality doesn't determine how you act and behave
You seem to be very negative about camp or 'effeminate' men saying it's not 'respectable'. If a man is camp, feminine etc. he is worth no less and is in no way less 'respectable' than a masculine or macho man. You may not be camp but some people are and that's awesome. If you think that for you to be accepted by heterosexual society that you should **** on other gay men or any other marginalised group then you're a totally ********.
Original post by SmallTownGirl
You seem to be very negative about camp or 'effeminate' men saying it's not 'respectable'. If a man is camp, feminine etc. he is worth no less and is in no way less 'respectable' than a masculine or macho man. You may not be camp but some people are and that's awesome. If you think that for you to be accepted by heterosexual society that you should **** on other gay men or any other marginalised group then you're a totally ********.


If it came across that way I apologise. I'm not trying to delegitimise camp gay men, it takes all sorts and I don't say they shouldn't act that way.

My approach to this is two-fold; first, society has this expectation that gay men are camp and I think that is completely misguided. I believe a majority of modern gay men are not camp, they are comparable to heterosexual men in their mannerisms.

Second, there is a clique in the gay world, particularly around the "scene" and the clubs, that lionises campiness and claims that gay guys who are simply normally masculine are "acting" or trying to be macho and as soon as you get them in bed they're screaming bottoms (their words, not mine).

I don't like this two-pronged offensive both from some heterosexuals and some homosexuals that defines gay men through a stereotype that is in many ways quite out of date.

Also, I believe my OP outlines some reasonable hypotheses about why different gay men might behave differently. I didn't simply spray vitriol at camp gay men.

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