The Student Room Group

how do i stop my parents?

i'm a 18 years old and cant move out because my parents are asian and really strict. they always look through my phone even though i dont do anything bad i dont talk to boys i revise and get good grades and never go out with my friends. so next time should i say no? because im sick and tired of it now and its so annoying :frown: whenever i say i dont want to unlock it to my mum she shouts at me and threatens to get my dad or uncle to hit me and she starts calling me names. how do i stop them?
Original post by Anonymous
i'm a 18 years old and cant move out because my parents are asian and really strict. they always look through my phone even though i dont do anything bad i dont talk to boys i revise and get good grades and never go out with my friends. so next time should i say no? because im sick and tired of it now and its so annoying :frown: whenever i say i dont want to unlock it to my mum she shouts at me and threatens to get my dad or uncle to hit me and she starts calling me names. how do i stop them?


Oh god...my parents are like that. Luckily I've convinced them to let me move out. I honestly don't think they're going to stop. They might just stop doing it as much but Asian parents are just too much. Do you have any siblings? Maybe firm a uni that's far away from home so you have no choice but to move out?
I know other people are just going to say 'Do what you want, you're 18' but since I was in that same situation, I know it wouldn't work.
Or maybe get a job to avoid them? Even if it's part time

I wish you luck because I know how awful it is...
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Oh god...my parents are like that. Luckily I've convinced them to let me move out. I honestly don't think they're going to stop. They might just stop doing it as much but Asian parents are just too much. Do you have any siblings? Maybe firm a uni that's far away from home so you have no choice but to move out?
I know other people are just going to say 'Do what you want, you're 18' but since I was in that same situation, I know it wouldn't work.
Or maybe get a job to avoid them? Even if it's part time

I wish you luck because I know how awful it is...


thanks for understanding
i have other siblings but theyre younger. my brother is 17 but his phone never gets checked
they made me choose both near home because we had a fight but i hopefully i fail so i dont have to go
Original post by Anonymous
thanks for understanding
i have other siblings but theyre younger. my brother is 17 but his phone never gets checked
they made me choose both near home because we had a fight but i hopefully i fail so i dont have to go


if I were you...i'd cry (play on their emotions) and ask why they don't trust you when you haven't been doing anything wrong and why your brother's phone doesn't get checked. Don't hope you fail, don't ruin your education just because they're making you miserable. Out of curiosity, would your parents rather you just get married or do they prioritise a good degree and job? Mine prefer the latter, which is what helped me to convince them to let me move out.
Confront them, raise your voice if you have to, tell them that you're grown. They're already pretty much controlling your life, what's the worst that can happen if you confront them?

And please, if they do get violent, I'd genuinely call child services or something. Asian communities are backwards, if they're living in the UK they should abide by UK laws as well.
Original post by Anonymous
thanks for understanding
i have other siblings but theyre younger. my brother is 17 but his phone never gets checked
they made me choose both near home because we had a fight but i hopefully i fail so i dont have to go


I know how feel. What you should do is that next time they ask to look at your phone. Just list everything you said about how you don't do anything bad and that they've never found anything bad on your phone. If your mum threatens you, just tell her that it makes no sense for her to treat you like that and explain to her really kindly and softly that you're 18 years old and you wish they would stop treating you like a child. I need to try this out someday as well but I don't have the courage, I hope you do and I hope it all goes well! Maybe don't suggest moving out until you have got them on your good side for a while x
Original post by Anonymous
if I were you...i'd cry (play on their emotions) and ask why they don't trust you when you haven't been doing anything wrong and why your brother's phone doesn't get checked. Don't hope you fail, don't ruin your education just because they're making you miserable. Out of curiosity, would your parents rather you just get married or do they prioritise a good degree and job? Mine prefer the latter, which is what helped me to convince them to let me move out.
Confront them, raise your voice if you have to, tell them that you're grown. They're already pretty much controlling your life, what's the worst that can happen if you confront them?

And please, if they do get violent, I'd genuinely call child services or something. Asian communities are backwards, if they're living in the UK they should abide by UK laws as well.


ive tried but theyre just sexist
they do prefer the latter but they always say 'a girl has to stay with her family until she gets married'
ok thank you :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
i'm a 18 years old and cant move out because my parents are asian and really strict. they always look through my phone even though i dont do anything bad i dont talk to boys i revise and get good grades and never go out with my friends. so next time should i say no? because im sick and tired of it now and its so annoying :frown: whenever i say i dont want to unlock it to my mum she shouts at me and threatens to get my dad or uncle to hit me and she starts calling me names. how do i stop them?


I was just wondering, does your phone has a fingerprint scanner? If so, set all 5 finger profiles to your own. I am Asian and I am 17. My parents are fairly restrictive but don't stalk or look through my stuff that much. I have fingerprints set up on both my OnePlus 2 and iPad Pro. Do it just in case

Quick Reply

Latest