From a parental position here, are you absolutely sure it's all her, and none of it is you? That you don't demand a certain amount of respect from her but don't reciprocate? That you don't feel a little bit more superior being the oldest and that she should do what you feel is right for her?
I say this as a mum that has a son and a daughter who have fought constantly from being little. Violent physical fights, verbal abuse, both constantly accusing me of favouring the other (which is a pretty standard accusation in my circle of friends with kids).
Mine have been so bad sometimes that I have literally left the house and driven off and not come back for hours because I was fed up of being the intermediary and listening to it. Both were equally irrational, sometimes one worse than the other, sometimes both as bad. However, overall, they were and still can be horrible in each other's company. Both are lovely good company without the other.
Even now at 22 and 19 they are not friends, they tolerate each other, but even nice meals are smattered with snidey comments, or him being condescending to her or her being aggressive and defensive with little or no provocation. It never ends.
I find it hard to believe that she is this vile person you describe and you are faultless. She is also 16, a very difficult age for a teenage girl full of hormones.
My sister is a conceited and self-righteous brat. What can I do about it?
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