We had been talking for a couple of months and gotten quite close. Things seemed a bit up and down. We decided we were ready to Skype and then meet up once school finished.
Then suddenly we both tell each other we think we should stop talking for a while. Me, because I have feelings for her and it's a bit painful not having them reciprocated. Her because she felt a break would be good for us both, she felt we didn't have much to talk about anymore, that sort of stuff. I was thinking a few days... she was thinking a few weeks. She no longer wants to meet up, because we'd have not talked for weeks before then.
I've asked her multiple times to be honest, and just tell me if she doesn't want to be friends or whatever. I've tried to talk to her about a week into not talking, and after a very brief conversation she wants to keep not talking for at least another week, and decide then whether we keep going or not.
I don't understand. I'm confused. She says she misses me, and insists she wants to be friends - she isn't just saying it in a polite way, she's adamant about it every time I ask. But everything she's doing and saying otherwise indicates the opposite. I feel completely unwanted, I feel like ****, and I'm ready to just stop talking completely but she insists she doesn't want that.
I don't really get what's going on or what I'm meant to do. I don't think I can cope with being "best friends" right now when we're going to go months at a time without talking, or being part of a friendship where she seems utterly uninterested in me.
Just wanted to get that out there and maybe get some advice. Haven't been too specific in case she sees this, but if anyone wouldn't mind letting me PM them to explain in more depth I'd appreciate that.
Don't know what's going on here tbh
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- 08-06-2016 02:51
- 35 followers
- 2 badges
- 08-06-2016 05:22
If it's angsty before anything has even begun it not worth it. Sounds like she's not up for it. Refocus the wasted energy in to finding Plan B.
- 08-06-2016 07:23
- 5 followers
- 1 badge
- 08-06-2016 17:52
Same situation for me, but we met in school, and its the other way around (hes stopped talking to me but insists he wants to talk ettcc), and its pretty much gone round in circles for a year and its still ongoing. How old are you both? Have you been friends for long? I'd be happy to help from experiece, PM me details if you want
Last edited by Aykem; 08-06-2016 at 18:52.
(Original post by Aykem)
- 08-06-2016 18:33
Same situation for me, but the other way around (hes stopped talking to me but insists he wants to talk ettcc), and its pretty much gone round in circles for a year and its still ongoing. How old are you both? Have you been friends for long? I'd be happy to help from experiece, PM me details if you wantPost rating:2
- 12 followers
- 3 badges
- 08-06-2016 18:41
I'd cut your losses and move on. You're probably being kept there as some sort of emotional support backup.
Also I'd always recommend with online things to meet relatively quickly (once you feel it would be safe) before you both start building up a false ideal partner in your heads that neither of you will be able to live up to.
Incidentally just because she wants to stay friends doesn't mean that you have to. I'm of the opinion that ex's staying friends typically doesn't work (although there are exceptions). Given you've no shared social group and didn't even date it's perfectly reasonable for you to move on.