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Plz help me right now

So basically I'm really attached to one of my friends and I keep expecting stuff from her and I just do so much for her, give her so much love but she doesn't love me as much as I do, she's not attached to me like I am and so things keep getting hard between us because I keep asking her why do you do this and why do you do that and she gets annoyed and says back off .... What should I do
Btw don't say go away from her cuz I can't I'm already attached to her through years
Original post by Starfortune
So basically I'm really attached to one of my friends and I keep expecting stuff from her and I just do so much for her, give her so much love but she doesn't love me as much as I do, she's not attached to me like I am and so things keep getting hard between us because I keep asking her why do you do this and why do you do that and she gets annoyed and says back off .... What should I do
Btw don't say go away from her cuz I can't I'm already attached to her through years


:rolleyes:
you can't force her so dontknow :dontknow:
I was attached to someone once. I considered them my bestie, had tonnes of love and respect for them. But apparently all I was to them was an 'associate' which they could drop at the click of a finger. You've really gotta detach yourself from her before you get hurt and believe me you will
Original post by Starfortune
So basically I'm really attached to one of my friends and I keep expecting stuff from her and I just do so much for her, give her so much love but she doesn't love me as much as I do, she's not attached to me like I am and so things keep getting hard between us because I keep asking her why do you do this and why do you do that and she gets annoyed and says back off .... What should I do
Btw don't say go away from her cuz I can't I'm already attached to her through years


This is not true love that you feel for her because that type of love is selfless, doing things for your beloved without expectation or reward,

Yours is actually a basic friendship in the true sense of the word where you give so much and get so much back in exchange.

Remember, anyone would like to be showered with attention with 'so called love' and she would enjoy your company when you are being generous BUT when you begin to expect something in return and she can't give it to you and feels forced to do so ... She will feel resentful.

So what can you do?

Realise that maybe you're beginning to develop feelings for her and so the terms of your friendship may now be changing... however does she know that? Was she asked to go from friend to loving friend/girlfriend? This may have happened in your mind but it hasn't in hers. So firstly stop expecting her to be something that you've created in your mind that she must conform to and instead start seeing her as the independent and free thinking woman that she is.

Stop showering her openly with your 'love' to show that you care and then expect her to do the same. she's not going to complain of you doing this because admittedly it feels great but she's not obliged to return the favour,

You'll become exhausted and just wasting your enotional energy on her when you could be finding a girl that feels the same way about you.

Don't get angry with her as its normal for anyone to lap up the attention and 'love' being given to them, but just begin seeing this relationship as it really is ... a friendship.

You will always have her in your life ... But for now go and give your love to someone who is looking for the same thing as you.

Good luck
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Starfortune
So basically I'm really attached to one of my friends and I keep expecting stuff from her and I just do so much for her, give her so much love but she doesn't love me as much as I do, she's not attached to me like I am and so things keep getting hard between us because I keep asking her why do you do this and why do you do that and she gets annoyed and says back off .... What should I do
Btw don't say go away from her cuz I can't I'm already attached to her through years


I also had a friend like that. But the thing is you shouldn't really expect things from other people. Even if you help them and love them they won't realise that as they clearly don't see how much you care for them. I know what it feels like because I've experienced it as well. But the best thing is really not to expect anything from her but continue to be her best friend and help her etc without expecting anything from her. The problem starts where you expect people to do things for you or you think your friend should behave like this or that. You can't do that because it's their decision how they choose to behave towards you or anyone. What you can do is to continue the friendship and keep it going and remember don't expect a lot. Eventually you'll be able to win her back and she may start to do things for you in return. Love is key here, do things for her as usual but without expecting anything back.

Btw Sorry for repeating the same words over and over again!
Original post by Workangel_24
I also had a friend like that. But the thing is you shouldn't really expect things from other people. Even if you help them and love them they won't realise that as they clearly don't see how much you care for them. I know what it feels like because I've experienced it as well. But the best thing is really not to expect anything from her but continue to be her best friend and help her etc without expecting anything from her. The problem starts where you expect people to do things for you or you think your friend should behave like this or that. You can't do that because it's their decision how they choose to behave towards you or anyone. What you can do is to continue the friendship and keep it going and remember don't expect a lot. Eventually you'll be able to win her back and she may start to do things for you in return. Love is key here, do things for her as usual but without expecting anything back.

Btw Sorry for repeating the same words over and over again!


Awww thanks so. Much you've really helped me in a way xxx
Stop spending so much time with her.

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