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Not able to move on

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    • Thread Starter

    I met a guy through something similar to City Socialiser where you join groups and meet new people. I turned him down the first time I met him as he kept touching me and we had only just met, people said I did the right thing as he acted too over familiar. He apologised a few weeks later and we got to know each other over time and he seemed ok. I asked him out about 8 months later, he seemed to panic and then said he was not interested in me and that I had my chance before. His way of rejecting me seemed very nasty and childish and yet he acted interested in me all those months after we first met.

    What I don't understand is we have spoken a few times since and he shows signs of interest like flirting from across the room. He shows up and then doesn't come for months. I'm not stupid and know he is on 3 other dating sites. I don't get why he travels over 40 miles to come to these events when they have these in his hometown. This has been ongoing for 3 years and I am struggling to move on.

    I avoided going for the last 6 months to avoid seeing him, I noticed he would check these groups then not come. Then as soon as I come back he put his name down for events I am going to and keeps joining the groups I go to and not other ones. How can I move on when he keeps coming to my hometown and joining my groups when I am trying to move on? I just feel like I get mixed signals and that he only comes back when he has no-one interested in him from the online dating. I have even developed anxiety and depression over this as it has knocked my confidence. Can anyone give me some advice please.

    Get off the app/website lol

    Block him completely and start talking to other people.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter

    Does his behaviour seem like I am just a back up plan or for attention?

    I think you need to be very careful with how much attention you give this guy. He seems to enjoy the attention you're giving him and only he really knows whether he likes you or not. He may well have been hurt by your initial rejection and that was perhaps the reason he rejected you later on. Again this could explain why he is acting the way he is now as he could still have feelings for you and that's why he shows up at the same events. Online dating is very popular but many people use it more to see the interest that they recieve rather than to seriously look for a partner. This is probably the favourable scenario. However he may well just enjoy your attention and as you say be keeping you as a back up when online dating isn't working. The only way you will ever end your uncertainty is to talk to him and see if he'll be honest with you. Also you must not let this make you feel bad about yourself as no worthwhile guy will make you feel worthless.
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