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How I stop destructive urges?

Can anyone help with this? :redface: Basically idk if i'm even allowed to say this but when i'm sad or angry i get incredibly angry like idk how to describe it but i just want to hurt myself and destroy things. I thought this was just normal anger but I think it is a bit more than that now :/ I really don't want to be feeling like this. I have been upset over a lot and i feel ashamed after these sort of things so yeh :/ if anyone has any advice would be appreciated .
(edited 7 years ago)

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You need professional help

Speak to someone
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Can anyone help with this? :redface: Basically idk if i'm even allowed to say this but when i'm sad or angry i get incredibly angry like idk how to describe it but i just want to hurt myself and destroy things. I thought this was just normal anger but I think it is a bit more than that now :/ I really don't want to be feeling like this. I have been upset over a lot and i feel ashamed after these sort of things so yeh :/ if anyone has any advice would be appreciated .


Moved this back to mental health for you :smile: Apologies for the time it's taken :redface:
Reply 3
Speaking to a counsellor could really help you to build control and understand why you're reacting this way.
see a psychiatrist
Buy a punch bag and beat the **** out of it. I'm not against professional help as such, but I would hate to be doped up out of my mind rather than feeling what's real.
Reply 6
You don't need to see anyone.


Try a bit of positive visualisation. Imagine a brighter image to drown out the negative crap that surrounds you. That and listen to positive music. Instead of thinking about problems, think about solutions to problems. Change your mindset. Self help techniques work wonders.

Being angry in itself is a positive emotion. Its just how you channel that energy in its entirety that make it either negative or positive. To help with anger issues, find creative outlets other than listening to heavy metal music. Draw or paint or even just run until you're ****ing exhausted,

If you're lazy, thats bound to affect how angry you are. Because its just then a vicious cycle where you victimize yourself and lash out against the people around you, because the brain and the mind needs to be kept active. Without goals, ambitions and actions, we're potatoe people. Survival of the fittest. Remember that.
(edited 7 years ago)
Try various methods of relaxing, take deep breaths and count to 10 when you feel violent..

Go to the gym, try running and a punching bag

Or get a fluffy toy and just beat it up! ...Or violently love it.
Reply 8
It takes more than distraction techniques to resolve shame based anger. Distraction techniques are useful but they have a limit. They often should only be used in the context of crisis because all they do is move attention, they don't actually work through why you're feeling the way you do. For example, why do you feel you deserve to be punished?

Anger is only a positive emotion if it is justified anger. If it reinforces good self esteem and it propels us towards maintaining or building on self respect. Anger which feels out of control and makes us feel worthless is not positive anger
Reply 9
Original post by Gora The Xplorer
Buy a punch bag and beat the **** out of it. I'm not against professional help as such, but I would hate to be doped up out of my mind rather than feeling what's real.


I doubt meds would even be the outcome of therapeutic appointment for anger difficulties. Firstly, you can get therapy without even being near meds. Only GP, psychiatrist and CPN can prescribe meds in the UK. A psychologist, therapist or counsellor cannot because they aren't given the training. All they can do is refer you, if meds is something you may need or want to explore.

Also, there are many kinds of meds with a range of side effects. They would have to be pretty strong to induce that level of emotional block.

Just sharing because o wouldn't want anyone to be put off seeking help when most of the help available can't even offer meds
Original post by Lucarious30
Try various methods of relaxing, take deep breaths and count to 10 when you feel violent..

Go to the gym, try running and a punching bag

Or get a fluffy toy and just beat it up! ...Or violently love it.

Violently love it :lolwut:

:K: :lol:
Original post by ~Tara~
I doubt meds would even be the outcome of therapeutic appointment for anger difficulties. Firstly, you can get therapy without even being near meds. Only GP, psychiatrist and CPN can prescribe meds in the UK. A psychologist, therapist or counsellor cannot because they aren't given the training. All they can do is refer you, if meds is something you may need or want to explore.

Also, there are many kinds of meds with a range of side effects. They would have to be pretty strong to induce that level of emotional block.

Just sharing because o wouldn't want anyone to be put off seeking help when most of the help available can't even offer meds

So for anger issues you'd mainly suggest therapy to work through why you feel that way? And you don't feel meds are helpful for anger issues?
Original post by Little Popcorns
Violently love it :lolwut:

:K: :lol:


You've never had someone/something you love so much you squeeze it just a little too tight..? Maybe throw in a little punch here and there?
Reply 13
Original post by Little Popcorns
So for anger issues you'd mainly suggest therapy to work through why you feel that way? And you don't feel meds are helpful for anger issues?


Sometimes a combination works - meds for depression or anxiety which combine with the anger. I'm not able to prescribe meds so still speak to a professional in that area but therapy can really help. It depends whether the client is open to therapy, willing to dig into the difficult stuff and actually has hope that it could work.
Original post by ~Tara~
Sometimes a combination works - meds for depression or anxiety which combine with the anger. I'm not able to prescribe meds so still speak to a professional in that area but therapy can really help. It depends whether the client is open to therapy, willing to dig into the difficult stuff and actually has hope that it could work.
If the client is like that would you say in any respect that therapy is preferable?
Original post by Lucarious30
You've never had someone/something you love so much you squeeze it just a little too tight..? Maybe throw in a little punch here and there?

Erm I know what you're getting at but the throwing in a little punch... just no that's like okay now I'm gonna punch you back and this could escalate.
Original post by Little Popcorns
Erm I know what you're getting at but the throwing in a little punch... just no that's like okay now I'm gonna punch you back and this could escalate.


Woah, don't throw me a punch, that's just mean! :frown:
Original post by Lucarious30
Woah, don't throw me a punch, that's just mean! :frown:

so you love me do you :rolleyes:
Original post by Little Popcorns
so you love me do you :rolleyes:


Nonono! I was simply describing my love punches, not aimed at anyone here!
(I've gone from giving advice to being put on trial... TSR does wonders)
Original post by Lucarious30
Nonono! I was simply describing my love punches, not aimed at anyone here!
(I've gone from giving advice to being put on trial... TSR does wonders)
this is what happens when you punch people :h:

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