In love with a guy I met on-line

Never fall in love with someone you haven't met. You don't know them and you will have naturally filled in the blanks with your ideal person that they can never live up to in reality.

This is of course assuming they're not just catfishing/playing you outright which is also very common online.

Sorry, I know this isn't the response you were looking for.

Reply 2

Eternalflames

17

Have you Skyped?
How long have you been talking for?
How quickly did things progress?

Reply 3

Eternalflames

17

Original post by Elivercury

Never fall in love with someone you haven't met. You don't know them and you will have naturally filled in the blanks with your ideal person that they can never live up to in reality.

This is of course assuming they're not just catfishing/playing you outright which is also very common online.

Sorry, I know this isn't the response you were looking for.

Wish I'd been told this last year :frown:

Reply 4

OP

Original post by Elivercury

Never fall in love with someone you haven't met. You don't know them and you will have naturally filled in the blanks with your ideal person that they can never live up to in reality.

This is of course assuming they're not just catfishing/playing you outright which is also very common online.

Sorry, I know this isn't the response you were looking for.

He isn't Catfishing me. I know he isn't. I never wanted a boyfriend before i just wasn't interested so in doubt he is filling in ideals. :'(

Original post by Eternalflames

Have you Skyped?
How long have you been talking for?
How quickly did things progress?

We haven't Skyped, but I've spoken to him loads. I've only known him for a few months but my sister has known him longer. Not sure of the dates for them.

After a few months we said we were boyfriend and girlfriend and more recently said i love you.

Reply 5

Lauren_Connor

As much as you think you may like this guy you don't really know him he could pretend to be someone he's not (Not saying he is ) Just think about it properly maybe ask him to get Skype so you can see each other that will probably make a difference and don't rush anything to see him or take a gap out of Uni Maybe he could come and see you instead??

Reply 6

Original post by Eternalflames

Wish I'd been told this last year :frown:

Yup, been there, it sucks :frown:

.

I always recommend to anyone considering internet dating to always meet relatively soon to avoid such issues. It doesn't stop them being ********s, but at least you've not invested too much.

Reply 7

Original post by Bekkiblu

He isn't Catfishing me. I know he isn't. I never wanted a boyfriend before i just wasn't interested so in doubt he is filling in ideals. :'(

We haven't Skyped, but I've spoken to him loads. I've only known him for a few months but my sister has known him longer. Not sure of the dates for them.

After a few months we said we were boyfriend and girlfriend and more recently said i love you.

Incidentally if you haven't skyped how do you know he isn't catfishing you.

It's not a case of "wanting a boyfriend". You can only know so much about a person you've never met in person and you naturally paint a perfect picture of them in your head. The longer you go without meeting the more you paint that picture. Unfortunately we are not pictures and we can never live up to them. Not in any relationship I've ever seen, anyway.

Take it from someone who has been in several "online relationships" that they don't work. Either it all fizzles out or explodes in some sort of online drama before you meet (such as catfishing) or you meet up and they simple aren't who you thought they were and you aren't willing to settle for anything less than the perfect picture you've created in your head.

I'm not saying cut off all contact or anything, but I'd attempt to manage your expectations and keep things purely friendly until you are able to meet.

Incidentally, if you're talking Cambridge university when you say come to teach, the idea that you've found someone in Mexico online who is qualified to move to Cambridge uni to teach and is going to do so in order to be with you, is a pretty tall tale, sorry to say. He also sounds quite a bit older than you.

Reply 8

shawn_o1

21

You're gonna elope to Mexico
Called up your mama, said you're in love with a Cambridge teacher yo

Reply 9

OP

Original post by Lauren_Connor

As much as you think you may like this guy you don't really know him he could pretend to be someone he's not (Not saying he is ) Just think about it properly maybe ask him to get Skype so you can see each other that will probably make a difference and don't rush anything to see him or take a gap out of Uni Maybe he could come and see you instead??

When he does come over to teach, he will be coming down to visit me, but we down know when that will be.

Deep down i don't think he loves me as much as i do him, i cried myself to sleep over him last night.

Reply 10

Alextaylor6

14

Original post by Bekkiblu

When he does come over to teach, he will be coming down to visit me, but we down know when that will be.

Deep down i don't think he loves me as much as i do him, i cried myself to sleep over him last night.

how does your sister know him and has she ever met him in real life?

Reply 11

OP

Original post by Elivercury

Incidentally if you haven't skyped how do you know he isn't catfishing you.

It's not a case of "wanting a boyfriend". You can only know so much about a person you've never met in person and you naturally paint a perfect picture of them in your head. The longer you go without meeting the more you paint that picture. Unfortunately we are not pictures and we can never live up to them. Not in any relationship I've ever seen, anyway.

Take it from someone who has been in several "online relationships" that they don't work. Either it all fizzles out or explodes in some sort of online drama before you meet (such as catfishing) or you meet up and they simple aren't who you thought they were and you aren't willing to settle for anything less than the perfect picture you've created in your head.

I'm not saying cut off all contact or anything, but I'd attempt to manage your expectations and keep things purely friendly until you are able to meet.

Incidentally, if you're talking Cambridge university when you say come to teach, the idea that you've found someone in Mexico online who is qualified to move to Cambridge uni to teach and is going to do so in order to be with you, is a pretty tall tale, sorry to say. He also sounds quite a bit older than you.

Yes he is a lot older than me, he is a teacher in a private Mexican school. I often hear him talking Spanish to either students or colleagues when we talk on the phone.

Reply 12

OP

Original post by Alextaylor6

how does your sister know him and has she ever met him in real life?

I'm not entirely sure, she said they are friends but I'm not sure how they met

Reply 13

OP

Original post by shawn_o1

You're gonna elope to Mexico
Called up your mama, said you're in love with a Cambridge teacher yo

My mama is dead!!! It may be a joke but that comment wasn't funny.

Reply 14

Delilah234

9

I'm going to have to agree with what the others have said above. Maybe try to arrange a Skype session of Facetime him? Trust me with online dating the way someone sounds on the phone and via text might be drastically different from who they are when you meet them face to face. Please do not run off to meet him in Mexico or take a gap year just for him. No matter how lovely he is, if he's really invested in you then he'll be in Cambridge soon enough and you both can meet. Maybe cool things a little till you've had a chance to meet or even Skype him? Hope it goes well, good luck!

Reply 15

OP

Original post by Edmund Monfort

Going to Mexico to "be" with a guy you've never met in the flesh and who you possibly have an unrealistic, idolised picture of is the opposite of a good idea.

But i love him

Reply 16

Original post by Bekkiblu

Yes he is a lot older than me, he is a teacher in a private Mexican school. I often hear him talking Spanish to either students or colleagues when we talk on the phone.

I mean, relationships with age differences can work, but they're usually harder work and require the elder to be fairly immature and the junior to be extra mature. Only you know how accurate that is in this case.

How do you know he's speaking to students/colleagues? Could just be family members. Why's he calling you at work anyway? I have teacher friends and they barely get enough to time piss and grab a coffee, let alone have protracted phonecalls with distance lovers.

I'm assuming he's planning to come teach Spanish? Why at Cambridge? I mean if he wants to move for you surely he'd move nearby and the secondary schools in Cambridge are no better than anywhere else in the country I would imagine.

You also appear yo have ignored everything else I said/asked.

Reply 17

OP

Original post by Delilah234

I'm going to have to agree with what the others have said above. Maybe try to arrange a Skype session of Facetime him? Trust me with online dating the way someone sounds on the phone and via text might be drastically different from who they are when you meet them face to face. Please do not run off to meet him in Mexico or take a gap year just for him. No matter how lovely he is, if he's really invested in you then he'll be in Cambridge soon enough and you both can meet. Maybe cool things a little till you've had a chance to meet or even Skype him? Hope it goes well, good luck!

Thank you, He knows i have strong career plans I'm hoping to go Oxford myself. We don't know exactly when he is due to come and teach over here.

Reply 18