So i don't know how my anxiety has gotten worse but I am questioning everything about my life at the moment.
I have graduated but I am regretting everything and every choice i have every made. i feel like my past bad experiences have influenced the way I have made choice in life.
I was bullyied and isloated by me friends at one point agess ago in school. i never used to have bad anxiety issues back then, but since then I could not even walk into a class without feeling nervous and I couldn't even speak up. i never had this issue before this horrible experience with my year group. I guess I just felt really intimidated by how eveyone was acting and they really did hate me.
I started focusing soley on my studies and put alot of pressure on myself to d well academically which i thought would help me in my career one day. However istruggled to find any job with my academics and i was a nervous wreack who no one would hire.
I chose subject to study in Alvels which i thought would avoid having to face the people who made my life hell, I just couldnt face how much they ignored me and the way they treated me it was humiliating.
I even went to a university where i wouldnt have to face them.I felt like everyone i knew had ditched me , my personality changed and I became extreamly nervous although before i was popular and friendly. I was never in a good mood which cause me to become more isolated.
I know academics are important but this experience made me think that was all I had to offer a potential employer and when i dindt do so well, I broke down compleltely. I have now got my degree. but i still have not regained my social life and self confidence. I jsut feel like i dont deserve to be happy. I have a job but i still feel not good enough to progress in any career. i still cannot get up in a room full of people and speak!!
I see peolple who studied easier subjects than me and still get to the place i am and i get angry that i didnt just take the easy route aswell.
I dont go out much, and apart from work I have no social life and i am getting really stressed out and alone with my worries. Life feel really difficult and is a complete contrast to the person i used to be when I was younger whol experienced life fully. I have forgotten how to enjoy life and be amibitoud again. i feel liek i am wasting away my potential.
If this makes sense i woudl appreciate any advice.
Anxiety obout my life - do i need therapy?
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